NY Times Sports Review: A Magic Touch, Michael "Fairy" Corner
From an obscure freshman fashion design student to football professional, Manchester United's newest eye-candy, Michael Corner, or affectionately known as "fairy" by other team members, has this to say about his success: "Well it was all by accident really, I was supposed to go on summer vacation with old school friends for a study trip around the world but then I got into s**t and was sent to live with a [temporary] foster family and just do stuff with them. And my foster father (Granger) was a real football fanatic [and he always] wanted a son, so I guess that's where I come in."
Though that hardly explains Corner's immediate success on the field. Corner humbly points his achievements to his coach and part-time father, Mr. Granger. Granger, who had to give up professional football due to a motor accident during college, owns a dentistry in London and has taken time off from his clinic to fulfil his life long dream, that is to reenter professional football and has been monitoring his foster son's physical and athletic regime very closely. Taking control of Corner's nutrition with the support of a team of elite sport dieticians and scheduling sessions of at least six hours off-field training, Granger admits to being somewhat too pushy in trying to get the best out of Corner. However, the physically exhausted youth is uncomplaining and claims that as a child of two to a single-mother who is rarely at home, he is now trying to catch up on the fatherly-bond that he had "always wondered about".
However, the controlling lifestyle that the former football player has created for his foster son has led many to believe that he is trying to live out his dreams on a younger projection of himself. Corner disagrees with critics who think that his father is allowing him to grow as an individual, claiming that prior to this he had never experienced discipline harsh enough to make him seriously consider the consequences of his actions and a restrictive father is probably something that has been "just the thing he needs", admitting that he used to get into trouble at least twice a month from authorities and has even camped in a teacup in Disneyland for nearly two months! What Makes Him so Good:
"Well, I guess I've got the magic touch"
Despite this bad boy image, young Corner has attracted the fury of various outraged Christian fundamentalists for reasons other than juvenile misdemeanour. Parents and fundamentalists fear that the star's dubious reaction to female fans, lack of a steady girlfriend and public off-field images of him wearing fairy wings supports something that is fundamentally evil as well as suggests to young girls of a pagan lifestyle. Corner shrugs and says that he "would like to tell fundamentalists where to go" and he would very well like to remove his wings but it has been "genetically fused to my shoulder blades by the evil sorceress Lady Greensleaves". At this point Corner looks slightly upset and excuses himself to the bathroom where he did not return. Days later I receive a parcel with a letter apologising for his behaviour and a pair of custom made fairy wings.
I had to grab this off someone