We missed half of the action, we were sarcasming so hard

[milliebee]

I just watched the new episode of Doctor Who with my family and my boyfriend, Mike.  We didn't take it very seriously at all.



Me: Anyone else remember when the Daleks were scary and important enough to be a season finale?

• Mike: Save the Daleks. Oh yes, the famous Dalek survival instinct.
• Mike: You know, the one where earlier they were willing to destroy everything
• Mike: Including themselves.
• Mike:
• Me:
• Mike:
• Me:
• Mike: That one.

• Mike: Prime Minister?
• Mike: They've taken a bit of a step down from Emporer, haven't they?
• Me: They must have accepted Elizabeth II as their queen. They are loyal to our crown now. He has to save them.

• Cyberman: You are compatible, although your design is inelegant.
• Dalek: Daleks have no concept of elegance.
• Cyberman: This is obvious.
• SEVERAL YEARS LATER
• Dalek Prime Minister: Does it surprise you to know that the Daleks have a concept of beauty.
• Doctor:
• Me:
• Mike:
• Me:
• Dalek:
• Mike: Yes, actually.

• Doctor: Oh hey look a big black hole that we cannot see the bottom of.
• Doctor:
• Doctor:
• Doctor:
• Random Dude: I have enough rope.
• Doctor:
• Mike: HOW CAN YOU TELL?

• (Skeleton is revealed)
• Doctor: They're dead.
• Mike: Well done. I can tell why you're a doctor.

• Doctor: The first thing you're going to lose is your memories, and I'm sorry but it's started already.
• Amy: How do you know?
• Doctor: Because you've asked me that four times already.
• Doctor:
• Doctor:
• Dad: OH MY GOD my mum's turning into a Dalek!

• Dalek: SELF. DESTRUCT. INITIATED.
• Amy: What's it doing?
• Me: Baking a cake. What the fuck do you think, Amy?
• Doctor: It's blowing itself up and us with it.
• Mike: Y'know those self preservation instincts I was talking about earlier? This is them in action. 'Can't shoot the Doctor: must blow self up'.
• Me: Flawless.

• Doctor: The Daleks need genius. They did a full converstion. You are not human, you are a Dalek.
• Mike: Hey remember the last time the Daleks did human conversion?
• Me: Um...
• Mike: Back with the Ninth Doctor, in the season finale, and they were all screwy and religious and just generally shoddy Daleks. Why have they done it again?
• Me:
• Mike:
• Me: THE. DALEKS. HAVE. NO. CONCEPT. OF. PAST. EXPERIENCE.

• Doctor: Dinosaurs... on a spaceship!
• Me:
• Me:
• Me:
• My brother: Haha, it's like Snakes on a Plane. I'M SO TIRED OF THESE MOTHERFUCKING DINOSAURS ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING SPACESHIP.