(Untitled)

[gone_byebye]

"Bar," says Ray as he walks in, "I really hate doing this, but the library at the Firehouse is more than a little bit specialized and I'm currently persona non grata at the New York Public Library's main branch. By any chance could you recommend a book on negotiation for me, and possibly a really good biography of Andrew Jackson? Specifically the

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[bigblacknose]

Snoopy looks up from his latest root beer (Dog n Suds).

Dr. Stantz! How goes the zombie chase?

[gone_byebye]

"Hey there," says Ray, looking up and offering a wave. "Good to see you again, Major. We've actually got a current location on most of the restless dead- that's part of why I'm here now." He indicates the recommended books. "Mind if I join you before I explain this?"

[bigblacknose]

The Flying Ace indicates the next barstool over, and offers Ray a mug.

Extra-super-sweet root beer, from an Illinois restaurant chain.

[gone_byebye]

"Remind me never to leave this anywhere that Slimer can get at it," Ray murmurs after a sample. "It'd be up there with the time he found the caffeinated root beer. Good stuff, though. How've you been?"

[bigblacknose]

He's been well, just hanging around and de-stressing.

Back to the war tomorrow, he thinks. We'll see if the Red Baron can outfox this beagle when he's back on his game. Or something like that.

[gone_byebye]

"Eminently sensible of you," Ray says. "Once we've run the currency zombies to ground and broken their leader's grip on the physical I may have to do something similar myself."

[bigblacknose]

Ah, so his theory paid off? So to speak.

There's got to be a hilarious story behind that.

[gone_byebye]

"It turned out to be something of a misstep on the part of an old enemy of ours," Ray says. "A man named Ivan von Stabbington, who'd raised a zombie a few years ago as part of his plan to do something really nasty involving the Empire State Building, just got out of prison on parole recently. He'd originally cast a massive arcane ritual in an attempt to draw money to himself, so that he'd be able to fund a revenge scheme against us for getting him put in jail. It kind of went wrong, though."

[bigblacknose]

...he drew the zombies to himself instead?

It may or may not be a good thing there's a law about only putting dead people on money. Probably also good that he didn't try the ritual on stamps.

[gone_byebye]

Ray nods. "Instead of attracting the pictures of the people on the money," he says, "he attracted the people themselves. And it gets worse; the American twenty dollar bill is the most commonly used paper currency on Earth. The amount of symbolic feedback there was just incredible. He inadvertently channeled enough paranormal energy into his summoning that he didn't just get the undead walking corpse of Andrew Jackson; President Jackson himself showed up. And he's in a bad mood."

[bigblacknose]

The thought of an intelligent zombie Old Hickory is... a wee bit daunting. Is he under von Stabbington's control, or running around loose?

...Given the man's temperament and certain aspects of his political record, Major Hill can't quite decide which would be the worse option.

[gone_byebye]

"That would be where we come in now. He's grumpy," Ray says. "Grumpy to the point of essentially wresting control of the other zombies away from von Stabbington. Apparently Ivan's essentially under zombie house arrest until he does something Jackson has in mind, I'm not sure what. He managed to get a message out to the local police before the phone lines got torn to bits."

[bigblacknose]

Are there any national banks left to destroy? Or maybe he wants to do away with the Electoral College?

Too bad it wasn't Zombie Lincoln in charge. That seems like it'd have a better chance of ending well.

[gone_byebye]

"The possibility of the Federal Reserve being his eventual target has arisen," Ray allows. "On the other hand there's a lot of other areas he may be grumpy about. I can't imagine he's very happy about the current President being an elderly woman, either."

[bigblacknose]

If the beagle recalls correctly, Jackson had dying words to the effect that the only regrets he had in life were that he didn't hang Calhoun and shoot Clay.

Possibly achievable with a necromancer under his thumb...

[gone_byebye]

"And that would be why I had to ask the Bar for a volume on the life of President Jackson," Ray admits. "American history wasn't exactly my subject of primary interest in school. Thank you, Major, I didn't even realize that was a possibility."