(Untitled)

[gone_byebye]

SUDDENLY, BANANAS! ... thousands of them!

No, seriously. They're pouring in through the door. Just- thousands of bananas, piling up in a huge yellow heap that at least promises to block the flow of even more bananas... at least until the heap starts moving and scatters more of the bananas in all directions.

For what it's worth, that's the fault

Comments

[pickyourmoments]

"Uhm."

For a long while, Chandler can't come up with anything to say. He just stands by and watches in shock as the bananas pour in through the door.

"Problems?" he asks the strange man, watching as he pulls himself out of the pile.

[gone_byebye]

"All in a day's work, my good sir, all in a day's work." Ray's managed to manhandle the shopping cart over to the banana pile, so it's time to start shoveling the damn things up. At least they'll make good barter. "Watch where you step, by the way. Banana peels aren't actually slippery until they've had a few days to go brown, but stepping on unexpected fruit is still generally an unwelcome experience, as I'm sure any Korean grocery owner could tell you."

[pickyourmoments]

Chandler wonders if this is what people mean by Fucking Milliways.

Still, he steps forwards and starts helping get the bananas into the shopping cart.

"What are you, a zoo keeper?"

He feels like he's going to regret this question.

[gone_byebye]

"No, that would be entirely too easy," says Ray as he sets to work with the shovel in earnest. "I'm a Ghostbuster. We do paranormal investigation, elimination and defense for Brooklyn, Queens, Staten Island, the southern half of Manhattan, and the northern New Jersey area."

It's not his entire job description by a long shot, but right now? Bananas.

[pickyourmoments]

"But not Northern Manhattan?" Chandler asks. "What, everything just stops at 72d?"

[gone_byebye]

"No, the Harlem Hellfighters unit on 104th handles north Manhattan and the Bronx," says Ray. "If splitting the island between two units is good enough for the NYPD, it's good enough for us."

[pickyourmoments]

"Of course."

He hasn't run screaming, yet. That's a good thing.

Then again, there are bananas in the way of the door.

"And what... year are you from, that New York needs these Hellfighters?"

[gone_byebye]

"Right now? January of 2010," Ray says. "Although we added the Hellfighters unit back in 2008."

[pickyourmoments]

"So, I should just move off the island in a few years, or what?"

With any luck, there's a different timeline going, but Chandler's not sure he wants to take that chance.

"I hear the Southwest is nice."

[gone_byebye]

"I wouldn't recommend anywhere in the vicinity of either Taos or Galveston, but to the best of my knowledge the rest of the Southwest should be just about as stable as anywhere on Earth could be," Ray says. "Figuratively speaking, of course, I can't vouch for the plate tectonics. Assuming that you and I even share a common continuum, which of course isn't necessarily the case, things don't start getting properly hairy in the New York metropolitan area until 2002 or 2003. And even then the epicenter of it all is the building at 66 Central Park West."

[pickyourmoments]

"I take it that by 'hairy' you don't mean in a 'peace, love, and casual sex' sort of way."

Chandler did once break up with a girl because she didn't shave her legs, but at least hippies aren't usually the sort to start riots.

[gone_byebye]

"No, I'm pretty sure I would've remembered that," says Ray. "In all honesty, 'slimy' is probably a more accurate descriptor." He pauses in his banana-shoveling to think for a moment. "On a completely separate note, and one that has nothing to do with the existence of the Ghostbusters at all, I strongly suggest you avoid the twin towers of the World Trade Center during the month of September, 2001. I have yet to encounter anyone here who's from a universe where bad things didn't happen at that site during that month."

[pickyourmoments]

This mun has one pup where that didn't happen, but Chandler doesn't know Tim, either.

Chandler gives Ray a cautious look.

"Isn't that cheating?" he asks. "Won't that, like... change history or something?"

He tosses a few bananas into the cart.

"And moreover, do I even want to know what these 'bad things' are?"

[gone_byebye]

"Only if you were going to be there in the first place, and only if you believe the strange man who's been accompanied into the bar by thousands of bananas and claims to work with the paranormal," Ray says quite reasonably. "And only if you actually remember it. I mean, I don't know about you, but I have trouble remembering what someone said to me in passing a couple of days after the fact, let alone however long you might have ahead of you. As for what, no, you probably don't."

[pickyourmoments]

"I'll make a note on my calendar," he says. "That's almost a full decade away."

He tosses more bananas into the cart.

"Whatever it is, I'll take your word for it on the 'bad' factor."

[gone_byebye]

"It's New York. The most I can say is that I have yet to hear of it being a kaiju assault, but that doesn't necessarily rule out anything."

It occurs to him that he's been a bit rude; he shifts the shovel to his left hand and holds out his right for the shaking.

"Ray Stantz. Pleased to meet you."