(Untitled)

[bloody_awful]

A bloke walks into

Comments

[killitwith_fire]

"Yeah, that's what most people say."

The commenter is tall, very red-headed (ginger would be a gross understatement), and dressed in head-to-toe black leather. And grinning. Axel likes the way people react to the Window.

[bloody_awful]

John turns to the newcomer, looks him up and down, and says with pure bravado, "I take it this ain't the Roxy."

His voice is heavily accented with what most non-Brits would (erroneously) call "cockney" and Brits would recognize as Liverpool with London on top.

[killitwith_fire]

"Nope. Milliways," Axel replies. "The End Of The Universe," he adds after a moment. He's unfazed by the other man's bravado; he's seen enough of it - used enough of it - himself.

[bloody_awful]

"The end of the universe?" John grins. "Like Hampstead Heath?"

[killitwith_fire]

Axel's grin widens a little.

"Bit further'n that," he replies. "But I think y'can probably figure that out." He nods at the Window, which is... Well, it's clearly not a TV screen, or a monitor of any kind.

[bloody_awful]

John looks at Axel. Looks at the Window. Looks around the bar and sees the ... unusual patrons. With a determined look, he nods. "Right then," and with a wink and a grin, adds, "Fancy a drink, mate?"

[killitwith_fire]

"Sure, as long as you're buying." Ael's grin ticks a little wider, and he gestures over towards the bar.

[bloody_awful]

John laughs. "Aw, you're a quick one. Usually that one works." He shrugs but he's grinning as he pulls out a chair and sits next to Axel. "Name's John. And I'm flat skint."

[killitwith_fire]

"Axel," he replies. "Right, well, y'can run a pretty infinite tab here. But as a show of magnanimous good will, I'll get the first round."

[bloody_awful]

John's face lights up like a child at Christmas. "Infinite tab? Bloody hell, have I died and gone to heaven?"

[killitwith_fire]

"Maybe. There're a lotta dead people here. My usual, and whatever John wants," Axel says tapping the bartop. His 'usual' is something a fiery red to match his hair, and it pops up in a tumbler a couple inches from his fingers.

[bloody_awful]

In front of John appears a pint of Guinness, a shot of Bushmills and an overflowing ashtray. John stares at it, gobsmacked. "Blimey," he whispers, "It is heaven." He looks up at the ceiling and calls out, "Gram of coke and a 28 needle!"

A napkin appears on the bar. John picks it up and reads:

IN YOUR DREAMS, CONSTANTINE.

He drops the napkin like it's on fire.

[killitwith_fire]

"Yeah, she doesn't do drugs, weapons, or anything alive," Axel says, amused. "Nice try though."

[bloody_awful]

John looks from the napkin, to Axel, to the Bar. He stands up and leans over the Bar as if trying to see someone hiding underneath. He looks back at Axel suspiciously. "Who's she, where is she and how does she know my name?" ...and then adds, "And my tipple?"

[killitwith_fire]

"'She' is Bar, she's the bar," Axel explains. "She's generally benevolent, and she's magic. And that's how she knows," he adds.

[bloody_awful]

John's brow wrinkles a bit. "Magic, hey?" He looks closely at the bar. Really closely, like, his nose almost touches it. He runs his fingers over it. He even sniffs it, and touches it with the tip of his tongue.

Frowning, he sits up straight. He places his palm on the bar and mumbles something. Suddenly the whole ashtray bursts into flames and tips over into his lap.

"Jeezus!" he yelps and leaps to his feet, swatting at his smoldering crotch.

Evidently, that's not what was supposed to happen.