Yawn.
I've got a joke for you guys:
Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees a big bad wolf crouched down be-hind a log.
"My, what big eyes you have, Mr.Wolf."
The wolf jumps up and runs away.
Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched behind a bush.
"My what big ears you have, Mr. Wolf."
Again the wolf jumps up and runs away.
About two miles down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched down behind a rock.
"My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf."
With that the wolf jumps up and screams, "Will you knock it off, I'm trying to poop!"
HERE'S ANOTHER:
So it was announced that Abu Musab al Zarqawi was killed in
>>Iraq by American forces.
>>
>>George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates. He slapped him across the
>>face and yelled, "How dare you fight against the nation I helped
>>conceive.
>>
>>Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, "You
>>wanted to end our liberties but you failed!"
>>
>>James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, "This is why I
>>allowed our government to provide for the common defense!"
>>
>>Thomas Jefferson was next, beat Zarqawi with a long cane and snarled, "It
>>was evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of
>>Independence."
>>
>>The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and
>>66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist leader.
>>
>>As Zarqawi lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared. Zarqawi wept and
>>said, "This is not what you promised me."
>>
>>The Angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for
>>you in Heaven. What did you think I said?"
AND ANOTHER:
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their
parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their
stories.
"Tony, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes ma'am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Karen. She was a pilot
in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy
territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a
survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't
break and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops.
She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets,
killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she
killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
"Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher. "What kind of moral did
your daddy tell you from this horrible story?"
"Stay the f... away from Aunt Karen when she's drinking!
AND:
A man and a woman who had never met before, but were both married to
other
people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly - he in the upper bunk and she in
the lower. At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman, asking,
"Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the
closetto get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."
"I have a better idea" she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."
"Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed.
"Good," she replied. "Get your own damn blanket."
After a moment of silence, he farted.
..........................................................................
HAHA...Good stuff...good stuff.
Been chillin...
Saw Dead Man's Chest for the 4th time today...still love it.
We took my Mama Honey...and she loved it!
So did Mom and Russ...
Then we ate at O'Charley's...I still feel like throwing up...SO FULL!
Well...not much more to say...school starts soon...for Jordan anyway...HAHA.
I start on the 21st in case anyone was itching to know.
Mom got like this off-brand temper-pedic matress cover and pillows...things...and put em on her bed...I ended up falling asleep for like...2 hours! It felt like it'd been five minutes...and when I got up I felt like I weighed a million lbs! It was great...but...I would never buy it because then I wouldn't want to get outta bed in the morning!
...
Yeah...I guess...that's it...
I have no clue where Manda's party is at nor what time it is tomorrow so if any of you out there know...fill me in!
Toodles!
Oden
Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees a big bad wolf crouched down be-hind a log.
"My, what big eyes you have, Mr.Wolf."
The wolf jumps up and runs away.
Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched behind a bush.
"My what big ears you have, Mr. Wolf."
Again the wolf jumps up and runs away.
About two miles down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched down behind a rock.
"My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf."
With that the wolf jumps up and screams, "Will you knock it off, I'm trying to poop!"
HERE'S ANOTHER:
So it was announced that Abu Musab al Zarqawi was killed in
>>Iraq by American forces.
>>
>>George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates. He slapped him across the
>>face and yelled, "How dare you fight against the nation I helped
>>conceive.
>>
>>Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, "You
>>wanted to end our liberties but you failed!"
>>
>>James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, "This is why I
>>allowed our government to provide for the common defense!"
>>
>>Thomas Jefferson was next, beat Zarqawi with a long cane and snarled, "It
>>was evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of
>>Independence."
>>
>>The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and
>>66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist leader.
>>
>>As Zarqawi lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared. Zarqawi wept and
>>said, "This is not what you promised me."
>>
>>The Angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for
>>you in Heaven. What did you think I said?"
AND ANOTHER:
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their
parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their
stories.
"Tony, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes ma'am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Karen. She was a pilot
in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy
territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a
survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't
break and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops.
She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets,
killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she
killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
"Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher. "What kind of moral did
your daddy tell you from this horrible story?"
"Stay the f... away from Aunt Karen when she's drinking!
AND:
A man and a woman who had never met before, but were both married to
other
people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly - he in the upper bunk and she in
the lower. At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman, asking,
"Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the
closetto get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."
"I have a better idea" she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."
"Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed.
"Good," she replied. "Get your own damn blanket."
After a moment of silence, he farted.
..........................................................................
HAHA...Good stuff...good stuff.
Been chillin...
Saw Dead Man's Chest for the 4th time today...still love it.
We took my Mama Honey...and she loved it!
So did Mom and Russ...
Then we ate at O'Charley's...I still feel like throwing up...SO FULL!
Well...not much more to say...school starts soon...for Jordan anyway...HAHA.
I start on the 21st in case anyone was itching to know.
Mom got like this off-brand temper-pedic matress cover and pillows...things...and put em on her bed...I ended up falling asleep for like...2 hours! It felt like it'd been five minutes...and when I got up I felt like I weighed a million lbs! It was great...but...I would never buy it because then I wouldn't want to get outta bed in the morning!
...
Yeah...I guess...that's it...
I have no clue where Manda's party is at nor what time it is tomorrow so if any of you out there know...fill me in!
Toodles!
Oden