(no subject)
Ah! I'm at home and my room's freezing and I haven't smoked since Sunday at 5:30 AM so I'm feeling decided emotional withdrawl even though it's only Monday evening and I return back to the city tomorrow afternoon. To be honest with myself I'm feeling pretty shitty despite my euphoric mood following Saturday evening/Sunday morning's activities. And I keep sniffling, so my mother asked me if I've been snorting lots of cocaine. (That's normal....?) On the bright side my parents gave me free reign to purchase things but I ended up being too picky and/or frugal. And since when did I like BCBG Max Ariza....?
Anyway I decided I need to record Saturday evening seeing as it turned into pretty much one of the best nights ever. ("Ever" meaning this month, naturally.) As I mentioned me, Morgan, Romina, C., and B. decided to go on a driving adventure in B.'s stored car uptown rather than go out. Somehow we ended up deciding that it'd be a greatttttt idea to drive to drink tons of Zinfandel (before and in the car...but not B. seeing as he was driving) and drive to Coney Island during the stormy weather. It actually was a "great" idea, though I was fairly sure we were going to get murdered. The boardwalk was closed and it was almost raining when we finally arrived around 11:30 or 12:00 and no one was out except for shady cruisers and gang members. And for some reason we thought it'd be super-okay to dress in over-priced Manhattan-ish clothing and drive an "oh so conspicuous" black Mercedes in the middle of night in an unsavory area. But on the bright side we everyone got tacky Boardwalk/summer food at Nathan's and we played in an empty video arcade and Romina took cute snap-shots.
coney island is scary when empty!!!!
And plus, I was giggly on all that dry wine and Morgan played the best sing-along '90s songs and Breeders in the car on the drive back. Then we dropped Romina off at the loft and went to Steven's for a while with the rest of us to hang out and let C. reuinite with his sex-buddy. Morgan left early and B. and I hung around for a while until we realized they wanted us to leave so they could have sex (at about 4:30 AM).
This was fortunate, as this is when the night became ridiculous great. Up until 4:30 it was just a low-key but still semi-entertaining alcoholic evening. What happened is that I somehow locked myself out of my apartment in the rain. And I had to LEAVE my apartment the next morning by 9:00 AM to make the 10:00 AM bus back home. So B. had his car still at this point (obvs) and I suppose didn't want to sleep either (and plus, when he's high he's always a bit flighty) and decided he wanted to "get food." At this point I was grateful either way seeing as I was locked out and was clearly not going to sleep before I left for home. Anyway, to make a long story short, we drove around for quite a while searching for some place he swore "was open all night and super fun" that I'm fairly sure didn't exist. So we went to the Waverly diner, got stared at, and walked out because he didn't like anything there, including the "environment." And so he decided it'd be a good idea to drive "uptown" to Times Square at 5:00 AM and explore in the doom-storm intense rain. I naturally agreed, as I'm always up for random activities. So we drove around for a while, rolled a joint, decided we wanted to smoke and go to a sex show then changed our minds but still smoked, then got out of the car. We parked it god-knows-where (which later was a problem) and used his massive umbrella to smoke and walk around the VERY bright and lit but virtually empty Times Square at 5:30 AM. Naturally he decided he was still hungry which launched our hour-long search for food. Which basically meant nearly getting blown over by heavy winds and rain, chain-smoking, and snuggling up under the umbrella. Finally he decided (at 6:15 AM) that we could find a hotel and eat there. So we went into a random one looking ridiculous in our obvious "I wore this last night and never slept and look like a crack-head even though my jacket cost 700 dollars (well all his stuff)" clothing (and I looked like a disheveled heroin junkie without a coat after far too many hours in the rain and wayyyyy too much wine/smoke) and asked if they were serving breakfast.
For some reason it took forever for the bellhop to figure it out, but after smoking outside the hotel for a while and unjustifiably smack-talking tourists and acting like spoiled little children we were told we could go upstairs to one of the restaurants. So we go upstairs at 6:30 and we're LITERALLY the only customers there at this large breakfast buffet with a bunch of idle servers. It turned out to be amazing though. The room was on a reasonably high-up floor and was circular and almost the entire room facing Times Square was just glass, giving us a view of everything. Of course at this point we were beginning to be just a tad hungover and sort of just kept ordering everything that was offered and eating none of it. And naturally he paid for it and I convinced him to start having after-parties at rented hotel suites on weekends.
Finally we left breakfast around 8:20 or whenever and began looking for his car.....a search that proved futille. Apparently in our cracked-out state we didn't remember where we'd parked so long ago and were too tired to find it so we just left it and took cabs back. Somehow though I was not surprised....it was very typical B. to just go out and lose a Mercedes. (Though he told me today that he went back and found it today.)
Anyway, now that I've been sitting here writing this it doesn't sound all that exciting, but I suppose it's far less exciting in word than execution. We're going to go to 60 dollar brunches all the time from now on but only in non-cracked out outfits. And I hate to admit this but he wasn't a bad person at all to spend that much time with alone. Surprising much? Though not really because the way I've been talking about him so much lately (I swear it's just because he is the only guy I know who's not a fag) sort of makes me sound (in print) like I've got a massive crush on him even though I don't. But I can't lie and say I wouldn't have kissed him Saturday UGHBGSGBSGS even though we're like brother/sister. Though I don't mind at all snuggling with him and walking with his arm around me under umbrellas. Oh god.......sgsgs. I think maybe I'm just going hormonally nuts and since he's the only guy who's not homosexual that I'm constantly around so it's as though natural selection or some obscure version of survival of the fittest has been employed. I mean I do see straight men that I'd potentially copulate with but I'm toooooo shy to randomly hook-up with anyone unless they're super aggressive because I can't tell if anyone wants to kiss me.
But with B. there's like this underlying sexual tension that's there and I like it. And I mean, if we were going to be "lovers" we would've done so already seeing as it's not like I don't see him all the time and haven't slept next to him many times and blah-blah-blah. So it's just sort of fun because we're both mostly straight and good friends and do things and are close but with no added problems that sex or anything like that carry along. Though I can't tell if he'd ever sleep with me and I want to know but I can just never tell with anyone. So I am curious, especially since I know I would and would end up regretting it. Sometimes I feel like we're dating because of the things we do but we're definitely NOT; it's just because it's the kind of person he is and he'd do the things he does with me (when alone--and for some reason I think I've been hanging out with him alone more lately though not too much) with other people anyway. Though I suppose it makes me look very odd because it's not the kind of person I normally am. Ooops? This is incoherent babbling and I think I should just admit to myself that for some reason that doesn't make sense in the slightest bit I kind of want him (not for a partner--I don't do actual romance) or once again as I've done with the two others males I sort of courted around with and eventually just had a sex-based non-relationship with I merely THINK I want him but really only am after the thrill of the chase and then shortly after realize I'd never even liked them at all. Oh well....I'll see him tomorrow evening and see how I feel. I am so pathetic right now! And probably INCREDIBLY incorrect about everything. The idea of sex or any sort of physical relation between us has most likely never crossed his mind seeing as he is probably either not attracted to me or too permanently convinced of my ice-queen non-sexual status. GSGKSGJS he's so confusing because he's naturally one of those people who hugs everyone and is totally flirty to everyone (guys and girls, hence everyone assuming he's gay). I NEED TO STOP THIS NOW!
Ah so ps if anyone I know from NY read this they'd think I'd gone completely schizo or else am binging on tons of drugs. (None of which is true currently.) I'm supposed to be a non-accesible frigid East Coast ice-queen????
Anyway I decided I need to record Saturday evening seeing as it turned into pretty much one of the best nights ever. ("Ever" meaning this month, naturally.) As I mentioned me, Morgan, Romina, C., and B. decided to go on a driving adventure in B.'s stored car uptown rather than go out. Somehow we ended up deciding that it'd be a greatttttt idea to drive to drink tons of Zinfandel (before and in the car...but not B. seeing as he was driving) and drive to Coney Island during the stormy weather. It actually was a "great" idea, though I was fairly sure we were going to get murdered. The boardwalk was closed and it was almost raining when we finally arrived around 11:30 or 12:00 and no one was out except for shady cruisers and gang members. And for some reason we thought it'd be super-okay to dress in over-priced Manhattan-ish clothing and drive an "oh so conspicuous" black Mercedes in the middle of night in an unsavory area. But on the bright side we everyone got tacky Boardwalk/summer food at Nathan's and we played in an empty video arcade and Romina took cute snap-shots.
coney island is scary when empty!!!!
And plus, I was giggly on all that dry wine and Morgan played the best sing-along '90s songs and Breeders in the car on the drive back. Then we dropped Romina off at the loft and went to Steven's for a while with the rest of us to hang out and let C. reuinite with his sex-buddy. Morgan left early and B. and I hung around for a while until we realized they wanted us to leave so they could have sex (at about 4:30 AM).
This was fortunate, as this is when the night became ridiculous great. Up until 4:30 it was just a low-key but still semi-entertaining alcoholic evening. What happened is that I somehow locked myself out of my apartment in the rain. And I had to LEAVE my apartment the next morning by 9:00 AM to make the 10:00 AM bus back home. So B. had his car still at this point (obvs) and I suppose didn't want to sleep either (and plus, when he's high he's always a bit flighty) and decided he wanted to "get food." At this point I was grateful either way seeing as I was locked out and was clearly not going to sleep before I left for home. Anyway, to make a long story short, we drove around for quite a while searching for some place he swore "was open all night and super fun" that I'm fairly sure didn't exist. So we went to the Waverly diner, got stared at, and walked out because he didn't like anything there, including the "environment." And so he decided it'd be a good idea to drive "uptown" to Times Square at 5:00 AM and explore in the doom-storm intense rain. I naturally agreed, as I'm always up for random activities. So we drove around for a while, rolled a joint, decided we wanted to smoke and go to a sex show then changed our minds but still smoked, then got out of the car. We parked it god-knows-where (which later was a problem) and used his massive umbrella to smoke and walk around the VERY bright and lit but virtually empty Times Square at 5:30 AM. Naturally he decided he was still hungry which launched our hour-long search for food. Which basically meant nearly getting blown over by heavy winds and rain, chain-smoking, and snuggling up under the umbrella. Finally he decided (at 6:15 AM) that we could find a hotel and eat there. So we went into a random one looking ridiculous in our obvious "I wore this last night and never slept and look like a crack-head even though my jacket cost 700 dollars (well all his stuff)" clothing (and I looked like a disheveled heroin junkie without a coat after far too many hours in the rain and wayyyyy too much wine/smoke) and asked if they were serving breakfast.
For some reason it took forever for the bellhop to figure it out, but after smoking outside the hotel for a while and unjustifiably smack-talking tourists and acting like spoiled little children we were told we could go upstairs to one of the restaurants. So we go upstairs at 6:30 and we're LITERALLY the only customers there at this large breakfast buffet with a bunch of idle servers. It turned out to be amazing though. The room was on a reasonably high-up floor and was circular and almost the entire room facing Times Square was just glass, giving us a view of everything. Of course at this point we were beginning to be just a tad hungover and sort of just kept ordering everything that was offered and eating none of it. And naturally he paid for it and I convinced him to start having after-parties at rented hotel suites on weekends.
Finally we left breakfast around 8:20 or whenever and began looking for his car.....a search that proved futille. Apparently in our cracked-out state we didn't remember where we'd parked so long ago and were too tired to find it so we just left it and took cabs back. Somehow though I was not surprised....it was very typical B. to just go out and lose a Mercedes. (Though he told me today that he went back and found it today.)
Anyway, now that I've been sitting here writing this it doesn't sound all that exciting, but I suppose it's far less exciting in word than execution. We're going to go to 60 dollar brunches all the time from now on but only in non-cracked out outfits. And I hate to admit this but he wasn't a bad person at all to spend that much time with alone. Surprising much? Though not really because the way I've been talking about him so much lately (I swear it's just because he is the only guy I know who's not a fag) sort of makes me sound (in print) like I've got a massive crush on him even though I don't. But I can't lie and say I wouldn't have kissed him Saturday UGHBGSGBSGS even though we're like brother/sister. Though I don't mind at all snuggling with him and walking with his arm around me under umbrellas. Oh god.......sgsgs. I think maybe I'm just going hormonally nuts and since he's the only guy who's not homosexual that I'm constantly around so it's as though natural selection or some obscure version of survival of the fittest has been employed. I mean I do see straight men that I'd potentially copulate with but I'm toooooo shy to randomly hook-up with anyone unless they're super aggressive because I can't tell if anyone wants to kiss me.
But with B. there's like this underlying sexual tension that's there and I like it. And I mean, if we were going to be "lovers" we would've done so already seeing as it's not like I don't see him all the time and haven't slept next to him many times and blah-blah-blah. So it's just sort of fun because we're both mostly straight and good friends and do things and are close but with no added problems that sex or anything like that carry along. Though I can't tell if he'd ever sleep with me and I want to know but I can just never tell with anyone. So I am curious, especially since I know I would and would end up regretting it. Sometimes I feel like we're dating because of the things we do but we're definitely NOT; it's just because it's the kind of person he is and he'd do the things he does with me (when alone--and for some reason I think I've been hanging out with him alone more lately though not too much) with other people anyway. Though I suppose it makes me look very odd because it's not the kind of person I normally am. Ooops? This is incoherent babbling and I think I should just admit to myself that for some reason that doesn't make sense in the slightest bit I kind of want him (not for a partner--I don't do actual romance) or once again as I've done with the two others males I sort of courted around with and eventually just had a sex-based non-relationship with I merely THINK I want him but really only am after the thrill of the chase and then shortly after realize I'd never even liked them at all. Oh well....I'll see him tomorrow evening and see how I feel. I am so pathetic right now! And probably INCREDIBLY incorrect about everything. The idea of sex or any sort of physical relation between us has most likely never crossed his mind seeing as he is probably either not attracted to me or too permanently convinced of my ice-queen non-sexual status. GSGKSGJS he's so confusing because he's naturally one of those people who hugs everyone and is totally flirty to everyone (guys and girls, hence everyone assuming he's gay). I NEED TO STOP THIS NOW!
Ah so ps if anyone I know from NY read this they'd think I'd gone completely schizo or else am binging on tons of drugs. (None of which is true currently.) I'm supposed to be a non-accesible frigid East Coast ice-queen????