(Untitled)

[themanclion]

Gene wanders in, slightly the worse for wear. When Bar presents him with a napkin reminding him, in no uncertain terms, that he has still yet to pay any of his tab, plus there's the bill for that scanner he broke on top of it...well, he knows what's coming.

'Nope.'

Another napkin.

'Not interested.'

There's a pause for thought. And then an iPad appears

Comments

[neapolitan_man]

One stripy mutant, lighting a cigarette as he approaches the bar.

"Man, that one of those things with the zombie radiation Doc Ness has been working on? You couldn't pay me to touch one of those."

[themanclion]

Gene freezes and blinks at the screen, then glances up at the bloke.

...who also gets blinked at.

'...what th' bloody 'ell happened t'your face?'

[neapolitan_man]

"The Skyline City police department," he says, and takes a drag on the cigarette.

"It's not contagious or anything. Can I get a coffee with sambuca?"

[themanclion]

'Only if you don' mind me callin' you a girl,' he says casually, putting the iPad down and straightening up. He's leaning over for the sambuca when he adds, innocuously,

'What'd you do t'piss 'em off, then?'

[neapolitan_man]

"Fucked the mayor's daughter," he says, taking a seat at the bar. "You know how fathers can be; don't want their daughters getting involved with guys from the wrong side of town or whatever."

1964: not so different a time, really.

[themanclion]

'An' for that, they painted your face all differen' colours?'

What kind of faggots are these coppers? It might be a funny punishment but it's not very manly.

Mind you, anyone who orders coffee with sambuca in probably doesn't qualify as a bloke anyway, in Gene's eyes.

[neapolitan_man]

The Skyline City villains (and heroes, for that matter) pretty much all have low opinions of each other's masculinity. At least Tony isn't Squirrel; and anyway, he has the excuse of being Italian. He grew up on sambuca.

"It's not paint," he says. "It's radiation. They don't mess around."

[themanclion]

He pulls back, eyeing him suspiciously.

'You poisonous? 'cos I haven' got me gas mask with me an' I'll be buggered if I'm goin' t'stand here with a bag over me 'ead.'

He was never sure what that was supposed to do to help anyway.

[neapolitan_man]

"Totally safe now," he says. "Was a rough few weeks when I wasn't, though. Glad it's the kind of thing you can only go through once."

If he were ever dosed with radiation again, well, the responsible parties would need to be very, very careful.

[themanclion]

Well then. If he's not contagious, he can get peered at properly.

'I though' if you got radiated, you either vaporised or got cancer or had kids wi' two heads or somethin'. Why'd it come out all stripy like tha'?'

[neapolitan_man]

"Got thrown in a vat of ice cream with some radioactive material," he says. "They didn't expect me to make it. I almost didn't. But my girlfriend, she took care of me--hell, you should see what it did to her, just from being so close to me when I was still radioactive."

It pays to date a former candy-striper.

[themanclion]

'A vat of ice cream,' he says, completely deadpan.

Riiiiight.

'What'd it do to her? Turn her into a 99, withou' the Flake?'

It doesn't occur to him that this reference might not travel. Who doesn't know what a 99 is?

[neapolitan_man]

"Gave her tits as big as your head, and a spine strong enough to hold 'em up," he says, and takes another drag on the cigarette. "But first it made her shed her skin like a snake. I got pictures, if you wanna see 'em."

At least he didn't get laughed at about the ice cream thing this time. Really, if a man has to be a mutant, can't he at least get a more dignified origin story?

[themanclion]

'...tits as big as my head?'

She is, automatically, without question, Gene's dream woman. He's always saying how he'd like to meet a bird like that.

'Pictures of her sheddin' her skin,' lovely, 'or pictures of her tits?'

[neapolitan_man]

Tony grins and fishes a picture out of his wallet.

"Wasn't in much of a state to take pictures, when she was shedding her skin. You know how women are about getting their pictures taken, anyway. They want to look their best."

Edie's best is pretty damn good, if the picture he shows is any indication: a tall redhead with the body of a comic book villainess and the spandex minidress to match, her uniform as Tony's henchwoman Strawberry Girl. (Tony's in the picture too, being leaned on by Edie, but he probably goes unnoticed.)

[themanclion]

Quite frankly, Edie could have a face like a slapped arse; it's not that he's looking at.

'Bloody 'ell.'

He gapes quite openly.

'...you're a brave man. Bloke could get lost forever in them.'