Fic - In a Flash (4/?)
Chapter Title: Apologies
Word Count: 670
Prompt: "Finally!"
Notes: This is a J/A fic, but it only features Jeff and Britta
“Finally!” Britta exclaimed as she shut the car door behind her. “You’re twenty minutes late.”
“Yeah, sorry, I got… distracted,” Jeff apologized.
“Well, let’s go! Shirley’s going to kill us if we’re late for her going away party.”
“Yeah, listen, before we go… there’s something I need to talk to you about,” he said tentatively as he turned toward her.
Britta examined his body language and the look on his face. Then she started to panic. “Jeff, before you start, I just want to make sure you know that-“
“Britta, stop. Trust me, this isn’t what you-“
“No, I really don’t want to marry you. I don’t want to be with you. So I don’t know if this is you letting me down easy, or if it’s you trying to tell me that you still have feelings for me, but I’m just going to shut this down before it gets more uncomfortable for either of us and ruins everything.” Britta took a deep breath as she finished, hoping that Jeff would just be his usual self and brush this thing off.
“Wow, okay,” Jeff said, slightly stunned. “That’s… not even close to what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“So… this thing that you want to talk about. It has nothing to do with our so-called engagement?”
“Well, yes, it does. But not in the way that you’re thinking.”
Britta looked at him suspiciously but motioned for him to continue.
“I don’t really know how to start,” he floundered. “I guess maybe with… I’m sorry.”
“Jeff, we were both equally to blame for our stupid decision, you don’t have to apologize,” she chuckled.
“No, that’s not-“ Taking a deep breath to steel himself, he continued. “I asked you to marry me - well, really, suggested that we get married - when I really, reallyshouldn’t have.” Britta opened her mouth to interrupt, but Jeff stopped her. “And I don’t mean because we were just scared of losing Greendale and leaving it without having anything to show for it. That’s all true. But, it was wrong to do it because… God, I asked you to marry me while I was in love with someone else.”
Wide-eyed, Britta stared at him in shock for a few moments. “What!?”
“I didn’t realize it at the time. Or, I did, but I didn’t want to…”
“Why are you telling me this? Why are you apologizing to me for this?”
“Because I was ready to marry you when I was in love with someone else! And I really was ready to marry you. For that half hour, even though it was for all the wrong reasons and I knew we would make each other miserable, I was completely willing to marry you even though I love someone else. And that was really shitty of me.”
“Jeff… I appreciate it. And I do think you’re a pretty big jerk for that. But I’m not the one you need to apologize to.”
He sighed, running a hand over his face and through his hair. “I know.”
“It’s Annie, isn’t it?” Britta asked quietly.
“Yeah.”
“And it’s because of how you feel about her that we got out of Borchert’s lab, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.”
“She’s the one you need to talk to. You need to tell her. And you need to apologizeto her. After all the crap you’re put her through, getting engaged to me while you were in love with her? That’s pretty shitty and selfish.”
“I know. I just… I don’t know how to tell her. It’s like I don’t know how to talk to her anymore in general.”
“Well, the love you feel for her powered a computer that got us out of that bunker, right?” Jeff nodded. “When you tell her, just look at her and think about how much you love her and let that give you the words.”
He nodded again. “Thanks, Britta.”
“You’re welcome. Now can we please go? Talking to you about this is making me incredibly uncomfortable.”
THE END