(no subject)
It's the little things that make you realize you're happy. Sometimes it can be the simple act of smiling more at people who cross you. It can be the brushing off of comments that used to infuriate you. It can be sensing this calm feeling rising and smoothing out the rough edges. It can be restlessness right before bed, reminding you that the day was great, why end it now? And sometimes it's the big things. Not having to force your laughter anymore, smiling when that certain someone smiles. Acting as young as you really are. And I've done all of these. All of these little signs. I've straightened out my life, I've stopped getting so angry at other people, secretly knowing that their faults reflect mine, and that's why they piss me off so much. I just made my bed, for God's sake. I'm going to school. To SCHOOL. I'm passing my tests, I'm TAKING my tests. I've even requested them. I'm going to summer school, people. I'm making effort to have this all settle itself out. And I'm realizing, more and more, how much of an effect this one person can have on me. I'm writing less and less about what's wrong in the world, and more and more about how wonderful it is to wake up to a face full of sunlight streaming through your window. I'm even here, tonight, at eleven, telling you about how happy I am, and not how tired, or depressed. I don't even think I've felt depression in weeks. I feel.. free. I'm not longer plauged with curses from my past and people who are inconsequential now. I'm happy.
..Happy. And all because of one person.
I HUM in the hallways now. I feel like running, skipping. I giggle. I *giggle*. Do you understand what that means? I wear a locket with his picture inside, and find myself opening it and gazing at it, and keeping him jealousy tucked in my shirt. I'm in love.
I'm in love, and not just in love with the idea of love, but in love with a person, even enjoying his little quirks. His faults may irk me, but they make him all the more special.
I want everyone to be as happy as I am. Even those I claimed to hate. No one should be without this feeling.
Mel
..Happy. And all because of one person.
I HUM in the hallways now. I feel like running, skipping. I giggle. I *giggle*. Do you understand what that means? I wear a locket with his picture inside, and find myself opening it and gazing at it, and keeping him jealousy tucked in my shirt. I'm in love.
I'm in love, and not just in love with the idea of love, but in love with a person, even enjoying his little quirks. His faults may irk me, but they make him all the more special.
I want everyone to be as happy as I am. Even those I claimed to hate. No one should be without this feeling.
Mel