Scared to Death
Pairing:kai/kyungsoo
Genre: slight angst?
Rating: PG
Length: 1.1k
The smell of the hospital has never been Jongin’s friend. It was past 10 in the evening, -the clock hanging on the white wall reads- he was sitting on the lobby of the hospital and waiting for his boyfriend Kyungsoo. After his work, he went straight to this hospital because he simply missed Kyungsoo. Time has been so cruel to them these past few months. It’s either Jongin is busy or Kyungsoo has to do extra shift. They often see each other already asleep when they got home or either both of them are too tired to talk about their day.
Jongin leans his head on the cold wall then put his hands over his face as he closed his eyes. Maybe a nap would do. This day has been a rough day for him, not only that he was late on his shift, and there’s just too much demand from his customers at the restaurant this day. His head aches plus he didn’t have a decent meal yet.
“Sir? Are you alright?” a voice startled Jongin from his nap. He quickly fixed himself and smiled at the nurse who looked worried.
“Yes. I’m fine. Did I cause trouble sleeping here?” he shook his head and put his hand on his neck.
“I really am sorry. I was just waiting for someone.”
“Oh no sir. I just thought you need help.” The small boy smiled at Jongin. “Here. You can have it.” he handed Jongin a cup of coffee from the vendo machine.
“N-no, no. I’m okay really.”
“I insist.”
“If you do, then thanks.” The nurse left him and he was alone again. He took a sip of coffee then checked his watch again and sighed. Thirty more minutes.
___
“Hey Jongin not there!!! It tickles!!!” Kyungsoo tried to get rid of Jongin’s grip on his waist but he was too weak. Just as he was about to kick Jongin again, Jongin pushed him against the couch then started kissing him. Kyungsoo didn’t complain but neither did he respond at the kiss too. Jongin was being rough and Kyungsoo doesn’t like it
“Jong..in.. wait”
“What’s wrong hyung?” This time Jongin is planting kisses on Kyungsoo’s jaw then to his neck. He grabbed the collar of Kyungsoo’s shirt pulling him closer. His hands move to the hem of Kyungsoo’s shirt trying to get rid of the other’s shirt.
“Jongin we need to stop.” He was serious and his voice is full of authority, hands were both on Jongin’s shoulder.
“Is there a problem?” he’s hurt, Kyungsoo knew it. It’s been a while since they did it and now that they have the time already, he doesn’t know but it just feels so wrong.
“N-no. I’m just tired. I’m sorry. Let’s go to bed.”
“Alright.” Jongin smiled and kissed Kyungsoo on his forehead then lead their way to the bedroom.
___
He cringes at the memory. Jongin knows something was off with Kyungsoo but days and nights he let it pass. He loves Kyungsoo so much. Why would he create such problems when there really aren’t? Or maybe there was but he refused to accept it because he’s afraid. Kyungsoo is still the Kyungsoo Jongin knows except when he touch him.
It was time. The clock struck 11. Jongin fixed his hair then decided to go to the hospital’s restroom to check his face on the mirror. Kyungsoo would be surprised to see him here. He smiled.
Or would he?
Jongin bit his lower lip and clenched his fist as hard as he could. Kyungsoo was approaching his direction but the boy didn’t notice him. He was smiling as he talks to the nurse who gave him coffee earlier. When was the last time you smiled at me that way?Jongin thought to himself. He doesn’t know where the shooting pain in his chest was coming from but there’s no time for that he has to talk to Kyungsoo.
“Hyung...” Kyungsoo was indeed surprised to see Jongin
“W-what’re you doing here?” he asked in confusion. Jongin pulled him into a hug and plant a kiss on the shorter boy’s head. Kyungsoo flinched but Jongin just pulled him closely to himself.
“I waited for you. We could go home together” He said calmly and sweetly, running his hands on Kyungsoo’s back. He didn’t hear a reply from Kyungsoo but the boy just nodded. They both hear a cough breaking their hug.
“He’s B-Baekhyun. My friend.”
“I met him earlier actually. You’re so lucky Soo. He’s been here for hours waiting for you.” Baekhyun chuckles
“Nice to meet you Baekhyun ssi, I’m Jongin.” Jongin then extended his hand to Baekhyun who gladly shakes it.
“Bye Baekhyun, we should go now.” Kyungsoo bids as Jongin grabs his hand heading to the parking lot.
___
“Jongin, can we talk?” Both males are lying on their bed, maybe it’s the bed that is too wide that they feel so far from each other. Jongin didn’t move an inch. He pretended to be asleep because now is not the time for confrontations.
“I know you’re awake, if you don’t want to talk, just listen to me ‘kay?”
Kyungsoo sighed deeply then started talking.
“You know I love you Jongin, right? But last night I was thinking about us. We were both happy back then but why do I feel that we’re falling apart right now?”
Shoot. That was it. That was it that Jongin was afraid to hear.
“Jongin, what was wrong? If only time is our problem I know we could work it, but I don’t know...” tears started to fall on Kyungsoo’s eyes.
“Jongin I loved you. I love you. I was telling that to myself last night over and over again but... it’s so different. Like it was not natural for me to say anymore. I’m so sorry Jongin. I love you. I promised to love you forever and I would never leave your side no matter what happens. Jongin, I love you” and then he cried. so hard because it was painful not for him but for both of them. he cried so hard until he fell asleep.
It hurts. It cuts so deep. It’s far more painful than what he expected to be. When he realized that his boyfriend was asleep already Jongin got up from bed and went to their bathroom. He washed his face as he stared at himself at the bathroom mirror. He looks horrible. But he didn’t care. Kyungsoo promised that he would love him forever and he would never leave him and that’s what matters. He convinces himself, when in fact he knows Kyungsoo is falling out of love with him. Actions speak louder than words. He smirked. He doesn’t know if Kyungsoo is lying but what he knows is that between two of them he has to be stronger. He has to fight for his love and soon he would win again Kyungsoo’s heart.