(Untitled)

[__angel]

I thought I was a hero, I've been told that I was, that I am, but I don't feel it. If I was, then five weeks ago, I would have been able to save my friends. Three weeks ago was the last, when Wesley died. I was there with him until the end, he even had a shot before he went, my scotch, except he poured something in it, something that would make the

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[__angel]

I watched her as she got up from the bed, looking for something. Probably her pants which I was right. For her cigarettes. I looked around the room to keep my eyes off of her and it hit me that we just ... in Wes' bed. I mean, not that it matters because Wes is ... gone, but still it's the fact that we ... or is it? Doesn't matter. It doesn't, because Wes is gone.

Felt the bed shift and I looked over at her ... and her naked body as she inhaled her cigarette and ashed in the vase that Wes got from Virginia years ago. I just smiled a little and shook my head, "Thinking?" Like I can think after that. Only, I was. I was thinking about alot of things, I just didn't want to tell her.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked her, turning on my side and lifting the comforter up a little, covering the lower half of my body. Didn't seem like she minded, not that I could blame her. I didn't want this to get awkward, this was Faith, there shouldn't be anything to get awkward about. Except the fact that I am supposed to be her friend and help her through the redemption process, but that was years ago, this is now. Maybe things have changed, that wise, but she'd always be my friend and I'd do anything to help her. We both know what this was about and it wasn't about making love, or being in love, probably never would be.

[wickedslayer]

What was I thinkin' about? Way to turn the question around on me, Soul Boy. I wasn't quite that retarded yet....I thought anyways. Like I wouldn't notice that shit he tried to pull on me. Narrowing my eyes I took another drag off of my smoke as I watched him pull the covers over the lower half of his naked body. Why would he wanna hide something like that for real? I still hadn't made a move to put on any clothes or shield myself. And every once in awhile I saw him stealing a glance at my body, not that I could blame the boy. I was hot yo! Thing that killed me was the regret in his eyes. But he always had regret in his eyes. It was just his Angel thing.

I shrugged non-chalantly at his question. "I leave the thinkin' to the big brains. I'm more a heavy lifter usually." I winked at him slyly, tryin' to lighten the mood as I puffed away on my cigarette. "And wicked suave tryin' to turn the question around on me, like I wouldn't notice that or anything." I said sarcastically as I ashed my stoge in the vase. It was a pretty vase. Kinda girly, then again Wes was British. Was. Cause he was dead now and we'd just fucked in his bed.

Apparently I was gonna be large with the irony tonight. Damn, it was so depressing. And I tried. Someone had to give me credit for tryin'. Took him out to kill things, hoping that'd make it better. Then I fucked him, hoping that would make him better. Nothing ever made it better. When was it gonna be better?

[__angel]

I think she noticed me staring at her body every now and then, I saw the look in her face when we both looked at eachother. Heavy lifter? I shifted on the bed and wondered if she was talking about me. Was I really that heavy? Not that I minded, but if I was getting a little bigger, I'd need to work on that. I chuckled a little and turned on my side facing her. "Wasn't suave, just ... okay, so suave maybe," I told her. I couldn't really think beyond that she was naked in front of me, smoking a cigarette and her hair was perfectly falling around her face and I realized that I would want to draw this ... but I can't. She, I don't think she'd like that.

Not that it was a big deal or anything, but she would probably think it was and think I was falling in love with her or something. I just wanted to appreciate her beauty ... Shaking my head, I smiled shyly and looked down before reaching my hand out and sliding my fingers down her arm. My eyes slowly looked at her face again and she was looking at me, so I took my hand away.

"Anyway, I have some money in my wallet ..." I saw the look on her face and I held my hand up, "For food, for tomorrow. I can't go out into the sun, still, so maybe you can find a place that's open, you may have to go more into town, but you should be able to find someplace that's open."

[wickedslayer]

Glanced down at the hand sliding over my arm non-chalantly refusing to let the small smile that wanted to spread over my lips actually do just that. Instead I kept my expression neutral so that he woudln't notice. He seemed to pick up on weird stuff though. I mean, wasn't it already weird enough that he had a photographic memory? That was like cheating as far as I was concerned.

When he told me he had money in his wallet a shocked expression crossed my face. Had Angel really just.....but he managed to correct himself before I hauled off and slugged him. Trust me, not many people got away with talkin' to me like that. Well, no one since I wouldn't even let Angel get away with it.

"Open? Angel....what the fuck are you talkin' about? There's not that many people left in L.A. are there?" There had been nothing open all the way from Cleveland to L.A. that I'd seen. And by nothing, I did mean nothing. Wasn't exagerating, because everyone was dead. Now it was all about the want take have. Funny how that philosophy had crept right back up on me. "Money seems kinda useless now."

[__angel]

There had to be some places open, I mean, shouldn't there be? Hell, I don't know. I just go to the hospital from time to time to get blood ... but what happens when that runs out? I have to go and find me an animal and ... kill it, which, I could do, it just gets really messy.

"Yeah, I guess you're right, but I mean, well, no. You're right." Money is useless right now. I don't know what she's going to do for food, but I guess we'll cross that when we come to it.

"It .. was just a thought," I told her as I watched her face. She looked tired, like she could and would sleep for days. Me? I was happy in my own way, not in the I'm going to lose my soul way, but still, happy. That she was here. This is something that worked out for the better, even though there was nothing but misery all around us. We both saw so much and now we're going to see it all together.

Sounds kind of poetic. Not that I ... like that sort of thing.

[prodigal_slayer]

Couldn't help the smile that crept over my face at the concern he had for me. I was concerned about him too kinda. I mean, the hospital was only gonna have blood for so long til he was gonna be forced to get it elsewhere. Could still see him in that trippy Orpheus flashback thing we did. Him rooting through garbage in back alleys, feasting on rats. Wicked nasty.

But me? I'd get by. I always did, right? Kinda my strong suit, makin' shit work out when it didn't seem possible like at all. It was wicked cute that he was bein' all concerned about me though.

"You don't have to worry about me, Soul Boy. Plenty of canned food to be had in the stores across the country. And when that runs out? Well, then I'll just figure out something."

But honestly I was beat. I'd just had the longest trip ever from Cleveland to L.A. and had I mentioned yet that I had to walk? Plus when I swung into town I came straight to Wesley's place and went off to kill demons with Angel. There was also nothin' like hot superhero sex to wipe a girl out for real.

Butting out my cigarette in the vase I slid between the sheets in Wesley's bed and rested my head on the pillow. My eyes closed briefly before I opened them again and saw Angel lookin' at me.

"Aren't you tired?" I asked him.

[__angel]

Yeah, I guess we'd or well, she'd be living on canned food and alot of it. I suppose we should move ... somewhere else when it got really bad or something, we'd think of that when it came down to it. I watched her put out her cigarette and then lay down. Her eyes closed and I just kept my eyes on her, even when she opened her eyes.

"Me? Tired ... yeah, I guess," I said and rolled onto my back, then looked at the ceiling. I waited for her to shift again and get into a position that she'd fall asleep in. When I heard her heartbeat slow down, I knew she was sleeping. I got myself out of bed slowly, then walked over to the chair that was in the corner of the room. Grabbing a piece of paper and a pencil that was in the drawer, I laid it on my lap and started to draw her. Every line, peice of hair, everything that she was right now, was on the paper.

When I was finally finished, I stuck the paper and pencil back in the drawer and got back in bed, pulling the comforter over me and rolling on my side, facing away from her before drifting off to sleep.