(no subject)
Last night I went to the backdoor open mic night. I was pretty good, and I was having fun for a lil' while, but somewhere in there I strarted feelin kinda unhappy and out of place and like i wanted to leave. The music was fine, there were lots of people i knew there, and i few that jus knew me, but i just felt like i didnt belong. I seem to do that alot now when I'm at shows or sumthin in Nyack. I feel like I'm just be tolerated and not really accepted. The only thing that kept me smiling for the most part was seeing jen.. though she wasn't feelin too well either.
When I got home, i just felt really shitty. I was tired, but not sleepy.. so i just changed the strings on all my guitars and sat n listened to my Stereo.. I'm starting to get the feeling I don't really wanna be "here" anymore... I dunno what to do. I thought i was making progress with myself, trying to think positive about myself and my future.. but now i don't know what to think. I dont want to do anything today, i wanna just sleep and not wake up. But thanx to band practice i cant. To think something that seemed like such an amazing idea when i first suggested it to Timmy a while back could turn into one of my biggest burdens.. I dunno.. maybe I'll say I'm sick.. no i can't do that.. whatever, i'll just go... I'ma go get ready to leave.
I'm Out.
When I got home, i just felt really shitty. I was tired, but not sleepy.. so i just changed the strings on all my guitars and sat n listened to my Stereo.. I'm starting to get the feeling I don't really wanna be "here" anymore... I dunno what to do. I thought i was making progress with myself, trying to think positive about myself and my future.. but now i don't know what to think. I dont want to do anything today, i wanna just sleep and not wake up. But thanx to band practice i cant. To think something that seemed like such an amazing idea when i first suggested it to Timmy a while back could turn into one of my biggest burdens.. I dunno.. maybe I'll say I'm sick.. no i can't do that.. whatever, i'll just go... I'ma go get ready to leave.
I'm Out.