(Untitled)

[acts_of_gord]

There's a headcrab in the Bar. A goddamn headcrab. And apparently the rules, such as they are, protect the stinking parasite.

This place is insane.Unfortunately, there's nobody to petition for revocation of the rules in favor of a couple of minutes' worth of sanity, so Gordon pretty much has to fume in silence over the thing's arrival.

Comments

[there_is_a_me]

Spoon and Axel have been (in handwave) going out to get all the materials needed for a body-suit for Penny that won't rip, tear, stain, etc. Something rather like the Org XIII coat that is now Spoon's default hunting jacket (it goes on over the armor, and thanks to the magics in it won't rip if he changes form).

This background is needed to explain why the werewolf is stomping by with a quantity of his own blood on his face and hands (the coat absorbed the rest), a bag full of glittery little...somethings...and the not-so-quiet mutter of "Fuckin' headless zombie dinosaurs."

[acts_of_gord]

Blink. Blink. Gordon puts the spring-loaded dart gun aside.

"Come again?"

[there_is_a_me]

"Headless zombie dinosaurs." Spoon says again, grimacing, "Well. Headless zombie dinosaur Heartless. Fuckin' things just won't fuckin' die and the fuckin' monkeys on their fuckin' backs are fuckin' invulnerable until they stop fuckin' glowing blue..."

[acts_of_gord]

Sometimes, there really aren't any words. There just aren't.

Gordon will nod, though, albeit a little slowly.

[there_is_a_me]

"I'm trying to get me older girl a fuckin' body-suit." Spoon explains, "Fuckin' munny is worthless to the Moogles, but the fuckin' crystals that the fuckin' fuckin' dinosaurs drop are needed to make the magic. I want a fuckin' fag, but I've quit."

[acts_of_gord]

Gordon's only young relative is maybe a couple of months old, tops. Plus, it was 2001 when he last saw a calendar. Certain words aren't ringing any linguistic bells.

"Moogles being...?"

[there_is_a_me]

"Little floating fuzzy things with red pom-poms on their head." Spoon says promptly, "They make things if you give them the right interesting things to make things from. Might be a religious thing, I don't know. Just know that it's a bloody pain in the fuckin' arse to get as much as I need for Penny." Then, after a bit of time to think, "Danger is sorta nice, though."

[acts_of_gord]

"Uh huh." Gordon considers this for a bit. "So not from Earth, then."

[there_is_a_me]

"Nah." Spoon says, "Axel's world...s...universe. Axel's universe. Made me coat, here, and Axel's."

[acts_of_gord]

"Okay," says Gordon. Because if that's the case, then sure. Headless dinosaurs and glowing monkeys. Why not. It's not as if three legged striped dogs shaped like hams with eyes on one end and sonic blast attacks make any sense by Earth standards, either. "Where do the monkeys come into it?"

[there_is_a_me]

"Riding the fuckin' dinosaurs." Spoon says helplessly, "Although there are also ones in another of the worlds there that fuckin' throw bannana peels and fuckin' dance around."

[acts_of_gord]

"... maybe I shouldn't ask any more questions," Gordon says. "Can I get you a beer?"

[there_is_a_me]

"Beer is good." Spoon agrees, "Axel's world is bloody weird. Worst part about the fuckin' dinosaurs? You get put into a fuckin' world-appropriate body...I'm a fuckin' wild dog there. Ever tried to kill a fuckin' dinosaur without thumbs? Or decent teeth?"

He's done it before. But, y'know, there's a difference between chewing your way out of somethings neck and hanging from it.

[acts_of_gord]

Gordon signals the animatrons to bring him something decently Austrian. Then he looks back to Spoon. "Not a lot of experience with trying to kill dinosaurs, period," he says. "Giant fish-monster, maybe, but I had a crossbow for that."

[there_is_a_me]

"...I did a space-whale once." Spoon offers, "Trying to figure out how to get the teeth back. Head is too big." Far, far far far far too big. "How'd you get into the fish-monster business?"

[acts_of_gord]

"It wasn't my idea. I was trying to get from one end of the place where I worked to the other, and at one point the only viable path went through a flooded area that had an alien fish monster in it." Gordon shakes his head. "Nearly got bitten in half."