(Untitled)

[i_spoiled_it]

When the door opens for Steph this time she is framed against the background of a busy street in Nairobi, instead of the quiet villages she's been in.  She looks frazzled and tired and sore. And when she looks up and it's the bar, not the hotel lobby she expected, she looks very pleased.

"Finally.  I missed you," she informs the gleaming countertop

Comments

[crabbycustomer]

"I NEED A MOVIE RECOMMENDATION," Karkat says, without pre-amble. The more he talks the more likely he is to wind up paying full price. "SOMETHING WITH A COMPELLING RIVALRY AND A SLOW BUILD-UP. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE VIOLENT BUT IT CAN'T HURT."

"I HAVE HAD ENOUGH SOGGY HUMAN RED ROMANCE BULLSHIT FOR ONE WEEK."

[i_spoiled_it]

Steph peers at him, intrigued and amused.

"... I don't really watch many movies. Um, the Fast and the Furious, maybe?"

[crabbycustomer]

"OKAY WELL THAT TITLE IS PROMISING AT LEAST, WORTH A FUCKING SHOT."

The bar appears a DVD for him. He sighs heavily. "I DON'T KNOW WHY I BOTHER, EARTH TALES OF CALIGNOUS INTENT ARE PRETTY MUCH A HUGE EXERCISE IN BULGEBLOCKERY AND STRANGLED GLOBES, BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW ELSE I'M EVER GOING TO GET A TENUOUS GRIP ON YOUR PINK MONKEY PSYCHOLOGY."

Yeah he was pretty much never going to get those half-price drinks.

[i_spoiled_it]

Steph ... is totally not giggling at him. Totally not.

"Calignous? Wait, are you calling us pink monkeys?"

[crabbycustomer]

"YES AND ALSO YES." He inspects the DVD, ambivalently.

"CALIGNOUS ROMANCE, A ROMANTIC ATTRACTION BASED ON RIVALRY AND EMNITY. I'VE FOUND SOME PRETTY GOOD HUMAN TALES OF ESCALATING FRUSTRATIONS AND ONEUPMANSHIP AND EVEN HATRED, BUT THE ENDINGS ALWAYS GNAW BULGE."

"EITHER IT'S ALL BEEN SOME KIND OF DIM-WITTED FEINT TO OBSCURE FEELINGS OF RED ROMANCE, OR THEY FIND SOME KIND OF INSUFFERABLE COMMON GROUND, OR ONE OF THEM MURDERS THE OTHER JUST WHEN IT'S GETTING GOOD."

[i_spoiled_it]

She nods. It's all very serious.

"I had a boyfriend like that. The ending did, indeed, gnaw bulge."

Er.

"We didn't do any murdering, though. At least, not that he told me about."

[crabbycustomer]

He grimaces. "A TRUE BLACK ROMANCE IS VERY DIFFERENT FROM PLATONIC HATRED OR A FAILED FLUSHED RELATIONSHIP, THOUGH. IT'S SOMEONE WHO OPPOSES YOU AT EVERY TURN AND CHALLENGES YOU, GIVES YOUR STRUGGLES TEXTURE AND MEANING, BECOMES AN OUTLET AND REPOSITORY FOR ALL THE BOILING PAIN AND RAGE OF LIFE AND GIVES YOU THE INDESCRIBLE THRILL OF BEING THOROUGHLY DESPISED THAT CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS BEING IN KISMESIS."

"IT'S SOMEONE WHO IS TOO IMPRESSIVE AND DANGEROUS TO PITY, YET TOO INFURIATING TO ENVY; SOMEONE WHO IS MADDENINGLY WASTING HIS GIFTS BY WORKING AGAINST YOUR OWN PURPOSES. FOR MY SPECIES IT'S ONE OF THE MOST FULFILLING RELATIONSHIPS WE EVER HAVE, WHEN WE FIND IT."

[i_spoiled_it]

Steph listens to this with complete fascination: chin on her hands, elbows on the bar.

"You make it sound really, really good. In a really weird way."

[crabbycustomer]

"YEAH, WELL, I'M A GODDAMN ROMANTIC," he says, in a way that's half-dismissive, half-defensive.

"AND IT IS, ANYWAY, AS PART OF A WELL-ROUNDED SET OF QUADRANTS. AN OUT-OF-CONTROL KISMESIS CAN BE EXTREMELY DESTRUCTIVE OBVIOUSLY BUT IN BALANCE IT'S COMPLETELY NECESSARY FOR OUR SANITY. NOT TO MENTION REPRODUCTION."

[i_spoiled_it]

Steph ... eyes him.

"You ... reproduce with your worst enemy? I gotta say, I'm picturing a Batman-Joker baby and it's ... kind of messing with my mind a little."

[crabbycustomer]

"ALL RIGHT, WELL I DON'T KNOW WHO THOSE PEOPLE ARE, BUT SURE, OUR REPRODUCTIVE CYCLE HAS TWO PARTNERS, A FLUSHED MATESPRIT AND A CALIGNOUS KISMESIS. WE ALSO HAVE TWO NON-REPRODUCTIVE ROMANTIC QUADRANTS."

"I KNOW IT SOUNDS FUCKED UP TO A HUMAN, BUT IMAGINE HOW FUCKED UP YOUR NARROW-BAND ROMANCE SOUNDS TO US. THAT'S WHY I AM STUDYING HUMAN ROMANCE, OR NON-ROMANCE I GUESS IN THIS CASE. I MEAN CLEARLY MY INTERPERSONAL SKILLS ARE FUCKING OUTSTANDING BUT SOMEHOW SOME HUMANS STILL FIND ME TO BE ABRASIVE OR SOME SHIT, SO I'M TRYING TO GET SCHOOLFED."

[i_spoiled_it]

Steph is talking about reproduction. With a ... she's not sure what. But.

Fucking Milliways.

She has all the giggling. "You might do better getting a psychology textbook. Movies aren't really a good guide to what humans are like. Only what they think they want to be like."

[crabbycustomer]

Karkat is not sure how to feel about a female a sweep or two older than him giggling at him. He shifts uncomfortably, his grey complexion coloring slightly.

"YEAH BUT THAT SHIT IS WRITTEN FOR HUMANS TO UNDERSTAND OTHER HUMANS. THE THINGS THEY TAKE FOR GRANTED ARE EXACTLY THE THINGS I AM LOOKING TO MAKE SENSE OUT OF. COMPARING THE KINDS OF STORIES YOU TELL YOURSELVES ABOUT YOURSELVES TO OURS HAS BEEN WORKING ALL RIGHT SO FAR."

"IF NOTHING ELSE I AM LEARNING FASTER WAYS TO EXPLAIN THIS SHIT BY BEING ABLE TO MAKE COMPARISONS TO IDEAS AND STORIES HUMANS DO RECOGNIZE."

[i_spoiled_it]

"What is your species?" Steph asks, intrigued. "If it's not rude. Sorry, is that a rude question? I totally take it back if it is."

But she's fascinated.

[crabbycustomer]

"WHAT? WHAT THE HELL, WHY WOULD THAT BE A RUDE QUESTION, IT IS A PRETTY OBVIOUS THING TO FINALLY GET AROUND TO ASKING."

"I'M A TROLL. MY NAME'S KARKAT VANTAS."

[i_spoiled_it]

Steph shrugs, one-shouldered, with a small laugh. "I don't know. Some people are touchy.

"I'm a human! My name's Stephanie Brown."