(no subject)
1. Ever been offered an engagement ring?
I'm unloved.
2. Longest friendship?
That would be bias, affectionately known as merv
3. Last gift you received?
A book on fun things to lie to children about, given to
me by my ex
4. How many times have you dropped your cell/mobile
phone?
It seems to have an affection for strawberry and banana
smoothie, and as a result is rather sticky. Course the
phone sex doesn't help
5. When's the last time you worked out?
I once worked out that putting your legs behind your
head is only ever gonna be beneficial for women
6. Thing you last spent a lot of money on?
My TV which is broken
7. Last food you ate?
Chorizo
8. First thing you notice about the opposite sex?
smile and tits...if only tits could smile
9. One favourite song?
Perfect Circle: Magdalena
10. Where do you live?
As far away from France as money dictates
11. Mobile phone service provider?
3
12. Favourite high street store?
KFC
13. Longest job ever had?
I worked for the KGB for 10 years disguised as a spanish
prostitue. They didn't tell me to, which is probably why
they fired me in the end
14. Do you own a pair of dice?
I do not
15. Do you prank call people?
Only if I think it might be funny, or cause serious
emotional trauma
16. Last wedding attended?
My brothers, but it's all very hazy
17. First friend you'd call if you won the lottery?
I wouldn't tell anyone
18. Last time you attended church/synagogue, etc.?
Probably when I was forced to go to sunday school
19. How old are you?
27
20. Biggest lie you have heard?
"It's too big to fit there"
21. What do you want to drive?
A big ass tractor
22. Where's your favourite place to eat with friends?
Soup kitchen
23. Can you cook?
I'm a fantastic chef
24. What car do you drive?
Legs
25. Favourite plant?
I love all my plant friends equally
26. Last time you cried?
When a hockey ball hit me in the plums
27. Most disliked food?
Mushrooms, it's a fucking fungus
28. Thing you like most about yourself?
My ability to spell lose correctly. Loose does in fact
mean something else completely people
29. Thing you dislike most about yourself?
The hair that tickles my anus
30. Longest shift you have worked at a job?
I never work at a job
31. Favourite movie?
That one where you see sharon stones gash, or schindlers
list...or is schindlers list the one where you see
sharon stones gash?
32. Can you sing?
I can attempt to sing
33. Last concert?
No idea
34. What colour are your eyes?:
Deepest, darkest brown
35. Who knows your darkest secret?
Any who spend their evenings trawling the t'internet for
hermaphrodite porn...I've said too much
36. Last movie rented?
Are you saying I'm gay?
37. Thing you never leave home without?
My ham sandwich and pyjamas
38. Do you like Chinese food?
Me like it long time
39. Is your room clean?
It is if you think of the pants as decoration
40. Laptop or desktop computer?
Desktop
41. Favourite comedian?
Stephen Fry
42. Do you smoke?
Chain smoker
43. Sleep with or without clothes?
I like to sleep with them next to me, moulded into the
shape of a lady
44. Who sleeps with you every night?
I don't sleep with anyone most nights
45. Long distance relationships work?
Only if you don't mind each other being unfaithful, and
not seeing each other ever again after you meet up the
first 2 times
46. How many times have you been pulled over by the
police?
Too many to count. Myself and bias used to get stopped
on our way home from clubbing almost every time. Not for
any particular reason. Just for staggering round
residential streets at 4am.
47. Pancakes or french toast?
Kronenbourg 1664
48. Do you like coffee?
I do
49. How do you like your eggs?
Stringed together and shoved up my bum like love beads
50. Do you believe in astrology?
There is such a thing as astrology, it's in the fucking
dictionary dumbass. I think you meant to ask if I
believed in the validity of it providing an insight into
predicting are futures...and no
51. Last person you talked to on the phone?
She was too busy telling me what she was doing to
herself to go into formalities such as name
52. Last person on your missed call list?
number witheld
53. What was the last text message you received?
'When I said I wanted more than just sex, I was not
referring to also wanting anal'
54. McDonalds or Burger King?
McDonalds...burger king staff are cunts
55. Number of pillows?
2 lovely plump ones
56. What are you wearing right now?
Clothes
57. Pick a lyric, any lyric or song?
"A pure intention juxtaposed will set 2 lovers souls in
motion"
58. What kind of JAM do you like on your PB & J
sandwich?
strawberry
59. Can you play pool?
Not in the slightest but I pretend well
60. Do you know how to swim?
I choose not to lest I meet a watery grave
61. Favourite ice cream?
Ben and Jerry's chocolate fudge brownie.
62. Do you like maps?
I really do, and I think the invention of the tom tom is
a sad thing for all paper based map enjoyers such as
myself
63. Tell me a random fact about yourself?
Doing IQ tests my IQ fluctuates between 136 and 154,
which just goes to show what bollocks they really are.
So, you can arrange 4 arrows to make 5 huh? Big deal...I
bet cave men couldn't work that one out but those hairy
fuckers discovered fire...and all you can do with your
175 IQ is win a game of frigging chess!
64. Ever attend a theme party?
Only if the theme was drunken tramp
65. What's your favourite season?
Oregano
66. Last time you laughed at something stupid?
Virgin Media taking over NTL and completely destroying
it within the space of a month
67. What time did you wake up this morning?
7...I'm a very good boy
68. Best thing about winter?
hunting santa with a spear fashioned out of a matchstick
and a compass point
69. Last time a cop gave you a ticket?
never
70. What's the scariest thing you've ever done?
Page 37 of the karma sutra
71. Do you think pirates are cool or overrated?
What's so cool about sea faring burglars?
72. What are you doing this weekend?
pretending to work
73. Who's your best friend?
I don't have one that stands out
74. What is the third letter of your name?
A
75. How old are your pets?
I've never thought to ask them
76. What colour is your backpack?
black
77. Are you sick?
Is perversity a sickness?
78. Is the bathroom open?
yes
87. Are you smiling?
No.
88. Do you have on eyeliner?
Nope.
89. Do you miss someone right now?
yes
90. If you could go anywhere in the world where would
you go?
2 feet to my left
91. Do you have a Myspace?
yes, it's crap
92. Are you in high school?
nope
93. Do you have a crush?
Not really.
94. What is your favourite nickname for yourself?
Flipper...flipper the priest
95. What colour is your bathing suit?
I prefer to scare/entice the swimmers with my nudity
96. What's your favourite brand of water?
brand? It's fucking water!
97. Did you go on vacation last month?
Nope.
98. Have you ever been on a cruise?
I've been arrested for it many times
99. Do you have a sister?
No.
100. Are you upstairs?
I don't have an upstairs
I'm unloved.
2. Longest friendship?
That would be bias, affectionately known as merv
3. Last gift you received?
A book on fun things to lie to children about, given to
me by my ex
4. How many times have you dropped your cell/mobile
phone?
It seems to have an affection for strawberry and banana
smoothie, and as a result is rather sticky. Course the
phone sex doesn't help
5. When's the last time you worked out?
I once worked out that putting your legs behind your
head is only ever gonna be beneficial for women
6. Thing you last spent a lot of money on?
My TV which is broken
7. Last food you ate?
Chorizo
8. First thing you notice about the opposite sex?
smile and tits...if only tits could smile
9. One favourite song?
Perfect Circle: Magdalena
10. Where do you live?
As far away from France as money dictates
11. Mobile phone service provider?
3
12. Favourite high street store?
KFC
13. Longest job ever had?
I worked for the KGB for 10 years disguised as a spanish
prostitue. They didn't tell me to, which is probably why
they fired me in the end
14. Do you own a pair of dice?
I do not
15. Do you prank call people?
Only if I think it might be funny, or cause serious
emotional trauma
16. Last wedding attended?
My brothers, but it's all very hazy
17. First friend you'd call if you won the lottery?
I wouldn't tell anyone
18. Last time you attended church/synagogue, etc.?
Probably when I was forced to go to sunday school
19. How old are you?
27
20. Biggest lie you have heard?
"It's too big to fit there"
21. What do you want to drive?
A big ass tractor
22. Where's your favourite place to eat with friends?
Soup kitchen
23. Can you cook?
I'm a fantastic chef
24. What car do you drive?
Legs
25. Favourite plant?
I love all my plant friends equally
26. Last time you cried?
When a hockey ball hit me in the plums
27. Most disliked food?
Mushrooms, it's a fucking fungus
28. Thing you like most about yourself?
My ability to spell lose correctly. Loose does in fact
mean something else completely people
29. Thing you dislike most about yourself?
The hair that tickles my anus
30. Longest shift you have worked at a job?
I never work at a job
31. Favourite movie?
That one where you see sharon stones gash, or schindlers
list...or is schindlers list the one where you see
sharon stones gash?
32. Can you sing?
I can attempt to sing
33. Last concert?
No idea
34. What colour are your eyes?:
Deepest, darkest brown
35. Who knows your darkest secret?
Any who spend their evenings trawling the t'internet for
hermaphrodite porn...I've said too much
36. Last movie rented?
Are you saying I'm gay?
37. Thing you never leave home without?
My ham sandwich and pyjamas
38. Do you like Chinese food?
Me like it long time
39. Is your room clean?
It is if you think of the pants as decoration
40. Laptop or desktop computer?
Desktop
41. Favourite comedian?
Stephen Fry
42. Do you smoke?
Chain smoker
43. Sleep with or without clothes?
I like to sleep with them next to me, moulded into the
shape of a lady
44. Who sleeps with you every night?
I don't sleep with anyone most nights
45. Long distance relationships work?
Only if you don't mind each other being unfaithful, and
not seeing each other ever again after you meet up the
first 2 times
46. How many times have you been pulled over by the
police?
Too many to count. Myself and bias used to get stopped
on our way home from clubbing almost every time. Not for
any particular reason. Just for staggering round
residential streets at 4am.
47. Pancakes or french toast?
Kronenbourg 1664
48. Do you like coffee?
I do
49. How do you like your eggs?
Stringed together and shoved up my bum like love beads
50. Do you believe in astrology?
There is such a thing as astrology, it's in the fucking
dictionary dumbass. I think you meant to ask if I
believed in the validity of it providing an insight into
predicting are futures...and no
51. Last person you talked to on the phone?
She was too busy telling me what she was doing to
herself to go into formalities such as name
52. Last person on your missed call list?
number witheld
53. What was the last text message you received?
'When I said I wanted more than just sex, I was not
referring to also wanting anal'
54. McDonalds or Burger King?
McDonalds...burger king staff are cunts
55. Number of pillows?
2 lovely plump ones
56. What are you wearing right now?
Clothes
57. Pick a lyric, any lyric or song?
"A pure intention juxtaposed will set 2 lovers souls in
motion"
58. What kind of JAM do you like on your PB & J
sandwich?
strawberry
59. Can you play pool?
Not in the slightest but I pretend well
60. Do you know how to swim?
I choose not to lest I meet a watery grave
61. Favourite ice cream?
Ben and Jerry's chocolate fudge brownie.
62. Do you like maps?
I really do, and I think the invention of the tom tom is
a sad thing for all paper based map enjoyers such as
myself
63. Tell me a random fact about yourself?
Doing IQ tests my IQ fluctuates between 136 and 154,
which just goes to show what bollocks they really are.
So, you can arrange 4 arrows to make 5 huh? Big deal...I
bet cave men couldn't work that one out but those hairy
fuckers discovered fire...and all you can do with your
175 IQ is win a game of frigging chess!
64. Ever attend a theme party?
Only if the theme was drunken tramp
65. What's your favourite season?
Oregano
66. Last time you laughed at something stupid?
Virgin Media taking over NTL and completely destroying
it within the space of a month
67. What time did you wake up this morning?
7...I'm a very good boy
68. Best thing about winter?
hunting santa with a spear fashioned out of a matchstick
and a compass point
69. Last time a cop gave you a ticket?
never
70. What's the scariest thing you've ever done?
Page 37 of the karma sutra
71. Do you think pirates are cool or overrated?
What's so cool about sea faring burglars?
72. What are you doing this weekend?
pretending to work
73. Who's your best friend?
I don't have one that stands out
74. What is the third letter of your name?
A
75. How old are your pets?
I've never thought to ask them
76. What colour is your backpack?
black
77. Are you sick?
Is perversity a sickness?
78. Is the bathroom open?
yes
87. Are you smiling?
No.
88. Do you have on eyeliner?
Nope.
89. Do you miss someone right now?
yes
90. If you could go anywhere in the world where would
you go?
2 feet to my left
91. Do you have a Myspace?
yes, it's crap
92. Are you in high school?
nope
93. Do you have a crush?
Not really.
94. What is your favourite nickname for yourself?
Flipper...flipper the priest
95. What colour is your bathing suit?
I prefer to scare/entice the swimmers with my nudity
96. What's your favourite brand of water?
brand? It's fucking water!
97. Did you go on vacation last month?
Nope.
98. Have you ever been on a cruise?
I've been arrested for it many times
99. Do you have a sister?
No.
100. Are you upstairs?
I don't have an upstairs