(Untitled)

[notpuny]

What's blue and red and white all over?

That would be Spider-Man swinging into the bar, crashing into a table, and getting tangled up in his own webbing.

"Oboy."

This was supposed to be Broadway.

"...I think I got a splinter the size of Jersey in my butt..."

[tags: peter parker/spider-man, ben grimm/thing ]

Comments

[7twistedwishes]

"Are you well?" The woman in a black business suit moves over.

Spidey sense could be tingling a bit: the Devil is inherently dangerous, even if (right now) she does not intend to cause him harm.

Just a bored Lucifer curious about the entrance.

[notpuny]

"Aaabsolutely fine and dandy, just, you know ... a little tied up."

Peter frees himself with a little applied spider strength, though the webbing still sticks to his costume. He frowns and tries to shake it off. No dice.

(There are bits of wood attached in some places.)

He eyes the woman warily from under the mask. He can tell she's more dangerous than your average businesswoman, but the spider sense isn't spiking -- just keeping to that same low-level buzz. He shrugs it off.

[7twistedwishes]

"I see... that is good."

"The 'fine' part." The woman laughs softly, trying to help pick of bits of wood. "Welcome to Milliways, the Bar at the End of the Universe. You just slipped past a crack in Reality and landed here."

No, she does not believe in going slow, and also gestures to the Observation Window to lend credence to her words.

[notpuny]

"Don't worry about it, it'll dissolve in about an hour. I'll just be the Amazing Wood Man for a while..."

He squints at the Window, taking in her words.

"Awww crap. Did I ignore Doc Strange's instructions again? I have got to start listening to that man when he's trying to help me not get lost in reality."

[7twistedwishes]

"Oh, there are many other much worse places to get lost at. Milliways is a rather enjoyable place." She offers a hand to him. "I am The Devil, by the way."

[notpuny]

"No kidding. At least it's not New Jersey."

He squints briefly, trying to judge whether she's crazy or egotistical or both, but shakes her hand after a second anyway.

"Spider-Man. Gotta say, digging the whole lack of horns and pitchfork."

[7twistedwishes]

"Thank you, but that was never my real image... just something made up to fit the whole 'source of all evil' thing." She laughs briefly, looking him over. "If you are not in a hurry, would you like a drink? I have not seen many humans in costume, and your entrance alone makes you interesting..."

[notpuny]

"Wait, lemme guess -- the Bugle did it. That's almost surprising, you'd think they'd be your number one fan. Guess Jonah isn't as predictable as he looks."

He doesn't believe her, not even a little bit. He assumes she's a crazy woman, maybe with some powers (hence the buzzing spider sense).

Still, doesn't hurt to humour the crazies before they go all supervillain on your ass.

"Hey, I wouldn't turn down a cup of coffee. It's not going to cost me my soul, is it?"

[7twistedwishes]

"Bugle... I am guessing a newspaper? Not from San Francisco, I imagine." She reaches for Spidey's hand, tugging him over to the Bar. "Oh, no, just a cup of coffee. If you do want to trade your soul, we can negotiate it later."

[notpuny]

"New York, New York," he answers in a slightly mocking sing-song voice.

He loves the city really. Really.

He takes her hand warily and lets go once they're at the Bar, where he peers over to check the bartender isn't just short.

"Uh, nope, I'm pretty attached to my soul, but ... seriously, where's this coffee coming from?"

[7twistedwishes]

She nods, placing a hand on the counter. "Bar honey? Coffee for two, please, you know how I like mine." Big mug, cream, sugar, it just materializes.

"How you prefer yours?"

[notpuny]

"--real and not made of magic."

He stares at the coffee. He is rather wide-eyed, though this may not be obvious.

"...also, black. Lots of sugar."

When it appears, he leans down close to study it. Hmmmm.

[7twistedwishes]

The Devil is, of course, amused. "The Bar is magical... sentient, actually. But the food is cooked in the kitchen. Does it count as magical when one of the cooks is a faun?"

[notpuny]

He pokes the mug carefully; satisfied that it's real and solid to the touch, he picks it up.

"Dude, that makes it Lord of the Rings food or something. Gives it nerd credibility. ... Wait. I'm leaning on an alien lifeform?"

[7twistedwishes]

"Oh, no... the bar is a bar, just there is an intelligence working behind it. Like... an artificial intelligence? A possessing spirit?" The Devil pats the polished wooden surface. "Bar is Bar. It is polite to introduce yourself."

[notpuny]

"Ooh, it's like the Vision's cousin or something, huh?"

He straightens a little and holds out his hand to Bar.

"Good to meet you, Bar. I'm Spider-Man. ... Guessin' you don't do the hand-shaking thing much."