(Untitled)

[berryberryraz]

One goo girl at the bar, trying to figure out why it is that men like cheating on their girlfriends with her so much. The process appears to involve large quantities of chocolate-vodka milkshake. As always, she's up for company, though she may be inclined to ask if said company is romantically involved before hitting on it.

Comments

[stupid_scar]

She gets noticed in passing. Let's face it, she's hard to miss. And he doesn't have anywhere better to be right now so...

"Pardon me... hello? Are you all right?" He might be asking because she looks sulky, or he might be asking because she looks like someone hit her with a particularly nasty, if bizarre, curse.

[berryberryraz]

"Yeah. No. Drunk. Pissed off. Confused. Want a milkshake?" She has several. "Chocolate 'n vodka. Best combination the world's ever invented."

[stupid_scar]

"...All right." He takes a seat but doesn't touch the milkshake yet. "What's confusing?"

[berryberryraz]

"Men. No offense, babe, but you people are insane. Since I've been at Milliways? Twice I've fucked a guy and then found out the next day he had a girlfriend. Twice! Fucking crazy! I mean, do I just look good to assholes or something? What?"

[stupid_scar]

"...Ah. Yes, that can happen. Rotten luck, though." He'd put a hand on her shoulder but... she's... kind of made of purple goo and he's not sure what would happen if he did. The guys she slept with might have been... dead already, or something. Aliens. You never know.

[berryberryraz]

"Yeah, well. What's the saying again? Once is chance, twice is coincidence, if this happens again I'm gonna kick somebody's ass?" She sighs. "Hell, I didn't even know the second guy's name. What's it say about a man that he'll fuck some chick whose name he doesn't know, then bitch at her the next day because he's guilty he cheated on his girlfriend?"

[stupid_scar]

"That he's a wormy bastard, frankly," Harry says sympathetically. "Pity you don't know his name, or you could smear his reputation a bit."

What? Harry may be Ye Olde Hero, but that doesn't make him above a little foul play. It's for the good of womankind! Really!

[berryberryraz]

"Well, I already ran into his girlfriend. Small fuckin' world. I know her name, but c'mon, who am I gonna impress with that news? 'Mia's boyfriend is a huge manwhore'. Uh-huh. Don't even know her last name."

[stupid_scar]

...

...

"This guy... Blonde, weasely expression, grey eyes, tendency to snark at things?"

[berryberryraz]

"If by that you mean blond, incredibly hot, grey eyes, huge stick up his ass, then yep. Oh fuck, don't tell me you know him." Raz chuckles. "This couldn't get any more like a soap opera if it tried."

[stupid_scar]

FACEPALM. "I bloody told her he'd do this! Sorry. Yes, I know him. Entirely too well. Went to school with him. Oh, poor Mia. It not listening to good advice a trait all women have in common, or is it just the ones who fall in love with complete jerks?"

[berryberryraz]

"Hey, I listen to good advice, babe. The chick seems all right. Really, whatsisface doesn't look like that much of an asshole. She's probably just one of those people who gives everybody the benefit of the doubt." Raz chuckles. "And is anybody gonna tell me his name? For that matter, what's yours?"

[stupid_scar]

"Harry Potter." He offers his hand. "And your ever-so-virtuous two-timing snake is one Draco Malfoy of Slytherin house."

[berryberryraz]

"Raspberry." Her hand is made of Jell-O, and she smells like raspberries, and incidentally is very attractive. And smiling. "Nice to meet ya, Harry. What the fuck's a Slytherin?"

[stupid_scar]

This is really, really weird. Milliways is weird, but this is weird.

"You met one. Slytherin is one of the four houss of Hogwarts, our school. I'm in Gryffindor." There's more to it, but he's not in the mood to explain. "So.. I take it his girlfriend knows what he did?"

[berryberryraz]

"Huh, okay. Yeah, she's probably tearing him a new one as we speak." Raz sighs. "Honestly? Sure, he's a two-timing asshole, but he wouldn't have been nearly so fucking bitchy with me if he didn't really, really give a shit about the girl. I'm kinda pissed that their shit's all fucked up now, y'know?"

Raz: Vulgar psychologist of Milliways.