full disclosure

[mildsensation]

A real update? We shall see...

I need to find a job. Not just because I am quickly becoming really broke but mostly for my own sanity. The following things are not okay:

• My relationship with the internet is unhealthy. It all started with watching tv shows. I've caught up on all tv that I could possibly catch up on except for gilmore girls, but that's not for lack of trying. The last few links on sidereel.com for the last season just don't want to work. I don't feel like I should subject some of our rentals and jack to just the last disk or two of the last season of gilmore girls. But it may come to that. I became briefly obsessed/weirded out by Kid Nation. I just can't imagine being a parent and signing my kid up for that sort of thing. I won't go in to every site visited and the exact amount of time wasted because I fear actual ridicule. In the past 24 hours some time has been spent on YouTube. I came upon nerdfighters -  these two brothers one of which is an author (John Green I think is is name) who only communicate through video blogs (or vlogs as the kids say). It's pretty funny and they are quite intelligent but maybe I'm just brainwashed.
  
• Speaking of brainwashed. On my time on the internet I saw some videos about scientology. It's totally crazy. Totally crazy. It's like Nazism for profit I think. But reading about it freaked me out a little. Tom Cruise too. He's completely out of touch with reality.
  
• Since Jack has started school I'm home by myself for hours at a time. Eventually every little sound starts to make me paranoid that one to two of the following will happen: (a) the gas heater will not actually ignite and just leak into the apartment causing the cats and I to get carbon monoxide poisoning, (b) when I turn the gas stove on to boil some water for tea it will in fact blow up and if I'm not killed I will be horribly maimed forever, (c) some crazy person will see the unassuming alone female in her apartment and break the giant window and attack her and steal her cats for some reason. Now, I don't really think that any of these will happen, but your mind has a way of freaking you out when you've been staring at a screen for too long and the only animate interaction you've had is taking pictures of your adorable cats.
• I am completely obsessed with my cats. In no way is this healthy. If you knew how many pictures I've actually taken of them you'd never want to talk to me. Or perhaps you'd only talk to me in well-lit public places.
  

I guess I'm glad I haven't spent hours on WebMD finding lurking ailments that I most surely do not have but will undoubtedly convince myself I am suffering from.

I'm not saying I don't like it here. I love it here. Being with Jack everyday is fantastic. Leaving San Antonio felt really nice. Finding new places to go is exciting. But, I think I'm ready for the next transition phase. The one where I find a job and a routine starts to develop. I am very much a creature of habit. I like schedules and agendas and itineraries. And although I love having free time, I am definitely ready to get off the couch. Speaking of, buying furniture makes you feel more grown up I think. Granted it's pre-fabricated IKEA furniture, but nonetheless, I finally felt a little older. Which is weird. Buying a fancy coffee maker too. This is the one we bought today. It has a water filter in it! Although, the first pot I made, I forgot to put it in. Typical.

Oddly enough I'm looking forward to the week-ish worth of rain. I'm hoping it will knock out the Cedar pollen that has been tormenting my life for the past two and a half weeks. Seriously. The entire month of January thus far I have been a congested mess. But I think it might be getting better. *knocks on wood*

I need music suggestions please!