(Untitled)

[lasthalfmile]

Dan has just come downstairs, to find that it has been quite some time since he was last down here. Months, in fact. To say that he is not thrilled with this news is putting it mildly, but he really can't complain too much, since he's dead and all. Time is bound to get strange in a place where strange times are commonplace

Comments

[srspirate]

Crrrreeeeaaaaaaak

This is the sound one French pirate makes when, leather-gloved-hands gripping the edge of the Bar, he leans far, far back on his stool.

He appraises the softly snorting pig from beneath a ridged brow, lips pulled down in deep, serious contemplation.

"Did you bring your own meat tonight, my friend?"

[lasthalfmile]

"He's a pet," Dan replies, shaking his head. "I doubt he'd be much for eatin' anyway, fat as he is."

Bogart snorts in agreement.

Or disagreement.

We're not sure which.

[srspirate]

"A what now?"

It's a pig.

What else do you do with pigs but cook them?

[lasthalfmile]

"Pet. Companion, type. Like...a dog or a cat, 'cept he's a pig."

Bogart continues to happily munch at the apples, oblivious to any discussion of his purpose in life.

[srspirate]

"But he is a pig, as you have yourself pointed out," says Porthos, as if this is reasoning enough to prove that Dan is very, very delusional.

Pig = bacon.

Obviously.

[lasthalfmile]

"If I wanted an eatin' pig, I wouldn't have gotten one so fat."

The pig has wrinkles.

Fatty bacon is not really tasty bacon.

Obviously.

[srspirate]

"I am no farmer, but isn't 'fat' good?"

If he were closer, he probably would have poked the pig to accentuate his point.

"Skinny pigs offer less meat."

[lasthalfmile]

"Fat's good, but you want muscle, too."

Bogart doesn't look like he could lift very much weight - besides his own.

[srspirate]

"Doesn't the muscle make the meat tough?"

[lasthalfmile]

"Meat is the muscle," he explains. "Like...you ever had veal?"

[srspirate]

"Of course!"

What does he look like, a pauper?!

[lasthalfmile]

"Veal's a calf that don't git much use outta the muscle, so it's real tender."

[srspirate]

Ah haaaa!

"So you want your animals lazy, but not fat?"

Porthos is intrigued, really.

[lasthalfmile]

"If you want them tender, then you don't want 'em to have to do much walkin' to find their food. If you have 'em muscled without much fat on 'em, then they won't be good for eatin'. You gotta find a good combination of the two. Grow 'em right and then finish 'em proper with good feed."

Funny, how things like this come back to him without hesitation.

[srspirate]

"You, sir, are a farmer."

Which would make Porthos a genius.

[lasthalfmile]

Dan actually smiles.

"Used to be."