(Untitled)

[regtuesdaysuit]

Okay, just because he is important and influential, Josh does not want to know about your mindless trivia. This goes for the President telling him about every national park in the United States, and this certainly goes for Donna reading him factoids about what life was like a hundred years ago. It does not matter. Josh has to get a new Chairman of

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[agloriousthing]

At about the same time, Josh is cursing, a rather colorful man is shouting happily over a piece of paper,

"Leap year!"

[regtuesdaysuit]

...which definitely makes Josh stop and stare in horror.

"Oh God," he groans, "one loony bin to another."

[agloriousthing]

The Pirate King is in a good mood so he grins at Josh,

"Stop that horrid groaning and come drink with me."

[regtuesdaysuit]

Josh frowns. And maybe starts to edge away.

"Thanks, but... I think I'll pass. I don't know if it's good for my blood pressure."

[agloriousthing]

"A glass of sherry won't do you any harm and I feel like celebrating. I found a way to confound Frederic."

[regtuesdaysuit]

"A glass of sherry won't do me harm enough. I need a freaking tequila." He massages the bridges of his nose for a moment. "Wait, what?"

Color him confounded too.

[agloriousthing]

"Tequila, I don't believe I've tried that one."

The Pirate King calls over a wait rat and orders sherry and tequila for them both,

"I found a way to get revenge on Frederic."

The music for a most amusing paradox goes quietly in the background.

[regtuesdaysuit]

"I--no, I can't, the door might--what the hell is that?"

Are the freaking Whiffenpoofs following him around?

[agloriousthing]

"Is what? You really do need to calm down. Is someone chasing you?"

[regtuesdaysuit]

"That noise. You don't hear that?"

He looks around, somewhat wildly. "Sorry, that doesn't happen where I'm from."

Not with any regularity, anyway.

"Nobody's chasing me, it's just--I got work that needs doing, and I'm not there to do it, and that's--nothing good ever comes of me not being around. Except when C.J.'s after me, but that's totally different."

[agloriousthing]

"Oh the music. The world is always full of music. Well, take a break, your work will still be there."

Josh gets firmly patted on the back and a shot of tequila poured out for him as the music rises again,

"I am the Pirate King, drink up."

[regtuesdaysuit]

Josh blinks.

No one has introduced themselves as a pirate king of any sort since his last attempt at surviving a bachelor party. And that guy definitely didn't hand out any zen workplace advice with his liquor.

"If you're a pirate king, where's your booty?"

Let's just move past the music thing and focus on one weirdness at a time.

[agloriousthing]

"On my ship of course."

Ah but the music doesn't go away, its just sometimes louder.

[regtuesdaysuit]

...there comes a time in every man's life when he realizes that he just shouldn't touch certain things.

All-pervasive delusions accompanied by manifest aural hallucinations and costumes are not at the top of that list, but they're high enough.

Josh clears his throat. "So, uh, how're you gonna get this Frederic guy?"

That sounds like politics. Politics he can do.

[agloriousthing]

"Turns out that he still owes me years on his contract since he was born on February 29th."

[regtuesdaysuit]

"You've got indentured servitude?"

Figures, doesn't it.

"Hey, that's not a bad proposition. Do they tend to do what you're telling them if they do it for freedom rather than a sense of patriotic duty?"