Dual EP!

[srspirate]

There is a raucous ruckus. A HORRIBLE crash. A scuffling, a clashing, a scraping and grunting. There is....

Music? Lots of music! And two men, laughing and jeering.

"Pustular abscess!"

"French dog!"

"Have AT you!"

They couldn't possibly still be at this, could they

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[agloriousthing]

"I have you!"

The Pirate King shouts as he leaps from a table towards Porthos.

[srspirate]

"Hardly!"

For a portly Frenchman, he can tuck and roll quite superbly.

"Ha HA!"

Beware the grappling hook, so-called Pirate King!

[agloriousthing]

The grappling hook is dodged as the Pirate King leaps over Porthos to swing on something and lunge once more.

[srspirate]

"You have not the mettle to best me!"

Porthos is on his feet in an instant, imitating what might best be likened to an Irish step dance as he swings his sword.

[agloriousthing]

The music dances around them as the Pirate King leaps to land on a chair and move towards Porthos,

"You think too well of yourself, French fool!"

[srspirate]

It is a curious thing, how the music seems to clash the closer they come.

Brash trumpets announce Porthos' lack of amusement!

"I am Porthos the Pirate! Feared on every sea! Loved by every lady! Honored by every King!"

He makes a grand diagonal slash.

"And you are an imposter, says I!"

[agloriousthing]

"I am the Pirate King!"

The music crescendos to meet the trumpets with flourishes to spare as the Pirate King moves to parry Porthos.

[srspirate]

Porthos is momentarily distracted by the grand cacophony.

"With no proof to your credentials!"

Porthos' sword clashes with his, and he reaches for a wine bottle.

"Too bad; it is a good year," he laments, as he swings for the Pirate King's head.

[agloriousthing]

"I need no credentials, I simply am,"

As the bottle hits his head, the Pirate King looks confused as the music quiets for a moment.

[srspirate]

"A king so easily bested?!" laughs Porthos.

...Wait. That worked?

[agloriousthing]

Not for long, the Pirate King regains his footing and with a great, "Ha!"

leaps for Porthos.

[srspirate]

"BZWUH?"

Porthos flails and falls through a table.

[agloriousthing]

"I have you, Frenchie!"

The Pirate King stands above Porthos with a smirk.

[srspirate]

"Do you, now?!"

[agloriousthing]

"I do, yield!"

His sword rests at Porthos' throat.

[srspirate]

"Never!"

The Pirate King has failed to leave due attention where it ought to be -- on his opponent's belt!

Porthos looses his bolas, and in a moment of improvisation (from Porthos the Pirate? Never!) quickly entangles his feet.