The bar has made a terrible mistake
A grey, horned, thirteen year old alien climbs up on the bartop.
"ATTENTION DEGENERATE HUMAN MOUTHBREATHERS AND ASSOCIATED NONHUMAN BAR HANGERS ON LOUNGING AROUND THE VICINITY. I AM NOW YOUR LEADER, IN THE ADMITTEDLY LIMITED SENSE THAT I AM IN CHARGE OF DISPENSING THE LIQUID REFRESHMENT YOU ALL CRAVE. I WILL BE A WRATHFUL AND MERCILESS ALCOHOLIC GOD. YOU WILL ALL ASSEMBLE IN AN ORDERLY FASHION AND YOU WILL GET WHAT YOU GET. REQUESTS WILL BE BENEFICIENTLY CONSIDERED BUT THERE WILL BE NO APPEALS."
In other words, you are limited to what he knows how to make.
"IN ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF MY INFINITE MAGNANIMITY AND IN A FOOLISH, HOPELESS ANTICIPATION THAT YOU MAY COOPERATE, I HAVE ASSEMBLED A FEW RECOMMENDATIONS FOR YOU TO CONSIDER TO STREAMLINE AND SIMPLIFY EVERYONE'S EXPERIENCE. I FULLY EXPECT YOU ALL TO IGNORE ALL INSTRUCTIONS AND SPLIT MY BULGE ALL NIGHT LONG, SO DON'T THINK YOU'RE ON TO ANYTHING NEW BY BEING A STUPID ASSHOLE."
He finds some grey chalk.
FUCK YOU
SHUT THE HELL UP
DIRTY BASTARD
"RELATIONSHIP ADVICE IS ALSO AVAILABLE AS A FREE SERVICE OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF MY VESTIGIAL ALTRUISM NODE."
This should go well.
"ATTENTION DEGENERATE HUMAN MOUTHBREATHERS AND ASSOCIATED NONHUMAN BAR HANGERS ON LOUNGING AROUND THE VICINITY. I AM NOW YOUR LEADER, IN THE ADMITTEDLY LIMITED SENSE THAT I AM IN CHARGE OF DISPENSING THE LIQUID REFRESHMENT YOU ALL CRAVE. I WILL BE A WRATHFUL AND MERCILESS ALCOHOLIC GOD. YOU WILL ALL ASSEMBLE IN AN ORDERLY FASHION AND YOU WILL GET WHAT YOU GET. REQUESTS WILL BE BENEFICIENTLY CONSIDERED BUT THERE WILL BE NO APPEALS."
In other words, you are limited to what he knows how to make.
"IN ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF MY INFINITE MAGNANIMITY AND IN A FOOLISH, HOPELESS ANTICIPATION THAT YOU MAY COOPERATE, I HAVE ASSEMBLED A FEW RECOMMENDATIONS FOR YOU TO CONSIDER TO STREAMLINE AND SIMPLIFY EVERYONE'S EXPERIENCE. I FULLY EXPECT YOU ALL TO IGNORE ALL INSTRUCTIONS AND SPLIT MY BULGE ALL NIGHT LONG, SO DON'T THINK YOU'RE ON TO ANYTHING NEW BY BEING A STUPID ASSHOLE."
He finds some grey chalk.
FUCK YOU
SHUT THE HELL UP
DIRTY BASTARD
"RELATIONSHIP ADVICE IS ALSO AVAILABLE AS A FREE SERVICE OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF MY VESTIGIAL ALTRUISM NODE."
This should go well.