(Untitled)

[_tubby_bitch]

*enters the bar, looking around cautiously for any sign of the blonde French girl from the night before; seeing none, he heads for the out of the way booth he and his companion occupied the previous evening*

*slides into the booth, giving his companion a rather stern glare before pulling out a pack of cigarettes and lighting one up*

Comments

[snootchiebootch]

*slides into the booth across from his hetero-life-mate, leaning back into the booth*

*notices the look Silent Bob is giving him and rolls his eyes, huffing loudly*

Don't give me that, Fat Albert.

*pauses a beat, then anticipates the look Silent Bob will give him in return for that*

I SAID, Don't give me that, Fat Albert. *beat* WHat? Okay, Okay. I'm sorry, I wasn't sensitive to your muthafuckin' needs. You're not fat, you're tubby. There's a difference.

*doesn't see a server and gets antsy* *pounds fist on table* Hey, what kind of joint is this, anyway? I demand some muthafuckin' service! I don't see no SIGN about not servin' long-haired freaky people-- *catches Silent Bob's face out of the corner of his eye* *turns to him* Don't even give me that, bitch. You know you're all up in Harry Chapin's shiznit.

[_tubby_bitch]

*sighs, takes a long drag off his cigarette*

[bythebrook]

*And there are suddenly thorns at his throat, bright orange, razor sharp thorns, held by a girl who is grinning an utterly insane grin.*

[the_woodpecker]

*From the other side comes a redheaded maniac, holding wooden matches and a stick of dynamite with a long fuse*

[_tubby_bitch]

*eyes bug out, and he tries to make himself as small as possible in the booth, which admittedly, is not very small*

[snootchiebootch]

WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS?!?!!? *eyes bug out and he grits his teeth, trying to peer up at the girl*

*attempts to be cool* *grins, makes a little 'firing pistol' motion with his hand and clicks his tongue* If you wanted to know if I'm thorny for ya, Fangs, ya could've just asked. Damn.

[bythebrook]

*shoves the thorns up under his chin so that they prick his skin slightly*

Bernard and I are here to teach you some fucking manners, asshole. How would you like to do this?

[the_woodpecker]

Now. *lights a match*

Which one of you is Jay?

[_tubby_bitch]

*points to Jay*

[the_woodpecker]

Thanks. Bob.

*grins* Don't think you're off the hook.

*turns to Jay*

Now. What the fuck did you think you were doing, threatening our girlfriend last night?

[snootchiebootch]

Eeeeeeeeeee!!! *tilts his head back, trying to avoid getting pricked too much*

*twisting in his seat* Who the fuck is Bernard? And who the fuck are you? *notices Bernard* WHAT THE SHIT IS THAT? IS THAT DYNOMITE?

*realizes this is not the way to not get himself blown up and switches gears, grinning and bobbing his head, trying not to wince when he brushes against the thorns* Yeah, that's cool. It's cool. I ain't goin' to deny a brotha the right to bear arms and all that shit. You must be Bernard. I'm Bob. *points at Silent Bob* And that's Jay, a sad sadistic shell of a man. He needs a little light in his life. And, uh, seein' as how you got that match, I think it'd be cool if you shared it with 'im. Sharin' is carin', Twitchy.

[_tubby_bitch]

*shakes his head again furiously and points at Jay, very definitely implying that THAT is Jay and not him*

[snootchiebootch]

*through gritted teeth* Shut it, Dingleberry.

[bythebrook]

*pressing the thorns harder*

Don't. Lie. To. Us.

[snootchiebootch]

*in a high-pitched tone* Lie? Me? I ain't no liar, Fangs! Liar lie lie-- I let sleepin' dogs lie! See, that's how much I don't lie!

[bythebrook]

*pulling the thorns back a centimetre*

*conversationally*

Word on the street is you threatened to rape our girlfriend, last night. We don't take very kindly to rape, here. You have five seconds to convince us not to kill you.