(Untitled)
Linguini's first tour of Milliways called everything he thought he knew into question, which clearly demanded he do something constructive (i.e., work toward an illustrious career as a mad scientist) when he next was forced to returned in order to make himself feel like he has any control whatsoever over the situation. Thusly he is in the bar ( Read more... )
With a yawn the big cat looks up, blinking at Linguini.
Well.
That's... eloquent.
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Ordinarily after making a public spectacle of himself Linguini would be surreptitiously trying to determine how many people saw him and whether or not he can passably pretend it didn't happen, but since he's doing this through tears of PEPPERY AGONY it's pretty obvious that something's up.
He hears a yawn, sees A TIGER and stops flailing for just a moment. He can feel its scorn.
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It's more like a mild... distaste.
"Bad day?" asks the creature, without moving his mouth.
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So he comes back to the tiger, and tenses, like a rabbit about to take off. How does he know it's distate? Tiger expressions are hard to read. It could be the opposite.
".......yes," he says, truthfully, because he kind of is and it'll be even worse if he's eaten.
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Linguini COULD be tasty, if...
... if he had more meat on him.
Even if he did, though, Tiger wouldn't eat him. Tiger is a nice... tiger.
"Ah. I am sorry to hear that."
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"Um, thanks." Maybe he is a nice tiger. He is, however, a tiger, which is confusing but which Linguini can't find a way to note aloud without stating the obvious and sounding incredibly slow.
"You're a tiger," he blurts out after pondering this.
So much for that, then.
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"I am the physical representation of the Third branch of what you may know as the Chinese Zodiac."
He is big, he is furry, he is powerful, he is spiritual, he is -- THE TIGER! Let's hear it for the king, ladies and gentlemen!
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"The tiger from the Chinese zodiac? What--where are all the other animals? I mean, do they come here?"
Suddenly he feels awed respect rather than fear. Well, maybe a tiny bit of fear, but Linguini is afraid of everything, so there you go.
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Tiger rolls onto his back, showing his fuzzy belly. PET HIM!
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Linguini's pretty sure that the tiger won't eat him, but it's probably best to be obedient anyway. This is, after all, no ordinary tiger. So. Slides off the barstool, and pets, but with his face (which looks like this: <8/) at a healthy distance, and totally ready to jump up and flee like a fleeing thing if he deems it necessary. Hay sup fangs as long as his fingers?
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Tiger, in his own huge cat way, purrs.
"Do you know what I represent?"
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He's still petting, but this might be a trick question. He's still on alert, like a deer in headlights, which isn't very good because the main reason deer get hit by cars is because they just sit there and try to stare them out, but it's worked for him so far.
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It's SO GOOD to be a King!
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If he's got any spare luck lying around perhaps he could send some Linguini's way.
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"Do you not think it strange that you drew the attention of, out of all things here, a tiger?"
He doesn't show up to just ANYONE, you know.
Well.
He tries not to.
(Otherwise, there might be people running around going IT'S A TIGER GET IN THE CAR -- WAIT WE DON'T HAVE A CAR -- OMGOMGOMGIUDSJFGkjsdgfkjgA!!11
And that would be bad.)
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"--oh! I didn't think of that. So you can tell when people are... not lucky? And you knew I wasn't. At the time."
Apparently Linguini gives off unfortunate vibes. Maybe people can even smell the unluckiness on him. Or tigers, anyway.
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