She hears something that she doesn't like.
I went out to sushi today with my sister and various other things (like picking up more contact lenses and such)... but during lunch, it somehow came across the conversation about me being lesbian... and mom knowing about it... my sister said that mom blames her for not being a better sister which is why I'm lesbian.
Just hearing such things makes me so frustrated, upset, what other negative feeling have you... such and such...
I end up just telling myself, "I must be successful, and I must show them that being lesbian doesn't mean I'm any different than everyone else."
...but at the same time, for even needing to tell myself such... upsets me, too. Why is it different? It's not. It's not like I would go gawk at every single female that walks by me, or anything. Why must it be me who HAS to be successful just to prove I'm a normal human being who just wants... to live?
Just like how that girl who hugged me for my birthday one year. Another girl told her not to hug me, simply because I'm lesbian. Like I'd grope her or something. I can't have friends who are women? Is that how it is? Boys and girls can't be friends?
What, so do straight girls talk about guys all day, and vice versa? And do they have sex all the time with the opposite sex simply because?
I don't think so... so why must everyone think of me this way?
My sister talked about how her boyfriend, Sam, heard that Ron was gay. Sam said something along the lines of "Oh great, now it will be awkward!"
Why would it be?
He's another person, just like you, Mr. Sam. It's only awkward because you make it awkward...
Just because I love someone who is also a girl doesn't mean that my hobbies and interests are abnormal. Oh, suddenly playing video games is answered! Suddenly doing this or that is just perfectly fine because I'm lesbian.
Yet the way I look doesn't match "lesbian," so you'll all just tell me that I will pass this phase, that I will get over it.
I've never kissed a boy. I've never had sex with a boy. I am just not attracted to the male figure... is that so hard to understand?
I get better slack for expressing my love for fictional women. It's weird and odd, but yet because I can't, you know, have sex with them, it makes it all the better. Just for some reason, some reason. Maybe I should just stick with that. It's easier, anyway.
I'm not sure how much of my sister's word I should trust. She's said some pretty random things, and she has remembered many events differently than how I have (or how it has happened)... just click the sister LJ tag above to read past entries on her.
I actually have plenty of things to do now, and at the same time I kind of don't want to do them. Better start on it one at a time, right?
Just hearing such things makes me so frustrated, upset, what other negative feeling have you... such and such...
I end up just telling myself, "I must be successful, and I must show them that being lesbian doesn't mean I'm any different than everyone else."
...but at the same time, for even needing to tell myself such... upsets me, too. Why is it different? It's not. It's not like I would go gawk at every single female that walks by me, or anything. Why must it be me who HAS to be successful just to prove I'm a normal human being who just wants... to live?
Just like how that girl who hugged me for my birthday one year. Another girl told her not to hug me, simply because I'm lesbian. Like I'd grope her or something. I can't have friends who are women? Is that how it is? Boys and girls can't be friends?
What, so do straight girls talk about guys all day, and vice versa? And do they have sex all the time with the opposite sex simply because?
I don't think so... so why must everyone think of me this way?
My sister talked about how her boyfriend, Sam, heard that Ron was gay. Sam said something along the lines of "Oh great, now it will be awkward!"
Why would it be?
He's another person, just like you, Mr. Sam. It's only awkward because you make it awkward...
Just because I love someone who is also a girl doesn't mean that my hobbies and interests are abnormal. Oh, suddenly playing video games is answered! Suddenly doing this or that is just perfectly fine because I'm lesbian.
Yet the way I look doesn't match "lesbian," so you'll all just tell me that I will pass this phase, that I will get over it.
I've never kissed a boy. I've never had sex with a boy. I am just not attracted to the male figure... is that so hard to understand?
I get better slack for expressing my love for fictional women. It's weird and odd, but yet because I can't, you know, have sex with them, it makes it all the better. Just for some reason, some reason. Maybe I should just stick with that. It's easier, anyway.
I'm not sure how much of my sister's word I should trust. She's said some pretty random things, and she has remembered many events differently than how I have (or how it has happened)... just click the sister LJ tag above to read past entries on her.
I actually have plenty of things to do now, and at the same time I kind of don't want to do them. Better start on it one at a time, right?