[[Private Entry]]
Hmmm... First therapy session since Angel and I completely sorted out our differences. Dr. Louise was congratulatory, and attempted to pry details from me which made me possibly more uncomfortable than it should have? I'm not exactly sure why, since I've made it a point to be up front with her as much as I can. But when a fifty-something woman is asking you detailed questions about your sex life... There's something a bit wrong about that, I'm not quite sure.
Of course as we continued talking, me skirting some of her more prying questions, she stopped me and asked if I'd told Angel about my past, my 'issues' (I absolutely hate that phrasing) and I had to admit that no, I hadn't. I imagine she knows about the various cases involved, because I doubt there's anyone in law enforcement who doesn't know about DL-6, especially considering the recent trend of spirit medium related cases. And of course she would have been more than gleeful to see me on trial for murder, I'm sure. Perhaps even happier when Manfred von Karma ended up in prison instead? I hope so.
In any case, Dr. Louise, like so many of the women in my life, seems to delight in making me uncomfortable. Of course she was deadly serious about this... I made a promise that I would tell Angel... Dr. Louise attempted to tell me again, for the thousandth goddamn time, that openness is important in any relationship. She doesn't exactly seem to understand, despite my trying to explain, that Angel is just as closed up as I am in some strange way. And even though there are things I'd like to know, I really don't feel like putting her on the spot to answer my questions... Nor do I think she would.
But somehow Louise pried from me a promise that if the opportunity came up, I would both ask and answer all the questions that needed asking and answering. The truth. Well it's certainly something I believe in. But truth begets more truth and I'm afraid that the truth of the fact that I'm broken in several important ways will reveal the truth that Angel can't deal with that. Besides that, I've never been very good at being open about how I feel.
Bah, it doesn't matter. Perhaps it will go better than I think it will. She's always surprising me. Sometimes in a good way.
Then there's Gant. I'm really quite curious about her visits to him... What kind of closure it's giving her, if any at all. More because I'm wondering whether... Well, I haven't brought it up in session yet, but I wonder if I shouldn't... before he dies... visit Manfred von Karma. Just to see if I can find any answers. Then wash my hands of him. Maybe now I'd be a bit more ready. Time may be running out...