You could have called. One of you could have.
Really, I DON'T spend my entire life griping, it just seems that way because I tend to post my gripes here!
But here's the thing:
Two nights ago I ended my daily 72-mile commute, not at home, but at a local deli. The occasion was a kickoff meeting of a committee formed to explore solar-energy conversion at our church.
These are not strangers by any means. We've all known each other over 3 years and served on plenty of committees and other groups together.
During those three years, I believe it SHOULD have become apparent that I show up to things. Plenty of people don't. They either don't RSVP, or they suddenly have something else to do and no-show without calling, or they forget. I do not do any of these. I put the event on my calendars, and show up for the thing. And if something does come up at the last minute (boss visiting, must work late / got sick midday / stuck in traffic / car won't start), I WILL call and let someone know, with an apology. But one way or another, I'm either present or accounted for.
Okay. So I get to the place a little early, call the organizer on my cell, advise via VM that I am at the deli and will go in and get us a table, since there will probably be quite a few of us. I do this, sit down at the nice big table with a pretty view, get menus and order a drink. Then, not having heard from Mr. Organizer, I call his wife. She answers; I go into my spiel about how I'm here, I got us a nice table, and anyone coming in will be able to find it upstairs.
A pause.
Then, "Oh, Mili..."
Uh-oh...
"The meeting was LAST night."
"It wasn't the 21st? I put it on Google Calendar, which automatically finds dates...?????"
"Yes, but didn't you get the other email about the date change?"
"Don't know. Maybe it got into my spam filter."
But at any rate, no, there was not going to be a meeting, so I cancelled the drink order and slunk back to my car, feeling pretty foolish. And hungry -- by that time of the day, you best not be standing between me and the fridge! I hit a fast-food joint on the way home (the deli is upscale and since there was no reason to be there, I wasn't interested in a $20 sandwich, TYVM).
Apparently, the change-of-date email got past me. It was in my in-box but I didn't see it. Maybe because the subject header was "Update," rather than "Change of date," which I definitely would have noticed. Okay, my bad.
But here's what I'm mad about: Half a dozen or more people who KNOW me, and nobody picked up a phone Tuesday night and called, wondering where the hell I was? If they'd called me Tuesday I'd have been at home, and I could have gotten over there in about 20 minutes. I'd have missed part of the meeting, but they took minutes.
I could have been in a wreck, and yes, they know about my interstate commute to work. But nothing.
And that bothers me.
The only thing to do with that anger (other than confront the parties involved, who would most likely reply, "What, you're not a grownup? You expect us to babysit you and keep your calendar?") is to use it going forward. Anytime I'm in a group of people and somebody no-shows, I AM GOING TO CALL AND CHECK ON THEM. I had the opportunity to do this yesterday at work: One of our sales reps, who's a bit older than me, was absent in the early morning, when he's usually on hand, greeting the rest of us and making coffee. Midday, I checked on him and learned that he was making a lot of calls all morning...BUT HE APPRECIATED SOMEONE CHECKING TO BE SURE HE WAS OKAY.
It really is okay to "babysit" people you care about once in awhile, and it would have been nice to know someone cared enough to check on me Tuesday night. And no, I probably will not go forward with the solar-search committee. I don't believe in "signs" as a rule, but I think that was mine.
But here's the thing:
Two nights ago I ended my daily 72-mile commute, not at home, but at a local deli. The occasion was a kickoff meeting of a committee formed to explore solar-energy conversion at our church.
These are not strangers by any means. We've all known each other over 3 years and served on plenty of committees and other groups together.
During those three years, I believe it SHOULD have become apparent that I show up to things. Plenty of people don't. They either don't RSVP, or they suddenly have something else to do and no-show without calling, or they forget. I do not do any of these. I put the event on my calendars, and show up for the thing. And if something does come up at the last minute (boss visiting, must work late / got sick midday / stuck in traffic / car won't start), I WILL call and let someone know, with an apology. But one way or another, I'm either present or accounted for.
Okay. So I get to the place a little early, call the organizer on my cell, advise via VM that I am at the deli and will go in and get us a table, since there will probably be quite a few of us. I do this, sit down at the nice big table with a pretty view, get menus and order a drink. Then, not having heard from Mr. Organizer, I call his wife. She answers; I go into my spiel about how I'm here, I got us a nice table, and anyone coming in will be able to find it upstairs.
A pause.
Then, "Oh, Mili..."
Uh-oh...
"The meeting was LAST night."
"It wasn't the 21st? I put it on Google Calendar, which automatically finds dates...?????"
"Yes, but didn't you get the other email about the date change?"
"Don't know. Maybe it got into my spam filter."
But at any rate, no, there was not going to be a meeting, so I cancelled the drink order and slunk back to my car, feeling pretty foolish. And hungry -- by that time of the day, you best not be standing between me and the fridge! I hit a fast-food joint on the way home (the deli is upscale and since there was no reason to be there, I wasn't interested in a $20 sandwich, TYVM).
Apparently, the change-of-date email got past me. It was in my in-box but I didn't see it. Maybe because the subject header was "Update," rather than "Change of date," which I definitely would have noticed. Okay, my bad.
But here's what I'm mad about: Half a dozen or more people who KNOW me, and nobody picked up a phone Tuesday night and called, wondering where the hell I was? If they'd called me Tuesday I'd have been at home, and I could have gotten over there in about 20 minutes. I'd have missed part of the meeting, but they took minutes.
I could have been in a wreck, and yes, they know about my interstate commute to work. But nothing.
And that bothers me.
The only thing to do with that anger (other than confront the parties involved, who would most likely reply, "What, you're not a grownup? You expect us to babysit you and keep your calendar?") is to use it going forward. Anytime I'm in a group of people and somebody no-shows, I AM GOING TO CALL AND CHECK ON THEM. I had the opportunity to do this yesterday at work: One of our sales reps, who's a bit older than me, was absent in the early morning, when he's usually on hand, greeting the rest of us and making coffee. Midday, I checked on him and learned that he was making a lot of calls all morning...BUT HE APPRECIATED SOMEONE CHECKING TO BE SURE HE WAS OKAY.
It really is okay to "babysit" people you care about once in awhile, and it would have been nice to know someone cared enough to check on me Tuesday night. And no, I probably will not go forward with the solar-search committee. I don't believe in "signs" as a rule, but I think that was mine.