(no subject)

[miloxxx]

well today was an interesting day. School was boring but thats nothing new. I had an amazing workout today, i had a hard time walking up the stairs without my legs shakin, they are still sore, man i love that feeling. Then I got ready and headed over to tapioca express to meet wallace, aaron and darren, but i got stuck in traffic for like an hour and i was getting all stressed and pissed off(aaron was stuck too) and i really needed a drink, so luckily i was heading to tapioca express where i got myself a lovely mango milk tea which calmed me down. So I was sorta off balance from then on do to no meditation earlier and bad stress levels. I controlled myself pretty well, i went to AJ's apartment for a get together and it was chill. At one point me and kimmy went out for food and then we drove around for like 30 minutes, it was my fav part of the night i think, cept when she complained about listening to styx and made a scene in the parking lot!!! AT one point in the night i had finally relaxed after chewing on a phone for like 15 minutes and then i went out on the balcony to get away from people and meditated ad reflected for about 30/45 minutes. This may have been my favorite time. I wasnt ready to go home and if i did i knew i wouldnt have gone into a clear minded state. The cold enhanced my reflection period greatly and i realized this during the time and then i reflected on why this is. I decided the cold weather balances out my warm heart.soul, aura which led to my awesome reflection. It took a while after one point to get my reflection thoughts flowing but once they did I was able to sit still and think about them for a while. during the middle of this time I wish aaron had come back to the hangout and was out on the balcony chilling with me because I wanted to discuss these thoughts to an extent and i knew he wouldve understood and been able to keep a conversation plus everyone at the party wasnt in a sober state so if i had gotten one of them i probably wouldnt have gotten the conversation i needed, or they wouldnt have liked being out in the cold for a long time. But man after that period i felt good and awake. I watched mallrats and everyone was goin to sleep but i didnt wanna sleep, so i decided to leave because i wanted to drive and i decided if i was gonna drive i might as well drive home. Well i had an awesome peaceful drive home listeng to Styx, it really soothed me and now here I am at 4:30 still awake as hell knowing it may or may not take its toll on me tommorow, but we will just have to see. My alone time tonight was something i needed, i need to get back into a better routine of making sure i have these times cause they do me well, and if youve known me(mainly applies to people who have known me for a good 3 or 4 years) you know i get in these moods where i just need to reflect and be away from people(while still in a social environmnet) and some of my friends it has wierded out, but some understand the way i am and who I am. Im just rambling with thoughts. Onething i realized is i have tons of regrets in my life, but i choose not to concentrate on them and concentrate on decisions that make me happier than ever. Seriously the thing that has made me the happiest is my choice to abstain from alcohol, drugs and what not, my choice to go straight edge. ITs what has made me love myself these past years and kept me strong and positive. These beliefs have done so much for me, its definitely the best decision of my life because i could see me hating myself right now if i wasnt. Its suprising what such simple beliefs can do for a person.

Posi friend of thursday goes to Jim Taheri, we had a rad hangout night

Posi Friend of Friday goes to my Fav Twin Kimmy, she rules and every needs to recognize that she is one of the sweetest girls ever.