(no subject)
It isn't that she likes the idea of Beth and Beth Junior going out there with her, but she sure understands Beth's logic and reasoning. When Beth told her she was going out that door with her, at first Hero thought she was completely fucking retarded: why give this up? Why even risk it? She and Beth Junior and Spike have the perfect setup here: a place of their own. No goddamn amazons. But the Santa Madre's a persuasive woman -- probably why her dog of a brother liked her well enough to get her knocked up in the first place -- and if it's what Beth wants, she'd rather be out there with her and her niece than let the two of them go out there alone.
She looks at it this way: if she herself doesn't make it back, no one will be any worse off than they already are. If she goes out there and tries to get back in through that cornfield shed and it doesn't work, she'll still only be as far away from the hot suite as she was a few days ago.
If she goes out and does make it back, she'll breathe a little easier. They all will and it's like she told Jack Twist: Beth's her best friend in the whole goddamn world and sure, she'll be really fucking glad to have her out there again. The piece she understands with less certainty is Beth's insistence that Spike stays here: she gets it, but she doesn't think it's fair. Then again, when was life ever fair?
Never, that's when.
So it's with a lot of goddamn trepidation that she opens the front door, walks back out into the Kansas corn field, and lets the shed door shut behind her. Walking away, she eyes the silo that signifies the entrance to the hot suite: she could do this whole fucking thing now. Deliver Amp's shit, make her apologies, and get back here. But there aren't any guarantees about what she'll find once she's there and it'll take a while to get there and make all her explanations, and...
No, she promised Beth she'd try the door and that's what she's going to do. Walking back to the shed she yanks that goddamn door open, breathes out a sigh of relief at what she sees, and comes back into the bar.
"Good fucking thing," she mutters beneath her breath. "I hate it when people leave without saying goodbye."
She looks at it this way: if she herself doesn't make it back, no one will be any worse off than they already are. If she goes out there and tries to get back in through that cornfield shed and it doesn't work, she'll still only be as far away from the hot suite as she was a few days ago.
If she goes out and does make it back, she'll breathe a little easier. They all will and it's like she told Jack Twist: Beth's her best friend in the whole goddamn world and sure, she'll be really fucking glad to have her out there again. The piece she understands with less certainty is Beth's insistence that Spike stays here: she gets it, but she doesn't think it's fair. Then again, when was life ever fair?
Never, that's when.
So it's with a lot of goddamn trepidation that she opens the front door, walks back out into the Kansas corn field, and lets the shed door shut behind her. Walking away, she eyes the silo that signifies the entrance to the hot suite: she could do this whole fucking thing now. Deliver Amp's shit, make her apologies, and get back here. But there aren't any guarantees about what she'll find once she's there and it'll take a while to get there and make all her explanations, and...
No, she promised Beth she'd try the door and that's what she's going to do. Walking back to the shed she yanks that goddamn door open, breathes out a sigh of relief at what she sees, and comes back into the bar.
"Good fucking thing," she mutters beneath her breath. "I hate it when people leave without saying goodbye."