(no subject)
(((Closed to Pele and Zigfried. No I'm not mad at him. It's something else...)))
I just got off the phone with Rishid. I told him about the conversation Dartz and I had about going to Pele's Fortress. He's worried about me- of course- but he says he is sure I will stay safe with my friends- you guys!- being there with me. I agree.
There are some things concerning me though... Dartz mentioned Zigfried during our talk... and I must admit, it's made me think about him a bit too much.
I've been staying away from Zigfried lately. He's going through a lot of stress right now, and frankly, I don't understand any of it. Well, I do understand, but I don't know how to comfort him. I feel... helpless.
Not only that, but... remember this? Yeah, well, I was being a jerk. But there was something Kaiba said that scared me. No, that's not the right word. It disgusted me. And now it seems to be stuck in my mind...
"What the hell is the matter with you? Granted that we all may not like Vivian, but there was no reason to strike her. She was only trying to get you to see that you are doing the exact same thing that you did when Pele took control! Or are you jealous that Zigfried is not paying attention to you in the manner he did Atemu and Mako?
Just admit it. You love him more than a brother and it's tearing you apart that he only sees you as a friend. Which is it?"
Me? In love with Zigfried? It's insane. It's sick. It's disgusting. And it's haunting me. Ever since Kaiba said that, I've been thinking... *shudders* horrible things. I find the image of me and Zigfried... together - holding each other, kissing, but nothing more than that!!!- appearing in my head, out of nowhere and it makes me feel terrible. I can't imagine being with him like that- well, appearently I can- but it's tearing me apart when I do!
I have never thought anything past kissing or hugging... not yet. I've but up mind barriers around my thoughts to make sure Mariku doesn't see these things, and take it the wrong way, but I don't know how long it'll last.
These thoughts were just starting to go away, but then Dartz mentioned him again and it all came rushing back...
I need to stay away from Zigfried for now... It hurts, I'm his friend, his 'brother', and nothing more, but I know I must spend time away from him until I get over this... Until I can say his name without thinking these thoughts.
I just got off the phone with Rishid. I told him about the conversation Dartz and I had about going to Pele's Fortress. He's worried about me- of course- but he says he is sure I will stay safe with my friends- you guys!- being there with me. I agree.
There are some things concerning me though... Dartz mentioned Zigfried during our talk... and I must admit, it's made me think about him a bit too much.
I've been staying away from Zigfried lately. He's going through a lot of stress right now, and frankly, I don't understand any of it. Well, I do understand, but I don't know how to comfort him. I feel... helpless.
Not only that, but... remember this? Yeah, well, I was being a jerk. But there was something Kaiba said that scared me. No, that's not the right word. It disgusted me. And now it seems to be stuck in my mind...
"What the hell is the matter with you? Granted that we all may not like Vivian, but there was no reason to strike her. She was only trying to get you to see that you are doing the exact same thing that you did when Pele took control! Or are you jealous that Zigfried is not paying attention to you in the manner he did Atemu and Mako?
Just admit it. You love him more than a brother and it's tearing you apart that he only sees you as a friend. Which is it?"
Me? In love with Zigfried? It's insane. It's sick. It's disgusting. And it's haunting me. Ever since Kaiba said that, I've been thinking... *shudders* horrible things. I find the image of me and Zigfried... together - holding each other, kissing, but nothing more than that!!!- appearing in my head, out of nowhere and it makes me feel terrible. I can't imagine being with him like that- well, appearently I can- but it's tearing me apart when I do!
I have never thought anything past kissing or hugging... not yet. I've but up mind barriers around my thoughts to make sure Mariku doesn't see these things, and take it the wrong way, but I don't know how long it'll last.
These thoughts were just starting to go away, but then Dartz mentioned him again and it all came rushing back...
I need to stay away from Zigfried for now... It hurts, I'm his friend, his 'brother', and nothing more, but I know I must spend time away from him until I get over this... Until I can say his name without thinking these thoughts.