(Untitled)

[swinging_cod]

So.

Jayne's got himself an actual date to a wedding.

It's safe to say that this is a new and unprecedented thing, and Jayne is pondering it, brow furrowed, over a glass of tequila.  Which does help with the pondering, somewhat.

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[awesome_lilly]

"Hey, so I RSVP'd for two," Lilly announces, sitting down next to him.

"Which means that we have to talk about clothes. You've got other clothes, right?"

[swinging_cod]

"I got plenty a clothes," Jayne protests, instantly defensive.

Ma sends him care packages! Sometimes with sweaters in them!

[awesome_lilly]

"I know that," Lilly says, waving a hand.

She's been in his bunk, after all.

"I mean like, dress clothes."

[swinging_cod]

"You think we don't never go nowhere nice in the black? I got a nice fancified shirt. Collar and all."

He wears it for whoring!

[awesome_lilly]

...which is kinda oddly appropriate.

"A nice shirt is a good start, but... this is James Bond's wedding."

Lilly sighs.

"I'm sorry, Jayne. I think you need to wear a suit."

[swinging_cod]

"I don't know who the ruttin' hell James Bond is 'cept for the fact that he's gettin' hitched," Jayne says, flatly.

"I ain't no Cap'n Tightpants and I don't do suits."

[awesome_lilly]

Well. She hadn't thought this would be easy.

"I'm not saying you have to wear anything tight, but it's a wedding. You have to dress up. Think of it as how you earn all the free booze!"

[swinging_cod]

"What, they gonna throw me out if I ain't up to snuff?"

[awesome_lilly]

"Maybe?"

Lilly shrugs.

"I'm not a bouncer, I don't know. All I know is that I'm going to be wearing a totally hot dress and not much else and you're going to miss out on that if you're not dressed for the occasion."

[swinging_cod]

. . . this is a persuasive argument, and Jayne is clearly weakened by it.

"- so you're gonna be wearin' a bitty dress and not much else and I'm the one what has to put on three layers o'clothin'?"

Jayne feels this is unfair! And defeats the purpose of bitty dresses!

[awesome_lilly]

Lilly just smiles at him.

"Would you prefer it was the other way around?"

[swinging_cod]

. . . Jayne knows when he is beat.

"I'm spendin' hard-earned money on a suit, you'd best not expect flowers and shit," he says, sulkily.

[awesome_lilly]

"Oh my god."

The eyeroll he is getting is truly impressive.

"I'll buy you the damn suit if you'll stop pouting."

[swinging_cod]

Irritable: "I ain't lettin' you buy me no gorram suit."

He has his pride!

Besides: "You'll probably get me one that's all purple or covered in polka-dots and fèiwù."

[awesome_lilly]

"Purple's not your color."

It just washes him out, you know?

"So I'd go for something powder blue. With big lapels. Maybe a floral print. Because what I'm looking for in a date is someone wearing a ridiculous outfit and hating it, of course."

She gives him a look.

"Seriously. Basic black is all I'm asking for. Did you really think I'd put you in polka dots?"

[swinging_cod]

Jayne just shakes his head.

"Ain't ever got a clue what you'll do, Lil."