When I fall
"You and Angel?" Familiar green eyes below a raised eyebrow, and I knew exactly who was in the room with us. It was her. Never went very far without her, ya know? Sure you could stab one of us or have one of us jump off a big ass tower to save a sister that wasn't real, but we always found eachother. "Like I didn't see that one coming." She was givin' me that look she usually gave me. The vaguelly disappointed but not surprised look.
"You pissed?" I asked in a hoarse voice as I sat up on the mattress and pulled the comforter around my naked form. "You shouldn't be. You know it's always been about you." Nothin' like a little death to bring out the brutal honesty in a couple superchicks huh?
"I can't lie, I wanted to be." She said with a shrug, as her eyes trailed back to Angel's sleeping form laying on the bed. "But I'm not. You both deserve a little happiness. Anyways that's not why I'm here."
"No?"
"It's your turn, Faith. Little Miss Muffet, remember? Counting down from 7-3-0? The time for the sun is over, now it's time for darkness to shine. You know what you have to do."
"Could you vague that up for me, B?" Raising an eyebrow at her, I watched as the green sparkled and pale hair shone in the bright sunlight streaming through the window.
"It's not about me. Not anymore, Faith."
With a start, I sat up in bed and let my eyes take in the sunlight that was barely streamin' in around the edges of the wicked girly curtains Wes had hangin' up in his bedroom. Just curtains. Curtains, and clothes, and Wesley's things but no Buffy.
Damn. That was a hell of a dream for real. Ya know, that's the thing about these slayer dreams. No matter how long you had 'em, no matter what you see in 'em, they always throw you for a serious loop. Leavin' you all shaky and sweaty instead of just up and pumped like I usually was when I woke up at around the crack of noon. And I just had to have a dream about her. Almost made me wonder if those powers that screw with you sittin' in their big fancy power clouds or whatever the fuck were tryin' to make me pay. Pay for that one second of forgetting. One moment of shivering quaking bliss, tingling from your toes all the way up to your fucking scalp and back again. Such a small moment if you really thought about it. Didn't seem fair. Then again, when had things in my life ever been fair? Somehow I don't think the ptbs are really givin' a shit about Faith now or ever.
A small smile tainted the corners of my lips as I looked down at the sleeping face next to me. Hey, I'd done one thing right. Hadn't killed Soul Boy, let him help me on the road to redemption or whatever the hell it was I was doin'. Because if I had? Well, I'd be shit outta luck right about now.
So weird when you thought about it. Almost my whole life I got nothin' right? No pals, no doting mom, no kid sis hangin' off my shirt worshippin' every damn thing I did or say. Naw. Just got me. For awhile it was all I needed, and then I meet B and Angel, and the rest of the good guys. And I could never see a way in for me, not with Buffy around. So I tried to kill Angel, and he finally got through to me. Told me he could help me, set me on the right path and I guess I just never had anyone else do that for me before. By the time I got outta jail things were mad different. First time ever? I didn't wanna be alone. Which worked out wicked good considerin' the first mackdaddy of all evil needed to be smacked down and B really didn't have a choice but let me back into her little gang of scoobies.
When B....when Buffy died, I gotta say I didn't have one fucking clue what to do. It was weird, cause when I left Cleveland I didn't know where I was even goin'. Didn't know til I ended up in L.A. lookin' for Angel. Now I'd found him, now I didn't have to be alone anymore.
Plus the superpower sex? Got no complaints at all, and good for me I apparently couldn't give him a happy like B could. Weird when you thought about it. That thought shouldn't make me jealous, should make me overwhelmingly happy that I wasn't gonna have to stake a psycho. But it made me jealous anyway. I could have his body, but Buffy'd always have his heart. Even though she was dead and gone she was still here, like the ghost sleepin' between us in Wesley's bed.
With a frown, I pulled the comforter back as Angel turned over in his sleep and mumbled a little bit before gettin' quiet again. When he seemed to have drifted back off I pulled on my leather pants and top and started searchin' around for a comb. Opening the nightstand drawer I stopped short when I saw what was in it. A drawing. Some kinda artsy sketch thing. Hell, I never even finished high school and I wouldn't know good art if someone showed it to me, but I knew enough to recognize what it was. It was a pencil sketch of me. Sitting on the bed naked, a cigarette pressed between two fingers and a slight smirk on my face. My eyes went from the paper over to Angel's back and then back to the paper again. He'd stayed up after I went to bed and drawn this. Almost made a girl get wicked sappy.
Almost.
A small smile played over my mouth as I stuck the piece of paper back in the drawer and closed it quietly. Snaking a cigarette out of my back pocket, I lit it up before walking out through the kitchen and onto the back porch. Sitting on the steps, I watched the surf of the ocean crash against the shore. Digging my toes into the sand I let the sun warm my feet as I waited for night to fall.
"You pissed?" I asked in a hoarse voice as I sat up on the mattress and pulled the comforter around my naked form. "You shouldn't be. You know it's always been about you." Nothin' like a little death to bring out the brutal honesty in a couple superchicks huh?
"I can't lie, I wanted to be." She said with a shrug, as her eyes trailed back to Angel's sleeping form laying on the bed. "But I'm not. You both deserve a little happiness. Anyways that's not why I'm here."
"No?"
"It's your turn, Faith. Little Miss Muffet, remember? Counting down from 7-3-0? The time for the sun is over, now it's time for darkness to shine. You know what you have to do."
"Could you vague that up for me, B?" Raising an eyebrow at her, I watched as the green sparkled and pale hair shone in the bright sunlight streaming through the window.
"It's not about me. Not anymore, Faith."
With a start, I sat up in bed and let my eyes take in the sunlight that was barely streamin' in around the edges of the wicked girly curtains Wes had hangin' up in his bedroom. Just curtains. Curtains, and clothes, and Wesley's things but no Buffy.
Damn. That was a hell of a dream for real. Ya know, that's the thing about these slayer dreams. No matter how long you had 'em, no matter what you see in 'em, they always throw you for a serious loop. Leavin' you all shaky and sweaty instead of just up and pumped like I usually was when I woke up at around the crack of noon. And I just had to have a dream about her. Almost made me wonder if those powers that screw with you sittin' in their big fancy power clouds or whatever the fuck were tryin' to make me pay. Pay for that one second of forgetting. One moment of shivering quaking bliss, tingling from your toes all the way up to your fucking scalp and back again. Such a small moment if you really thought about it. Didn't seem fair. Then again, when had things in my life ever been fair? Somehow I don't think the ptbs are really givin' a shit about Faith now or ever.
A small smile tainted the corners of my lips as I looked down at the sleeping face next to me. Hey, I'd done one thing right. Hadn't killed Soul Boy, let him help me on the road to redemption or whatever the hell it was I was doin'. Because if I had? Well, I'd be shit outta luck right about now.
So weird when you thought about it. Almost my whole life I got nothin' right? No pals, no doting mom, no kid sis hangin' off my shirt worshippin' every damn thing I did or say. Naw. Just got me. For awhile it was all I needed, and then I meet B and Angel, and the rest of the good guys. And I could never see a way in for me, not with Buffy around. So I tried to kill Angel, and he finally got through to me. Told me he could help me, set me on the right path and I guess I just never had anyone else do that for me before. By the time I got outta jail things were mad different. First time ever? I didn't wanna be alone. Which worked out wicked good considerin' the first mackdaddy of all evil needed to be smacked down and B really didn't have a choice but let me back into her little gang of scoobies.
When B....when Buffy died, I gotta say I didn't have one fucking clue what to do. It was weird, cause when I left Cleveland I didn't know where I was even goin'. Didn't know til I ended up in L.A. lookin' for Angel. Now I'd found him, now I didn't have to be alone anymore.
Plus the superpower sex? Got no complaints at all, and good for me I apparently couldn't give him a happy like B could. Weird when you thought about it. That thought shouldn't make me jealous, should make me overwhelmingly happy that I wasn't gonna have to stake a psycho. But it made me jealous anyway. I could have his body, but Buffy'd always have his heart. Even though she was dead and gone she was still here, like the ghost sleepin' between us in Wesley's bed.
With a frown, I pulled the comforter back as Angel turned over in his sleep and mumbled a little bit before gettin' quiet again. When he seemed to have drifted back off I pulled on my leather pants and top and started searchin' around for a comb. Opening the nightstand drawer I stopped short when I saw what was in it. A drawing. Some kinda artsy sketch thing. Hell, I never even finished high school and I wouldn't know good art if someone showed it to me, but I knew enough to recognize what it was. It was a pencil sketch of me. Sitting on the bed naked, a cigarette pressed between two fingers and a slight smirk on my face. My eyes went from the paper over to Angel's back and then back to the paper again. He'd stayed up after I went to bed and drawn this. Almost made a girl get wicked sappy.
Almost.
A small smile played over my mouth as I stuck the piece of paper back in the drawer and closed it quietly. Snaking a cigarette out of my back pocket, I lit it up before walking out through the kitchen and onto the back porch. Sitting on the steps, I watched the surf of the ocean crash against the shore. Digging my toes into the sand I let the sun warm my feet as I waited for night to fall.