Johanson Legacy 1.2
Contains swearing, sexual innuendos, Harry Potter: Goblet of Fire spoiler-ish. 66 pics (lol kinda short)
Last time: Jake Johanson moved in and met some purdy girls… And some weird, potentially impared men. He finally settled on a beauty named Nene and I moved her in. All caught up? No? WELL TOUGH BANANAS
We load up the lot to see Jake lookin’ all sexy with my new defaults.
And Nene’s looking - wait. Oh no…Oh nooooo…
OH NOOOOO SHE LOOKS TERRIBLE
Phew! It’s nice to know that her hotness is still preserved.
And I re-rolled her ltw, btw (rofl aren’t I creative and rhymy today? :D) She now wants to be a ~GAME DESIGNER~ WHOOP WHOOP.
Why must almost ALL of my female townies have black hair?
Girl: O LOL I’M DRUNK AS CRAP LOLOLOL! ;D
Nene: Zomg, I love getting drunk!!
Her name is either Cathy or Carol. Idrk so I’ll call her Carol.
o lawdie plz not another one
Oh yeah, Jake is still alive.
Jake: Just playing my winter games-y game. :)
OIC, the only woman you’ve prolly ever talked to is all “red X” worthy.
Carol: I don’t like telling people my job because it’s shitty and boring so why the hell did you ask? Why why why??
Nene has turned to the dark side of…
HARRY POTTER HOHOHOHO
*crotch shot*
Geez, you two. Get a room or something. :P
Oh really? This can be arranged…
Nene: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I WANNA MARRY YOUUUUU
He says yes cause he’s moderately smart.
Carol: wut happened and why yall all ++’ing
Shouldn’t she prolly go home or something now?
His snarl’s back~
:D
Jake: JUST DANCE GONNA BE OKAY
Carol is still a drunken sailor early in the mornin’
He looks all mime-esque and it’s kinda creepy…
Also, why is he wearing his engagement ring on his middle finger?
Carol: I don’t like creepy mime men. :(
Nene quits her job because I want her to be hired as a noob ASAP.
YES YES GO GO GO
Bad things happen when a newly engaged man is around a sexy, drunk neighbor whom he has TWO (!!!) bolts with.
……
It’s funny how this substitute teacher has NO CLASS LMAO
Jake: But I get to be the repairman, right?
Nene: Oh, you can clean out my pipes anyday! >:D
/innuendo
WASSUP GENESIS?
She resembles a less tomboy-ish Hermione Granger. (OH NO IVE TURNED TO THE DARK SIDE TOO)
This is Nene telling a joke.
How enthusiastic is she?
Genesis: ROFL THAT JOKE WINS I <3 U NENE!!!
Genesis: Everyone likes snowboarding so gosh darn much and I like plain old skiing? Is that weird Nene? Tell me that isn’t weird, Nene! D:
Genesis wasn’t the only gal pal prowling the grounds.
How ya been, Kay?
Lol, Nene, you don’t recycle you littering liar face. Look at you eating that NEWLY MANUFACTURED toaster pastry!
JAKE, DO NOT GIVE HER IDEAS PLEASE
Jake: My fiancée is totes sexbomb, right?
Kay: Eww! I HATE marital bliss! *cringes*
I think that everyone’s pretty much hooked on Harry Potter thanks to Nene.
Kay’s so ~popular~
Genesis: I don’t like Kay. :(
How’s it hanging Jake?
Wait. A. Minute. You’re not Jake…
It’s a bathroom party, woo!
Nene stuns her new buddies with her ability to float into midair while smustling.
But then has to piss making her friends kinda think she’s a dirty little whore.
Nene: OOOOOHHHH I NEED TO PEE HALP!!!1!11!
Kay Gothier: Classy 2 da EXTREME
I can understand Kay, but Jake?
He’s seen her putang about three million times. Why would now be any scarier?
Jake: And then there’s Moaning Myrtle who’s a real pain in the ass to Harry in Goblet of Fire and…
STOP FUCKING TALKING ABOUT HARRY POTTER POR FAVOR
YEEEEEY GENERATION TWO
Nene: Eww, morning sickness is so ~disgusting~
Feeding for two + two neat points + the washing machine being weird = well…
This bitch has no manners and thinks it a-okay to read a newspaper that her neighbors, whom she doesn’t know AT ALL, pay for every morning.
THANKS LADY NOW GTFO
Nene popped in the bathroom and I’m TOO excited. :P
This picture makes me wonder what alien Jake would look like.
He then realizes that his fiancée is prego and goes to talk with his fetus.
Jake: Lets get married not just cause I want your kid to have my last name and the fact that you have the want locked, but because ZOMG WE LOVE EACH OTHER <3333333
THIS UPDATE IS GETTING JUST ~TOO~ HOT
Nene, I know for certain this isn’t the first time you’ve macked on Jake.
Nene: ~Like a virgin…HAY…Touched for the very first time~
Nene: YARSH I LUV SSX
Nene: It’s my *life ambition*
Nene: Too bad I suck at it…
FIDDLESTICKS WOMAN WIPE THAT CHIMP FACE OFF
Pregnancy’s rough on a girl.
Jake: doodoodoo just eatin my poptart lalala
Jake: So I got demoted, like, 6983.79 months ago, but I thought I’d mention it to you AGAIN.
Does he not notice the three trillion Z’s crapping out of her hair?
Dear Jake, stop throwing away the actions in your queue like taking a shower and pissing to do random shit.
I NEED TO GROOM YOU FOR WORK
PISS. SHOWER. NOW.
Nene is my only slave when Jake’s at work.
Nene: get me a fuckin advil goddamn im so overworked i need a vacation or some shit bitch now please
Nene: OH GOSH MY UTERUS IS EXPLODING COCAINE :DDDD
Sigh, I can’t wait for this crap to be over. :/
Which it will be next time on…
~doo do doo~
THE JOHANSON LEGACY