Have a nice life. (And by nice, I mean mediocre.)
Today I was browsing Facebook and of COURSE I looked at Dean's profile. His wall is filled with all these flirty comments from girls who go to his new school. Barf.
This kind of thing used to make me so upset. Just knowing that there was a huge possibility that Dean could go elsewhere and find prettier girls, sluttier girls, more convenient girls that would suit his commitment-phobic-emotional-retard self better than I would at a given moment when we were separated--that thought killed me.
But today something was different and I wasn't upset. Grossed out, sure. But it almost made me realize how finished I am with having to worry about such stupid things as that. Is someone who gives you that much legitimate fear actually worth caring about? NOOOOO. And the fact that he's probably looking for sluttier girls should make me even more pleased not to be under his radar.
So today, for once, I actually felt some internal closure without external validation. And it felt goooood.
In other news, I talked to my dad today. Had to call him because we found out about my financial aid (I can still go to school!). Thanks for acknowledging that we haven't talked in a month, Dad. It's funny now when I think back on my childhood and realize that this is actually how it always was, and only now am I getting upset about it. Why is that?
This kind of thing used to make me so upset. Just knowing that there was a huge possibility that Dean could go elsewhere and find prettier girls, sluttier girls, more convenient girls that would suit his commitment-phobic-emotional-retard self better than I would at a given moment when we were separated--that thought killed me.
But today something was different and I wasn't upset. Grossed out, sure. But it almost made me realize how finished I am with having to worry about such stupid things as that. Is someone who gives you that much legitimate fear actually worth caring about? NOOOOO. And the fact that he's probably looking for sluttier girls should make me even more pleased not to be under his radar.
So today, for once, I actually felt some internal closure without external validation. And it felt goooood.
In other news, I talked to my dad today. Had to call him because we found out about my financial aid (I can still go to school!). Thanks for acknowledging that we haven't talked in a month, Dad. It's funny now when I think back on my childhood and realize that this is actually how it always was, and only now am I getting upset about it. Why is that?