Having another family member in the house!
My grandma is here for the next two weeks.
I honestly don't know how to cope with it. I do love her, she IS my grandma! But she still remembers me as her little girl. She's also like my mother.. times two! *casting beady eye around suspiciously* How am I supposed to write a good, raunchy lemon scene with a sweet, highly proper, God-fearing Catholic woman in the house? *sighs* Guess it's to the library I go!
Also dealing with the remnants of my "fight" with the oil filter at work.. sliced my ring and pinky fingers (mostly the pinky). Typing with band-aids is fun. Really. ;p
I really need to start posting mindless posts again.
Have you ever wanted to be completely, totally selfish?
Now those who know me may say "aren't you usually?". And yeah, I can be, I'll admit it. But here's the situation:
A group of my friends were going to a convention (N, A, and O). One reserved a room. The other two weren't sure they were going. Then the other two (A and O) decided they weren't going. Then N couldn't make it either, so they cancelled the room.
Now A and O.. well, mostly O, who called me, desperately want to go (one of O's favorite bands is coming). But they don't have a hotel room.
And I, unfortunately, do.
Why is this an "unfortunately"?
Because it's been a fight for months to keep it a weekend (and room) for myself and another acquaintance (D). Two of my co-workers already tried to hitch a ride. Both of us have even lied to keep them away.
Now I'm in a bind. I've accepted invitations to go to cons with A and O last-minute, and thus imposing on them, which makes me feel guilty. And they don't know anything about my plans with D.. except that D is going.
My options are:
1. Say "yes", and try and talk D around into saying okay. This way guilt is assuaged, but I will feel resentful toward O and A the entire time. And I'll have to fork over less money for the room.
Or
2. Say "no". Then I will feel eternally guilty that I didn't help out friends in a bind, especially since I'd offered once. And be poorer. But I'll enjoy my vacation alot more.
And with saying "no", the only explanation that would make them back off.. the simple, unadorned truth.. would be telling them more than I would like to.
I'm really NOT happy about this. There's just no way to solve this without someone getting hurt/feeling uncomfortable. Self-sacrificing me says "they're your friends! You should let them in! You have room! Some friend you are if you can't even offer them a room...". Self-absorbed me says "This has been planned for so long, I have every right to keep a room to who I want to keep it to. This is supposed to be a special trip for you, and you're gonna throw it all away because.. *thinking very uncharitable things as I descend into the darker part of myself that I keep trying to forget is there*."
And I know most of the people on my list can read between the lines there.
Plus I haven't even told D yet. I have a feeling he'll flip at first, then grudgingly accept defeat if I lobby for sharing the room. But I don't WANT to.
I really want to say "no". I REALLY want to say NO!
And it's making me a wreck.
Guilt and possible loss of friendship for the sake of having a good time.. or resentment for the sake of being there to help? It's a no-win situation.
Guess I'll just have a good cry at the unfairness of life (darn hormones) and sort it out later.
Creatively? Finished a short AMV pairing "Inu Yasha" footage with.. of all things.. a song from the old '80's cartoon "JEM". Just some fun I was having (my masterpiece in that arena is in progress!). Had an old plot bunny ruffle his fur at me. Want to finish up "Ai no Koinu" Chapter 6...
But I shall leave you all with something fun!
you are the cute but psycho happy bunny. You
adorable, but a little out there. It's alright,
you might not have it all, but there are worse
which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
I honestly don't know how to cope with it. I do love her, she IS my grandma! But she still remembers me as her little girl. She's also like my mother.. times two! *casting beady eye around suspiciously* How am I supposed to write a good, raunchy lemon scene with a sweet, highly proper, God-fearing Catholic woman in the house? *sighs* Guess it's to the library I go!
Also dealing with the remnants of my "fight" with the oil filter at work.. sliced my ring and pinky fingers (mostly the pinky). Typing with band-aids is fun. Really. ;p
I really need to start posting mindless posts again.
Have you ever wanted to be completely, totally selfish?
Now those who know me may say "aren't you usually?". And yeah, I can be, I'll admit it. But here's the situation:
A group of my friends were going to a convention (N, A, and O). One reserved a room. The other two weren't sure they were going. Then the other two (A and O) decided they weren't going. Then N couldn't make it either, so they cancelled the room.
Now A and O.. well, mostly O, who called me, desperately want to go (one of O's favorite bands is coming). But they don't have a hotel room.
And I, unfortunately, do.
Why is this an "unfortunately"?
Because it's been a fight for months to keep it a weekend (and room) for myself and another acquaintance (D). Two of my co-workers already tried to hitch a ride. Both of us have even lied to keep them away.
Now I'm in a bind. I've accepted invitations to go to cons with A and O last-minute, and thus imposing on them, which makes me feel guilty. And they don't know anything about my plans with D.. except that D is going.
My options are:
1. Say "yes", and try and talk D around into saying okay. This way guilt is assuaged, but I will feel resentful toward O and A the entire time. And I'll have to fork over less money for the room.
Or
2. Say "no". Then I will feel eternally guilty that I didn't help out friends in a bind, especially since I'd offered once. And be poorer. But I'll enjoy my vacation alot more.
And with saying "no", the only explanation that would make them back off.. the simple, unadorned truth.. would be telling them more than I would like to.
I'm really NOT happy about this. There's just no way to solve this without someone getting hurt/feeling uncomfortable. Self-sacrificing me says "they're your friends! You should let them in! You have room! Some friend you are if you can't even offer them a room...". Self-absorbed me says "This has been planned for so long, I have every right to keep a room to who I want to keep it to. This is supposed to be a special trip for you, and you're gonna throw it all away because.. *thinking very uncharitable things as I descend into the darker part of myself that I keep trying to forget is there*."
And I know most of the people on my list can read between the lines there.
Plus I haven't even told D yet. I have a feeling he'll flip at first, then grudgingly accept defeat if I lobby for sharing the room. But I don't WANT to.
I really want to say "no". I REALLY want to say NO!
And it's making me a wreck.
Guilt and possible loss of friendship for the sake of having a good time.. or resentment for the sake of being there to help? It's a no-win situation.
Guess I'll just have a good cry at the unfairness of life (darn hormones) and sort it out later.
Creatively? Finished a short AMV pairing "Inu Yasha" footage with.. of all things.. a song from the old '80's cartoon "JEM". Just some fun I was having (my masterpiece in that arena is in progress!). Had an old plot bunny ruffle his fur at me. Want to finish up "Ai no Koinu" Chapter 6...
But I shall leave you all with something fun!
you are the cute but psycho happy bunny. You
adorable, but a little out there. It's alright,
you might not have it all, but there are worse
which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla