New Annie (4/11)
Title: New Annie
Author: robert3A-SN on ff.net
Character/pairing: Annie, Jeff, the study group, original character
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3,136 words for chapter 4, 16,401 words through four chapters
Genres: Romance, drama, angst, friendship
Summary: Annie begins her self-imposed sabbatical away from Jeff, Alison and study group adventures as the school year begins.
Disclaimer: If I owned Community, there never would have been a three-month hiatus, but I don’t and there was.
A/N: This is an AU story in which all the events after “Contemporary Impressionists” never happened. Neither did all the schmoopy J/A moments afterwards or Annie’s Dreamatorium speech about not loving Jeff - which makes it [slightly] easier to buy Jeff having a non-Annie girlfriend, and Annie being more emotional about Jeff than she is on the show now.
This chapter is also at http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8097116/4/, although feedback is encouraged to be left on here. Even feedback about me crushing your souls and wishing awful things upon me for the angst and the premise alone. Yet the angst finally begins to let up a little in this chapter - so don’t worry, reading this will not totally erase last night’s euphoria for you.
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3
When Annie returned home, she wasn’t surprised that Troy and Abed had read her e-mail - or that Troy was pleading that he didn’t want Annie to die. But it took six minutes - four less than Annie anticipated - to convince him that she wasn’t dying. She was just taking a break from the group until she knew she wouldn’t be affected by Jeff and Alison anymore.
Abed was surprised that Annie hadn’t starred in her own drug addiction parody episode until now. He always thought she was a more ideal lead for that kind of satire than Britta, after all. But Annie was a little ticked that he compared this heartbreaking ordeal to a TV plotline, nonetheless. She even yelled if he realized that she was abandoning the study group because of her stupid Jeff issues.
But Abed recalled that she wasn’t abandoning the group. She was still living with two group members, and her pdf said she still wanted to hang out with three more later on. He seemed thankful to her for putting that unique twist on the drug detox satire genre. Which Annie took to mean something sweeter in Abed language.
For that, Annie cried her remaining tears for the night on Abed’s stiff shoulders. At the least, 20 percent of those tears were of relief for still having some dear friends left.
Annie gave Abed her phone and instructed him to delete any calls and texts Jeff left. She also asked him to text Britta, Shirley and Pierce and say she’d talk to them later on - as long as they didn’t tell Jeff they would talk to her. After three more minutes of Troy thanking her for not dying yet, Annie finally went to bed - hoping no one who didn’t live here would come to wake her up.
To her relief, she got a full night’s sleep without Jeff barging in - and Jeff was nowhere in the apartment or in the halls either. After double and triple checking the area, she was relieved enough to start planning her talks with Britta, Shirley and Pierce.
To ensure that Jeff couldn’t have them followed on the way to the apartment, she conference called Britta, Shirley and Pierce instead. After making sure none of them had Jeff in their house, Annie felt free to explain herself to them. Britta asked if this meant she had to take Alison out for her - which she was 60 percent willing to do. Shirley wanted to know if this was really about her and Alison outnumbering Annie, like they would in Heaven. But once Annie assured her she did this so she wouldn’t become an adulterer, Shirley cheered that there was hope for her yet.
Pierce, on the other hand, wanted to tell Jeff to just bang Annie and get it over with. Before Annie could yell at him, Pierce explained that if it would keep around his favorite and the only supporter he had in the group, it was worth a good banging. Despite the crude words, the intent behind them still made Annie cry a few leftover tears.
When she was fully composed, Annie explained that she would keep e-mailing everyone notes - which helped pacify Britta and Shirley a lot more. She wouldn’t come to the study room or take part in group adventures, however. And she would wait two-three weeks to hang out with the others again, once she was more used to her new schedule and Jeff was less likely to follow them towards Annie.
But she still didn’t want them to bring Jeff or Alison up then at all, at least until she was ready to come back. Yet she couldn’t tell them when that might be - especially since she herself had no idea.
Above all, she stressed that she didn’t want them to give Jeff or Alison a hard time with any of this. It was Annie’s problem and her own fault, not theirs, so she didn’t want them to hear anything about it. She knew for a fact that she was telling the truth, yet it might still take a while to truly believe it in her heart. Hopefully that would be a side effect of the rehab.
Afterwards, Annie spent the next few days trying to distract herself with school preparations, one or two final talks with Britta, Shirley and Pierce, and a few lockdown moments where Troy and Abed hid her phone in case Jeff called. Annie didn’t want to know if he called or texted, yet she was relieved he hadn’t shown up at her door either. Perhaps Alison did get through to him and convinced him to give her space…..although it was too risky to even think about that right now. At least in the opening stages of treatment.
It was also hard enough driving back to Greendale on the first day of school. Annie had to find a far enough parking spot away from her friends, then stayed in her car so she’d be one of the last ones to go inside. That was sickening enough, to say nothing of following her new walking route away from the study room. But she narrowly avoided thinking about Jeff and the others in that room, voting Alison into the group with Annie’s endorsement. At least too much.
The horrors continued when she was one of the last people to enter the English 101 classroom. To her relief, Annie still found a seat that was far enough away from everyone in the group. Just to be safe, she thoroughly buried her face into her English textbooks - even more than usual - to avoid taking even a glance at anyone she knew.
This got even harder during lunch, when Annie had to find the furthest table possible to sit in. But to get lunch without getting blindsided, she had to wait until the group got their lunch - which meant she’d have to look at them at some point. She just stayed at her table for 10 minutes before finally looking at the group table. Just to see if they were eating.
One quick glance told her that they did have food. And it also told her that Alison was sitting with the group - next to Jeff. Obviously the vote passed and she was in the group now. Right next to Jeff. With that, Annie left her new table in a rush, barely staying quiet as she went to get her lunch.
When she came back, she ate quietly, tried to read her new books and avoided talking to anyone. It was all too much like every single lunch she ever ate in high school - except she had much less food on her tray. Nevertheless, it took Annie back to a lonely, unpopular, miserable time she thought was finally over and done with.
Yet she was back there now by choice. Even though people did want her to be with them and eat with them now, she was staying away anyway. And it was all just because one of them would now never want her as much as she once dreamed of. Foolishly, at that.
Annie forced herself not to cry and make a scene for him, her and them to notice on the first day. This sadness was actually a good thing, if she thought objectively. The more horrible she felt about being away from him and them, the more she’d make sure she didn’t act out and get jealous - and then lose Jeff and everyone else forever - when she came back. And the only way it would stick was if she kept it up as long as she needed to, however long that might be.
She kept telling herself that at home, when Troy and Abed started raving about the “best semester premiere ever” until they noticed Annie. She kept telling herself that when she e-mailed the group her English notes, then had to give Troy and Abed her laptop and phone to delete any Jeff or group e-mails. She kept it up when she sat alone at lunch, when she wouldn’t look at any of them in English, and when talking to Troy and Abed at home wasn’t enough to fill the Jeff, Britta, Shirley or even Pierce gap.
Annie still needed a few weeks before talking to her other friends. Then in theory, Jeff would no longer be likely to spy on them, and Annie might stop hoping that he cared that much. So she threw herself into as much work as she could to pass the time. Of course, it was barely safe to go into the library - even the furthest one away from the study room, in case Jeff thought to stake that out. Yet she navigated her way through Greendale and somehow wasn’t caught by any of her friends.
After almost a month of isolation from them, Annie still wasn’t distracted enough. She needed a really good, busy activity that would fulfill her without needing Jeff in any way. Unfortunately, this made her pick the first activity she could find - debate. Something she only remembered the pratfalls of after she signed up.
So Annie went to the Dean and begged him not to recruit Jeff to join again. It was even harder since the infamous Jeremy Simmons would be captaining City College once more, and the Dean had already started work on Winger-Simmons shirtless rematch posters.
Annie admirably avoided looking at them and finally forced Dean Pelton not to recruit Jeff, or to accept his offer if he volunteered. Otherwise a few certain instances of e-mail hacking would be brought to light. After the Dean finally accepted that Jeff wouldn’t be his lawyer in his trial, he managed to give in.
But Annie still needed another partner, so she tried to find one without many connections to Jeff or the group. Leonard would have made the cut if not for the “Shut up, Leonard!” running gag, and Neil reminded Annie too much of one of Jeff’s most selfless acts. Therefore, she had no choice but to recruit Garrett, as damaging as that might be to their victory chances. Yet his shrill, out of breath voice might make Simmons’s ears as handicapped as his legs, so there was that comforting thought.
It wasn’t so comforting when Annie actually had to work with him to prepare. Even 13 rallies hadn’t cured what was wrong with him, and Annie had no time to organize a 14’th. So she did most of her prep work on her own - although maybe that was for the best.
Who know how working with someone closely on a debate - even Garrett - would trigger certain old memories? Memories that looked so good, heartwarming and butterfly inducing, before Annie knew the terrible ending it was leading towards?
Of course this could all be traced back to the first impulsive, childish, stupid move she ever made on Jeff. If she never kissed him at debate #1, this would have all been avoided and Jeff would be just another study partner to her. Or if Abed never made that blasted movie saying they would kiss….or if Shirley never told them about it….or if Annie never let down her hair…..
Wait, that was before any romantic messes came up. Five seconds before then, in fact.
And she only did that when he said….
“But if you want to win, you need to loosen up! Go off book, robot debater!”
And she did. Regardless of how she did it, she did it. She loosened up, which was the first step she took towards loosening up in other areas too. And when she did, she gained so many things other than having Jeff so close to her. She gained balance in her life, she gained the ability to live with insane roommates…..she became happier the more open she was….
And she had Jeff to start opening the door for her. And none of it had to do with romance, repressed feelings, denial or things that may or may not have been there. It was about him helping her realize an important life lesson, even if it was just because he wanted to kick Simmons’s chair in back then.
But he only finally wanted to kick his chair in because he trashed Annie. Not even a parking spot made him that motivated to win. He just wanted to fight for her honor, before their romantic drama even started. Even before they kissed, Jeff did more for her than he’d ever done for anyone else to that point. He stood up for her like no one had ever done - not even her parents - and made Annie start to do something she’d never done before….relax.
And nothing from the next three years afterwards could erase that.
Somehow, this made Annie see things in a new light. Things that she already knew, but was too panic stricken and paranoid to remember. Not everything about her and Jeff had to do with romance, or friendship moments that bordered on them. If Annie left all those moments out, Jeff still had a greater impact on her life than almost anyone she knew. And it was still being felt now even though he was gone.
He was still with her when Annie decided to calm down and reexamine her debate strategy. He was there when she resolved to go off book, and not plan how she would go off book. He was there when she rehearsed speeches that had a little bit of a Winger touch in their delivery. He was even there when she decided to take a break and make time for TV with Troy and Abed.
Regardless of the Jeff rehab/detox/sabbatical she was on, Annie would never escape Jeff. But in some cases, that was okay. Considering the non-romantic, non-aggravating way in which he had reshaped her life, and made it better, it was suddenly more than okay.
And if they never became a couple, or anything more than friends….or never even became friends again after this….Annie’s life would still be better having known him. It would still be better after all he had shown her, and all he had inspired her to become. And for the doors he opened so that she could then become better on her own.
And one such example would be in this debate.
This time, it would take place over just one day and cover a variety of topics. Plus for all of Annie’s preparation, there was no way they could link her and Garrett’s chemistry to a perfect duet or great…..stuff. Since Garrett regularly got trounced in his rounds, Annie would have to be virtually perfect to win this thing.
What she did was deliver a bloodbath.
She stayed completely focused on Simmons, the judges and her talking points, while leaving room for herself to be flexible. She didn’t look out at the crowd once to see who was there and who wasn’t. She recalled Jeff, but not because of anything sad or depressing. She did so by out Wingering Winger, by using as much style and more substance than him, and finding her opponent’s weaknesses to tear them apart with well placed words. Better yet, not all of them were political buzz words.
Eventually, they finally figured out it’d be better to just send Annie out for every round. Although this gave City College a 2-1 advantage in debaters, it made no difference. It just made the slaughter that much more lopsided.
Simmons at least stayed even with both Jeff and Annie four years ago. But against just Annie - the Annie that had fully emerged, grown and refined herself after those first baby steps in the first debate - he was utterly pathetic. In fact, this would be the first ever Greendale win that wasn’t from a last second comeback, a parody of a logic defying sports movie victory, or the opposition being too overconfident to show up on time.
For the first time in history, Greendale was winning something going away. Yet although City College was mathematically incapable of winning by the end, Simmons was still desperate enough to throw himself out of his wheelchair again. What he thought he’d gain by someone catching him this time wasn’t clear. But then again, he wasn’t usually in his right mind when he was winning anyway.
Whatever he planned, it didn’t work as he aimed himself at Garrett by accident. With his clumsiness, he couldn’t hold onto Simmons and he wound up falling onto the ground, crushing Simmons beneath him. Simmons cried uncle and conceded the match in return for Greendale staff getting Garrett off him. Of course, he deliberately left out/ignored how he’d lost long before then.
Although it took a while to drag both Garrett and Simmons off stage, there was enough joy left over for Annie and Greendale to celebrate their easy victory. This was an historic kind of win for the school, yet it still paled in comparison to what it did for Annie. After a month of turmoil - almost six months, really - she had something to celebrate again at last.
She still didn’t trust herself to endure Jeff and Alison again, as that was still a ways off. But the path towards that end game was brighter and clearer than it had ever been. She took the first step towards being fulfilled even without any chance to be with Jeff. And it was the first step towards appreciating Jeff’s impact on her life, without wishing for anything more.
Annie did still wish for more than that, however. She wished she’d been stable enough so she could share this with her friends.
But then she took her first look out at the cheering audience.
Despite being inconspicuous by their standards, Annie could still see Britta, Shirley, Pierce, Troy and Abed out there in the cheering crowd. Once she finally locked eyes with them for the first time, they jumped up and waved at her - or at least Britta tried to make what passed for a wave. Annie had even missed that from her.
She wasn’t ready to make her way back into the group yet either. But after this victory, maybe she’d start seeing her other friends more soon - as long as they didn’t bring up Jeff or Alison, or accidentally lead them to Annie - and then work her way up to the bigger challenges. Nevertheless, for the first time in a month, Annie felt confident that this might all work out.
Yet for the moment, she just wanted to cheer that she won something again, and that those she loved guilt-free still loved her enough to see it and cheer. And that feeling stuck for the rest of the day.
Even when Annie thought she caught a glimpse of Jeff watching from behind the bleachers.