Quirks
Here's an interesting forum-type topic. Describe someone you've known, who seemed to have an obvious, overriding quirk. This would be defined as a habit, belief, preference, or other such characteristic that pervaded their life and had an obvious effect on their relationship with you. This could be addiction, delusion, compulsion, you name it. Was the quirk basically good or bad, or just odd? Did it increase or decrease over time? Did the person eventually come to be seen as "ahead of their time" or "a genius" later on? Did you adopt those quirks as a result of knowing this person ... or did the experience take you in exactly the opposite direction?
Here's one I'll share. My ex-husband didn't like closets or drawers, or curtains or blinds. He liked everything completely open and visible with unbroken lines of sight. I suppose he would draw the line at doors on a bedroom or bathroom, but that was about it. Anytime he had the option of choosing furniture or storage space, it was always the most basic open shelf design possible. He wanted to sell our child's dresser and replace it with the type of metal shelving you see in a garage. He bought several computer desks for himself and our son -- all were "drafting-table" style with no drawers or compartments.
We installed a breakfast bar in our kitchen, with plenty of storage space, but it had nothing covering the shelves. So it was necessary to keep them extremely neat at all times because anyone walking into the kitchen would have a direct sight-line to the shelves; they were the first thing you saw. His favorite architectural trend was from the '90s, when everyone seemed to have glass-fronted cabinet doors. Predictably, he liked all-glass tables rather than wood. When we sold our house at the time of the divorce, the buyer would not agree to the purchase until he installed some doors over the shelving in the breakfast bar. It was that much of an issue. He grudgingly put plywood boards on hinges over the shelves -- it looked awful, but I could understand the buyer's point of view on it as well.
When we started a franchise business, we were in a storefront, and he insisted on having the office at the front of the store, with a large window. The franchisors were horrified - "You have to count large sums of money in here every day, and without blinds on the windows, you're extending an open invitation for someone to rob you." But he countered by saying that whenever he could, he enjoyed the open-office concept, such as at Krispy-Kreme or CNN Center, where you could stand at a window and observe the workings of a business. That was what he wanted to offer the world. No secrets. Nothing hidden.
At times, he criticized me as a "prude" because in intimate moments, I preferred to have the window blinds closed. We had a large picture window in our living room. Granted, it was not a high-traffic area and the houses were far from each other, but it was not out of the question that someone could walk or drive past and see us. This was an area of contention between us (one of many, over 15 years together).
I never questioned this consciously while we were together, but had plenty of opportunity to reflect on it later. Where is the line between "transparency" and "exhibitionism?" I wonder where this came from? I don't believe there were any "secrets" in his home while growing up; his parents always struck me as the most wholesome and harmless of people. I wonder if, later on, he ever addressed this question to himself?
Here's one I'll share. My ex-husband didn't like closets or drawers, or curtains or blinds. He liked everything completely open and visible with unbroken lines of sight. I suppose he would draw the line at doors on a bedroom or bathroom, but that was about it. Anytime he had the option of choosing furniture or storage space, it was always the most basic open shelf design possible. He wanted to sell our child's dresser and replace it with the type of metal shelving you see in a garage. He bought several computer desks for himself and our son -- all were "drafting-table" style with no drawers or compartments.
We installed a breakfast bar in our kitchen, with plenty of storage space, but it had nothing covering the shelves. So it was necessary to keep them extremely neat at all times because anyone walking into the kitchen would have a direct sight-line to the shelves; they were the first thing you saw. His favorite architectural trend was from the '90s, when everyone seemed to have glass-fronted cabinet doors. Predictably, he liked all-glass tables rather than wood. When we sold our house at the time of the divorce, the buyer would not agree to the purchase until he installed some doors over the shelving in the breakfast bar. It was that much of an issue. He grudgingly put plywood boards on hinges over the shelves -- it looked awful, but I could understand the buyer's point of view on it as well.
When we started a franchise business, we were in a storefront, and he insisted on having the office at the front of the store, with a large window. The franchisors were horrified - "You have to count large sums of money in here every day, and without blinds on the windows, you're extending an open invitation for someone to rob you." But he countered by saying that whenever he could, he enjoyed the open-office concept, such as at Krispy-Kreme or CNN Center, where you could stand at a window and observe the workings of a business. That was what he wanted to offer the world. No secrets. Nothing hidden.
At times, he criticized me as a "prude" because in intimate moments, I preferred to have the window blinds closed. We had a large picture window in our living room. Granted, it was not a high-traffic area and the houses were far from each other, but it was not out of the question that someone could walk or drive past and see us. This was an area of contention between us (one of many, over 15 years together).
I never questioned this consciously while we were together, but had plenty of opportunity to reflect on it later. Where is the line between "transparency" and "exhibitionism?" I wonder where this came from? I don't believe there were any "secrets" in his home while growing up; his parents always struck me as the most wholesome and harmless of people. I wonder if, later on, he ever addressed this question to himself?