Is there really a point?
Somehow I ended up in hospital again last night as I felt suicidal and the crisis team and out of hours GP wouldn't help. The triage nurse treated me like I was stupid for being in a&e although she did get the crisis team to help and got me some diazepam to last the weekend. More problems came when I needed to get home. I had no one to get me home, no money for a cab and no means of getting any money. The crisis team called Zoe's mum as Zoe is my next of kin and she'd tried all the phone numbers with no answer. Zoe's mum then proceeded to slag me off to the crisis worker within earshot of me and was refusing for anyone to pick me up. Fortunately Zoe was a lot more charitable and agreed to collect me. The crisis worker was appauled by Zoe's mum's attitude and she feels that finding alternative support would be better. TBH I agree as I'm not happy about the kids being somewhere where it's obvious they are trying to steal them from me and poison the kids against me. I know Zoe wouldn't be like that but I think her mum forgets everything I've had to deal with. Perhaps I should have just walked away when Zoe came out as trans rather than sacrificing everything to support her and giving up all I was entitled to so she could have surgery. If I'd known the way I'd be abandoned when I have an illness very similar I certainly wouldn't have done the right thing by Zoe.
I don't know what to do now. I want to go to my parents but I only have 50p to last until the 14th of the month. I'm overdrawn and have no overdraft. The car insurance is going to bounce so I'll have no car. I'm surviving on stale bread, off milk and the tin of chocolates my mum gave me. What's even worse is knowing that the kids are in the lap of luxury with all their favourite treats, expensive toys and attention from 4 adults. There really isn't any point in me being around. No one needs me. I can't afford to look after myself or the children and there's no point in any one saying that they need their mum because they don't. I'm a worthless waste of space and no one would even notice I wasn't here. It would be better for everyone since I'm not able to do anything and have no life anymore
I don't know what to do now. I want to go to my parents but I only have 50p to last until the 14th of the month. I'm overdrawn and have no overdraft. The car insurance is going to bounce so I'll have no car. I'm surviving on stale bread, off milk and the tin of chocolates my mum gave me. What's even worse is knowing that the kids are in the lap of luxury with all their favourite treats, expensive toys and attention from 4 adults. There really isn't any point in me being around. No one needs me. I can't afford to look after myself or the children and there's no point in any one saying that they need their mum because they don't. I'm a worthless waste of space and no one would even notice I wasn't here. It would be better for everyone since I'm not able to do anything and have no life anymore