(no subject)
So there was an armless athlete eating marshmallows in a booth.
This would have been fairly unremarkable considering the nature of the restaurant at the end of the universe. To a couple of people present, however, he's quite the opposite of that.
Over at the bar proper, there is a businessman holding a cigar. Or at least, he was holding a cigar before he dropped both it and his jaw at the sight of the white thing in the propeller cap. He stands up, points an accusing finger, and shouts, "You!"
This outburst causes a young lady to look up from her cup of tea a couple of tables nearby. She sets her tea down when she sees the man who spoke and then stands to see who he was addressing. Her eyes go wide and now it's her turn to cry out, though quieter than the man in the suit. "It's you! Both of you!"
Homestar looks at both of them and goes, "I'm afraid so, but isn't it nice?"
Farley looks at the woman, confused by her statement, and asks, "Me?" while pointing to himself.
Mia comes closer to the two while saying, "There has to be an explanation."
"It was a dream, just like this has to be for whatever the hell this thing is to be here," Farley replies, pointing to Homestar.
"A dream?" Homestar asks. "Are we having a jammy party?"
"Eat your marshmallows, Homestar," Mia says in the kind way parents do when they want to change the subject with their children. She sits in the booth next to her friend-of-a-friend, leaving the empty side for Farley if he wishes to take it, but he doesn't sit down yet.
"I don't know who either of you are," Farley says, acquiring another cigar from Bar and patting himself for a lighter.
"Here, I'll get that for you," Mia kindly says and lights the end of it for him. With her thumb.
That gets him quietly puffing, wide eyed and waiting for explanation.
"I'm not sure how," Mia tells him, "But I accidentally absconded with your body on April First. In the same way, Homestar here had taken mine, and, seeing as Homestar's body is the only one left, I'm guessing you were stuck in his."
"If by stuck you mean stuck in a living nightmare, you've got that right," Farley grimly says around his cigar.
"Great April Fool's Day joke, though!" Homestar says, stacking a few marshmallows before offering some to each of them. He produces some skewers and asks Mia, "Can you do that trick again like you did with his smok'ems?"
Mia puts an ice shield on the table to protect it and sits a fire on top, which both Homestar and herself use to roast their marshmallows.
"April Fool's Day?" she asks.
"Just some kids' holiday," Farley dismisses warily, growing more and more ill at ease.
"But The Bar sure knows how to do it!" Homestar gleefully replies.
"It does sound like something she would do," Mia admits.
And now full shock has hit Farley, and he finally asks, "Who in the world are you two anyway?!"
"I'm the Homestar Runner! Some folks say I'm a terrific athlete!"
"Mia Ausa, the Guildmaster of Vane. And you, sir?"
His lazy eye twitches.
"Trust me, lack of introduction isn't going to make things more normal," Mia tells him.
He scowls a bit, leans against the empty side of the booth, and says, "Farley Flavors."
"Farley Flavors?"
"Does that mean he tastes good?"
"Well, if people are what they eat, then he tastes like cigars and scotch."
"So no then."
Mia giggles and says, "Homestar, that isn't nice."
Farley glowers.
So these three strange patrons are currently sharing a booth.
Homestar Runner is sitting in one side, roasting marshmallows and making s'mores.
Mia Ausa is sitting next to him, learning about the wonder of s'mores and making sure the fire she provided for roasting doesn't go out of control or burn out.
Farley Flavors is leaning against the other side, pointedly facing perpendicular to the other two, smoking his cigar.
Any of them would be happy to chat.
And there's a two out of three chance you'll get s'mores out of the deal!
This would have been fairly unremarkable considering the nature of the restaurant at the end of the universe. To a couple of people present, however, he's quite the opposite of that.
Over at the bar proper, there is a businessman holding a cigar. Or at least, he was holding a cigar before he dropped both it and his jaw at the sight of the white thing in the propeller cap. He stands up, points an accusing finger, and shouts, "You!"
This outburst causes a young lady to look up from her cup of tea a couple of tables nearby. She sets her tea down when she sees the man who spoke and then stands to see who he was addressing. Her eyes go wide and now it's her turn to cry out, though quieter than the man in the suit. "It's you! Both of you!"
Homestar looks at both of them and goes, "I'm afraid so, but isn't it nice?"
Farley looks at the woman, confused by her statement, and asks, "Me?" while pointing to himself.
Mia comes closer to the two while saying, "There has to be an explanation."
"It was a dream, just like this has to be for whatever the hell this thing is to be here," Farley replies, pointing to Homestar.
"A dream?" Homestar asks. "Are we having a jammy party?"
"Eat your marshmallows, Homestar," Mia says in the kind way parents do when they want to change the subject with their children. She sits in the booth next to her friend-of-a-friend, leaving the empty side for Farley if he wishes to take it, but he doesn't sit down yet.
"I don't know who either of you are," Farley says, acquiring another cigar from Bar and patting himself for a lighter.
"Here, I'll get that for you," Mia kindly says and lights the end of it for him. With her thumb.
That gets him quietly puffing, wide eyed and waiting for explanation.
"I'm not sure how," Mia tells him, "But I accidentally absconded with your body on April First. In the same way, Homestar here had taken mine, and, seeing as Homestar's body is the only one left, I'm guessing you were stuck in his."
"If by stuck you mean stuck in a living nightmare, you've got that right," Farley grimly says around his cigar.
"Great April Fool's Day joke, though!" Homestar says, stacking a few marshmallows before offering some to each of them. He produces some skewers and asks Mia, "Can you do that trick again like you did with his smok'ems?"
Mia puts an ice shield on the table to protect it and sits a fire on top, which both Homestar and herself use to roast their marshmallows.
"April Fool's Day?" she asks.
"Just some kids' holiday," Farley dismisses warily, growing more and more ill at ease.
"But The Bar sure knows how to do it!" Homestar gleefully replies.
"It does sound like something she would do," Mia admits.
And now full shock has hit Farley, and he finally asks, "Who in the world are you two anyway?!"
"I'm the Homestar Runner! Some folks say I'm a terrific athlete!"
"Mia Ausa, the Guildmaster of Vane. And you, sir?"
His lazy eye twitches.
"Trust me, lack of introduction isn't going to make things more normal," Mia tells him.
He scowls a bit, leans against the empty side of the booth, and says, "Farley Flavors."
"Farley Flavors?"
"Does that mean he tastes good?"
"Well, if people are what they eat, then he tastes like cigars and scotch."
"So no then."
Mia giggles and says, "Homestar, that isn't nice."
Farley glowers.
So these three strange patrons are currently sharing a booth.
Homestar Runner is sitting in one side, roasting marshmallows and making s'mores.
Mia Ausa is sitting next to him, learning about the wonder of s'mores and making sure the fire she provided for roasting doesn't go out of control or burn out.
Farley Flavors is leaning against the other side, pointedly facing perpendicular to the other two, smoking his cigar.
Any of them would be happy to chat.
And there's a two out of three chance you'll get s'mores out of the deal!