(Untitled)

[neapolitan_man]

It's that time again.

The mutant President of the United States is seated at a table, singing along to the jukebox and drawing the label designs for his spring collection of ice creams. (He's actually a good artist; all those years of prison art class have served him well.)

On the table is a sign:
Free Ice Cream Samples:
Graceland

Comments

[spandexed_edie]

Oh, that label and ice cream gets Tony a big smooch from his wife. A big smooch.

"What kinda ice cream is it, baby?" she asks, as she settles on his lap, with an arm around his neck.

[neapolitan_man]

Having her on his lap makes it a bit hard for him to keep drawing, but hey, he's not complaining about that. She gets a smooch in return.

"Peanut butter and banana, of course," he says with a grin. "Ev's Banana Nutkin as a base, and--you know, I bet he'd love this too. I left out the bacon. Maybe the next go-round."

[spandexed_edie]

"I'm glad you left out the bacon. It doesn't go as well with the ice cream. Remember the breakfast ice cream in '93?"

Oh, drawing. How it can wait...

[neapolitan_man]

"The French toast part of that was good," he says, "but the bacon, I will grant you, not so much. You wanna try a dish?"

[spandexed_edie]

He gets another kiss pressed to his forehead. "Of course I do, pet. It looks good."

Almost as good as Tony. Now she's imagining things that should only happen in the privacy of their own home.

[neapolitan_man]

Did the narration mention that the ice cream is pink? Because it is. Very, very pink.

"You're gonna love it. I think I got the proportions just right--it took literally months of secret work. At least I think it was secret."

[spandexed_edie]

Edie likes pink. Likes it a lot.

"Was a secret from me, baby," she scoops herself out a bowl, and takes a quick bite.

[neapolitan_man]

Soft, creamy peanut butter and banana ice cream. The perfect consistency, the perfect balance of flavors. Elvis would be proud.

"I wanted it to be a surprise," he says, watching her face for her reaction.

[spandexed_edie]

Oh, now that is some good ice cream. The way her eyes close and licks the bit of ice cream off her lips should give him a very good idea of how good it is.

"That...Tony, you did a fantastic job with that."

[neapolitan_man]

"Mmmm."

He is pleased. He even steals a bit of a kiss.

"You're my most important critic, baby. You know that."

[spandexed_edie]

A bit of a kiss? Here Tony, have a snog.

"You're my most important everything."

[neapolitan_man]

Oooh. Here, Edie, have one in return.

"I guess that makes it okay that I stole your underwear, huh."

[spandexed_edie]

Oooh! Yay, snogs! Edie loves snogs.

"When did you steal them, and which pair?"

Because that's ver important.

[neapolitan_man]

"The purple ones with the dangly star spangles," he says. "A few days ago? It just seemed like the thing to do. I left you a pair of mine in their place, though."

[spandexed_edie]

He gets a grin from his wife. "I knew you'd like those, baby. What did you do with them?"

He always finds the most inventive uses for her underthings...

[neapolitan_man]

"Shellacked 'em to my new bass," he says. "Did I tell you I got a new bass? It was just begging to be adorned. And now it is. And I can play it like I'm playin' you, baby."