(Untitled)

[k_in_black]

"No report? Since when?"

"Well, don't contact me. Report it to Zed asap, and--. Ah, hell, I'm at Milliways, going offline. Upload your report once

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[snakes_inna_bar]

How does Kay feel about snakes?

Specifically the small coral snake that seems to have appropriated his glass.

[k_in_black]

K is basically live and let live when it comes to most lifeforms around the galaxy. Ok, maybe not Bugs, but they're a special case.

And, now he's found another special case. Snakes in the bar, snakes on the bar, even snakes crawling up his Suit are one thing.

But a snake in his bourbon?

THAT is unforgivable.

K gives the little snake the Glare that has brought up short several non-human species over the years. Though K would have to admit, he's never tried it on coral snakes.

"Would you mind removing yourself from my drink?"

No, he doesn't really expect the snake to answer, but in K's line of work, you never can tell.

[snakes_inna_bar]

Well, it's out of the drink, now. But it stays curled around K's glass, and gives a threatening hiss. As it's about two feet long, the snake has plenty of reach, still.

[k_in_black]

K has half a mind to neuralyze the damn thing, just to screw with its head. But that would probably breach the rules of the bar, and K's not about to give this reptile that satisfaction.

"Bar, would you mind taking back my bourbon for a moment, please?"

Whatever else happens, it's not going to be messing with his damn drink.

Meanwhile, he takes a slow but deliberate step backward, still giving the snake his best Glare.

[snakes_inna_bar]

If snakes could make faces, this one would be wearing an expression rather like 'D:' after the glass vanishes. It scoots to the left, and mostly vanishes under a pile of paper napkins.

The Glare is met with a hostile Stare.

[k_in_black]

Damn straight. K's been around the block and back again. He's not about to take any crap from a snake.

"Bar, a large set of tongs and a heavy bag, if you please?"

*bamph* "Thank you."

Still Glaring at the snake. "That's right, Slick. By the time I'm done with you, I won't be needing that new wallet after all."

[snakes_inna_bar]

See the fangs? They are small, but sharp, and most coral snake bites take place when trying to handle one.

Bring it on. Make. His. Day.

[k_in_black]

Fortunately, the handles give the Man in Black some good distance from those fangs. K has no intention of doing a Steve Irwin impression.

Down comes the tongs. It's K's first try, but they're pretty well aimed to fall right around the snake's head: *THWAP*

[snakes_inna_bar]

O SNAP.

It dodges the first strike with a rustle of napkins.

[k_in_black]

Bastard. OK, Round Two:

*THWAP*

Meanwhile, with his other hand, K reaches for something just inside the pocket of his Suit....

[snakes_inna_bar]

DE-NIED. Maybe K is getting a little too old for this line of work...

Golf might be more up his aisle.

[k_in_black]

Yeah, that's right, just keep hissing like that. K keeps the tongs in motion, waving them menacingly at the snake....

...while he pulls a strange metal cylinder from his Suit. A flick of a dial on the cylinder, and then he lowers tongs and holds up the neuralyzer to catch the light.

"Tha-at's it. Just keep looking. Right. Here."

*FWAMP!!!*

What? Of course, snakes can be neuralyzed!

[snakes_inna_bar]

...well, it does seem to be holding remarkably still for something that was so pissed off a moment ago.

[k_in_black]

*THWAP!*

*SQUEEZE!* go the tongs.

"Gotcha!, you little..."

K grabs the snake bag and smacks it down on the snake. His fist comes down on the head with a loud crunch.

That's fine--he won't be needing that part for his wallet.

"Bar, I'd like the rest of that bourbon now. And filtered first, if you please."

And that's why you do not mess with a motherf@#$ing Man in Black's motherf@#$ing bourbon.