(Untitled)

[bill_weasley]

( upstairs, this morning )

Bill has taken a table near the back of the bar, away from the bulk of the crowd, and he's writing.

Furiously.

There's an untouched cup of tea at his side, and an equally untouched plate of biscuits and cheese. All his concentration is on the parchment; his writing is an absolute flurry of blue streaking across the

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[speak_nspell]

When Bill looks up from his parchment, he will notice a small toy on the table that wasn't there before. It's facing him.

As if it's watching.

[bill_weasley]

Bill does in fact look up from his parchment to notice a small toy on the table that wasn't there before. He looks at it, looks down, and looks up at it again.

"Hullo, small entertaining item. Can I help you with anything?"

[speak_nspell]

Finally someone that doesn't play stupid human games.

"pLaY wIth mE."

[bill_weasley]

"All right." Drawing out his wand, Bill taps it to one of the biscuits on his plate; it turns into a pair of chess pieces. A knight and a bishop, to be precise.

Quickly, he sketches out a chess board on parchment and turns the remaining biscuits into two each of King and Queen.

"Do you play chess?"

[speak_nspell]

"i WaNt tO sPeLl rIgHT nOw! pLaY, bILl. B-I-l-l.

[bill_weasley]

"No chess then; pity." With a wave of his wand, the chess pieces turn back into biscuits; he breaks one in half and brushes the crumbs aside.

"Tell me your rules for play and I'll play, but first, I'd like to know how you know my name. It's B-I-L-L W-E-A-S-L-E-Y."

[speak_nspell]

"tHeRe cAn bE OnlY oNE hIgHlAndeR!" it answers helpfully.

[bill_weasley]

"Highlander?"

He reaches for the toy. "I hope you don't mind, but this appears to be what I need to do..." He keys in the letters H-I-G-H-L-A-N-D-E-R on Speak N' Spell's keypad, then sets it down and waits.

And hopes that this sentient and highly demanding thing-that-must-be-a-toy is not offended.

[speak_nspell]

"HIgHLanDeR." It pauses for about half a second before it says. "spEll aGaIn."

[bill_weasley]

"All right."

He reaches over and keys in A-G-A-I-N.

[speak_nspell]

"aGaIn," it said. It added, "sMarTasS. yOu tHiNk yOU arE VerY fUnNy, dOn'T yOu, bIlL. B-i-l-L."

[bill_weasley]

"Not particularly. I only did what you asked."

S-M-A-R-T-A-S-S Y-O-U-R-S-E-L-F.

[speak_nspell]

"dOn'T dO tHat, bIlL. i Don'T lIke iT wHEn yoU pLaY sTupID hUmAn gAmeS, BiLl. sPelL!"

[bill_weasley]

"Why," he says quite calmly, "don't you spell the word of your choice for me?"

Sounds fair to him. He sips his tea and eats one of the biscuits, unconcerned.

[speak_nspell]

"sOmEbOdy ShIt oN tHe cOats! C-o-A-t-s, cOAts." A pause. "pLaY wItH mE. oR a tIrE wiLl hIt yOu iN tHE FACE!"

It adds. "ThAt tIrE iSn'T fUcKInG aRoUnD!"

[bill_weasley]

Bill reaches for the item.

A-R-E Y-O-U T-H-R-E-A-T-E-N-I-N-G M-E-? I D-O-N-T L-I-K-E T-H-A-T V-E-R-Y W-E-L-L S-O D-O-N-T F-U-C-K W-I-T-H M-E

That should do. He sets it back down.