A letter
We can still be friends. Yeah. I know I made it hard on you for awhile. I know. Despite me knowing, too, that you were completely wrong for me. Yep, I clung to you in the same strange way that my childhood cat clung to eleven year old me when I held her over the commode. There wasn't really anything to fear, but the thought of having suddenly
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I'm sorry you had to go through this shit with someone who sounds like a weakling. I see that you've come out of it wiser than ever, and not bitter, though still hurt but brave enough to show that.
One thing is that they never change, though. "They" being those people that are always keeping something of themselves in reserve, or people that are looking for that high high of the new relationship and so they need to find new loves, not work on the old ones.
I'm sure Jessica will end up hurt and finding she's "replaceable" like you did, or interchangeable maybe is the word.
I'm not saying that to be hateful, either, or wish her anything other than that she had more couth or to hope she didn't realize what was quite going on... but they never change really. Or I feel like they don't until they ALWAYS have that feeling of new discovery. I see guys where they're in a lather over this girl or that one and she never seems to be quite 100% into it as they are, and maybe that makes them always someone to capture.
Anyway, XOXOX to you. Tough cookie.
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She moved in with him already. Met once in person (for one day!) and now shacking up!!! LOL. The thing is he's never broken up with anyone. He doesn't want to replace anyone, but he also doesn't want to put in effort. So as long as Jessica is content with his level of focus on her, they'll be golden.
And to be fair, we had nothing at all in common, so no way to really find common ground. He would talk about video games and movies I'd never seen. I would blink blink blink blink blink. I asked him once if it bothered him that I didn't understand any of his references of anything he was talking about and he said 'not really, does it bother you?' and I was like yuuuuuup. lol. So maybe they can connect over those things.
We were just a terrible terrible awful shitty match. But he was gorgeous and his butt was perf. HAHA. And I lacked confidence that anyone would ever find me attractive enough ever again. But I realized that that was just stinkin' thinkin' and once I was brave enough to let go of what was behind curtain #1, I might actually be able to get the big prize, the best prize, but not until.
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When I was trying to date on the internet (I'd try off and on) my big thing was that I didn't want a younger guy because I thought we'd end up having those problems where he didn't know what the hell I was talking about. I need that connection, it would drive me nuts to not have similar references. Not that I'm sure if that guy was younger than you.
Yeah you needed to let go of thinking nobody would find you attractive! Dylan tells me I'm beautiful all the time but it's hard for me to believe him, so I'm still holding on to a lot of stinkin' thinkin' myself and I'd never judge or try to give advice. But I hear you about needing to feel special.
But I also hear you about the perf butt. Oh yeah. Mama like.
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