Resolutions of an Apocalyptic Nature
Things seemed to be back to normal in the Armageddon Department.
At least, Ianto hoped it was.
Apocalypse was back to hanging around now that his Doomsday Project was done, and Ianto had to admit he’d missed being ambushed for sex at the drop of a hat…any hat. Even that ugly beanie thing that Andy liked so well.
Honestly, Ianto wished he could drop that thing into the nearest black hole, but apparently Famine’s mother had made it for him and Death knew that Andy would be inconsolable if something happened to it. Still, even a mother’s love couldn’t make that hat any less hideous.
Still, despite the emergence of that monstrosity, things in the Department were quiet…for once. There were no catastrophes currently waiting in the wings, and the next Armageddon wasn’t even a sparkle in the Prognostication Department’s collective eye. It was…dare he say it…peaceful.
Now, thinking that was asking for trouble.
Nothing more was said though of Apocalypse’s plans for the two of them to go on a holiday, but Death didn’t let it bother him…well, not much anyway. Okay, he was lying to himself…it bothered him a lot. In fact, with the beginning of the new fiscal year and with things going to be so very quiet for a bit, Ianto thought it was high time for him to call Jack on his invitation.
And so, he found himself heading toward Jack’s office, on the top floor of the Armageddon Building. He also took a coffee with him, in order to ‘bribe’ Toshiko.
Not that it was needed, of course. Toshiko was his friend, after all.
“He’s not in,” Toshiko said warmly as he approached her desk, which sat before the large double doors leading into Apocalypse’s inner sanctum, “but I’m sure he wouldn’t mind you waiting.” She took the offered mug, inhaling the rich aroma of the coffee. “You are a lifesaver.”
“Where is he?” Death was a bit disappointed that his lover wasn’t in, however it wasn’t like Jack didn’t actually have work to do.
“In a meeting with Good and Evil,” Apocalypse’s PA answered, rolling her eyes. “You know he’s having a fantastic time.” The sarcasm was as sharp as Ianto’s scythe.
Yes, Death could imagine. It was bad enough being in a meeting with one of the two most powerful Celestials in the Multiverse, but both at the same time…even he wanted to shiver. “It’s not even time for the regular Upper Management meeting,” he commented.
“I think they were both impressed by his Doomsday prank. At least I know Evil was.”
That didn’t surprise Ianto in the least. “I’ll just wait in his office then.”
Toshiko smiled. “Help yourself. I’ll just be enjoying this lovely coffee.”
He gave her a wink and then headed into Jack’s office. It was as old-fashioned as Jack’s preferred style of clothing, all wood and brass with a large window looking out onto the Veil Between Dimensions. Ianto headed around the desk, which was liberally covered with paperwork that most likely had been due ages ago, and settled his scythe against the wall. He took a seat in the very well-christened chair, relaxing back into the leather.
Death couldn’t help but checking out the papers, seeing that it was mostly requisition forms for the Department as well as certain other things that would need Apocalypse’s personal signature. Ianto knew his lover’s paperwork intimately…well, as intimately as one could when one was pushing it all off the desk and out of the way of some very enthusiastic sex. The antique lamp that sat on the desk wasn’t original, and in fact Ianto had lost track of how many times they’d knocked it onto the floor and broken it. He did know that Toshiko had an open account with several businesses that catered to the Department, just in case something was needed to be replaced after one of Jack and Ianto’s ‘meetings’.
A piece of paper caught Ianto’s eye; it wasn’t anything like the official forms that where piled up and waiting for Jack’s review. Curious, he teased it out from under the file folder that had partially obscured it and saw immediately that it was Apocalypse’s handwriting.
New Year’s Resolutions
1. More sex with Ianto.
2. Using the scythe more during sex with Ianto.
3. Having Ianto wearing the coat more during sex.
4. Ambushing Ianto anywhere and anytime for sex.
Ianto snorted. Those weren’t resolutions…it was a ‘to-do’ list. And he was the one Jack was doing it with. It really didn’t surprise him. Actually, he expected each and every one of these points and looked forward to them quite eagerly.
5. Take Ianto out for dinner.
6. Meet Ianto’s sister. Meet Ianto’s sister.
Ianto frowned, confused. Why would Jack want to meet Rhiannon? He could see why it was crossed off at first, but then his lover had added it back. Apocalypse had never once asked to be introduced to his sister, and a part of him was dreading it. It would be a minor miracle if it went well…oh wait, his sister worked in the Minor Miracle Department. Maybe he didn’t have anything to worry about after all.
Although dinner out would be nice…
7. Get Ianto that long black coat I saw in that one shop on Earth. He’d look dead sexy in it.
Hm…yes, Ianto could see himself in a black coat. He’d need to look at it though before he agreed to wear it, he had his well-dressed image to maintain, after all. Besides, they could always use something else to spice up their sex lives.
8. Go on holiday with Ianto.
9. Go on more than one holiday with Ianto.
Seeing those two resolutions was heartening. Not that Ianto had actually doubted the whole holiday invitation thing, but he did know Jack, and Apocalypse had the attention span of a five-year-old in a toy store.
Death found it endearing, actually.
He didn’t know what that said about himself personally, but Ianto couldn’t help it. It was just one of the many things Death loved about his Apocalypse.
10. Show the rest of this damned Department what Ianto means to me.
Ianto leaned back in the chair, lost in thought. Everyone in the Department thought that he and Jack were simply shagging, and it irritated the shit out of Death. He knew it had more to do with Apocalypse’s reputation of being a ‘shag-em and leave-em’ type of guy, and that was colouring perceptions.
But really, how does one really think a relationship that had gone on nearly five hundred years was simply shagging?
Death swore that the majority of the people he worked with were as thick as pavement slabs.
He set the list back down, and nibbled on his thumbnail in thought. If Jack really meant to carry out these resolutions, then Ianto had better help him out with his priorities.
He picked up the fountain pen that Jack favoured, wrote one more point on the list.
**********
“Ah, Mr. Jones,” Jack’s cheerful voice interrupted Ianto’s game of Solitaire. He’d known about the deck of cards in Apocalypse’s desk; they were used for the weekly poker game between Jack and his Horsemen. “I hope I haven’t been keeping you waiting too long?”
“Oh, were you gone?” Ianto asked dryly, raising an eyebrow at his lover.
Apocalypse strode across the office like a man with a purpose…and Ianto knew exactly what that purpose was judging from the leer on his face. Ianto swiveled the chair around, and without further ado Jack straddled Death’s lap. “Why, hello there,” he purred, in that tone that had Ianto’s cock perking up and taking notice. Apocalypse slowly slid Death’s tie off, flinging the blood-red silk to the floor. “This is a pleasant surprise. And here I was thinking I’d have to find you for a little afternoon delight.”
Death rested his hands on Apocalypse’s waist. “It’s still morning, Jack,” he pointed out.
Jack blew it off. “Morning…afternoon…it’s always a delight to get a bit of time alone with my favourite Death.”
“I should hope I’m your only Death.”
The answer to that question was Jack’s lips on his, and Ianto knew he’d never get tired of his lover kissing him. What Jack’s tongue could do…
When they finally parted, Ianto was a little less dressed and Jack was a little more mussed. “Oh yeah,” Apocalypse murmured, “that’s what I was missing.”
“How did your meeting with Good and Evil go?”
Jack rolled his eyes. “I got congratulations from Evil for my forward thinking on the Earth’s Doomsday, and then Good gave me a lecture about ignoring my duties…but then he grinned and said it was a brilliant long con. Honestly, I already knew that, but it was nice to hear it.”
Ianto wasn’t surprised. “It was well done.”
“It was, wasn’t it?” Apocalypse preened. “Of course, getting called into that particular meeting meant I was able to let them both know I was going on holiday.”
Death smiled. He couldn’t help it. “And who’s going to be running things around here while you’re gone?”
Jack snorted. “Toshiko, of course. She’s the only one competent enough to do it. Which is why I’m assuming you’re going to be putting Donna in charge while you’re with me?”
“Well, Donna does know everything,” he answered, smirking.
“I thought that was you,” Apocalypse teased.
“It is. I taught her everything she knows. Literally.”
“I won’t tell her you said that.”
Death raised an eyebrow. “She wouldn’t believe you anyway.”
Jack laughed. His eyes were practically glowing. “You’ll need to rearrange your Angels to cover your cases.”
“Not a problem. When are we leaving?”
“I thought tomorrow. But tonight…” Apocalypse leaned closer. “Tonight, you’re mine, Mr. Jones.”
Really, Death wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Oh, and by the way,” Jack said, “I do agree with your addendum to my list of resolutions…”
“I’m glad you do, Sir.”
Jack’s eyes darkened. “I love it when you call me that…” He kissed Ianto once more, giving it lots of tongue and hitting all the right spots.
11. Stop playing pranks on the mortals which only takes away from being able to perform these resolutions.
At least, Ianto hoped it was.
Apocalypse was back to hanging around now that his Doomsday Project was done, and Ianto had to admit he’d missed being ambushed for sex at the drop of a hat…any hat. Even that ugly beanie thing that Andy liked so well.
Honestly, Ianto wished he could drop that thing into the nearest black hole, but apparently Famine’s mother had made it for him and Death knew that Andy would be inconsolable if something happened to it. Still, even a mother’s love couldn’t make that hat any less hideous.
Still, despite the emergence of that monstrosity, things in the Department were quiet…for once. There were no catastrophes currently waiting in the wings, and the next Armageddon wasn’t even a sparkle in the Prognostication Department’s collective eye. It was…dare he say it…peaceful.
Now, thinking that was asking for trouble.
Nothing more was said though of Apocalypse’s plans for the two of them to go on a holiday, but Death didn’t let it bother him…well, not much anyway. Okay, he was lying to himself…it bothered him a lot. In fact, with the beginning of the new fiscal year and with things going to be so very quiet for a bit, Ianto thought it was high time for him to call Jack on his invitation.
And so, he found himself heading toward Jack’s office, on the top floor of the Armageddon Building. He also took a coffee with him, in order to ‘bribe’ Toshiko.
Not that it was needed, of course. Toshiko was his friend, after all.
“He’s not in,” Toshiko said warmly as he approached her desk, which sat before the large double doors leading into Apocalypse’s inner sanctum, “but I’m sure he wouldn’t mind you waiting.” She took the offered mug, inhaling the rich aroma of the coffee. “You are a lifesaver.”
“Where is he?” Death was a bit disappointed that his lover wasn’t in, however it wasn’t like Jack didn’t actually have work to do.
“In a meeting with Good and Evil,” Apocalypse’s PA answered, rolling her eyes. “You know he’s having a fantastic time.” The sarcasm was as sharp as Ianto’s scythe.
Yes, Death could imagine. It was bad enough being in a meeting with one of the two most powerful Celestials in the Multiverse, but both at the same time…even he wanted to shiver. “It’s not even time for the regular Upper Management meeting,” he commented.
“I think they were both impressed by his Doomsday prank. At least I know Evil was.”
That didn’t surprise Ianto in the least. “I’ll just wait in his office then.”
Toshiko smiled. “Help yourself. I’ll just be enjoying this lovely coffee.”
He gave her a wink and then headed into Jack’s office. It was as old-fashioned as Jack’s preferred style of clothing, all wood and brass with a large window looking out onto the Veil Between Dimensions. Ianto headed around the desk, which was liberally covered with paperwork that most likely had been due ages ago, and settled his scythe against the wall. He took a seat in the very well-christened chair, relaxing back into the leather.
Death couldn’t help but checking out the papers, seeing that it was mostly requisition forms for the Department as well as certain other things that would need Apocalypse’s personal signature. Ianto knew his lover’s paperwork intimately…well, as intimately as one could when one was pushing it all off the desk and out of the way of some very enthusiastic sex. The antique lamp that sat on the desk wasn’t original, and in fact Ianto had lost track of how many times they’d knocked it onto the floor and broken it. He did know that Toshiko had an open account with several businesses that catered to the Department, just in case something was needed to be replaced after one of Jack and Ianto’s ‘meetings’.
A piece of paper caught Ianto’s eye; it wasn’t anything like the official forms that where piled up and waiting for Jack’s review. Curious, he teased it out from under the file folder that had partially obscured it and saw immediately that it was Apocalypse’s handwriting.
New Year’s Resolutions
1. More sex with Ianto.
2. Using the scythe more during sex with Ianto.
3. Having Ianto wearing the coat more during sex.
4. Ambushing Ianto anywhere and anytime for sex.
Ianto snorted. Those weren’t resolutions…it was a ‘to-do’ list. And he was the one Jack was doing it with. It really didn’t surprise him. Actually, he expected each and every one of these points and looked forward to them quite eagerly.
5. Take Ianto out for dinner.
6. Meet Ianto’s sister. Meet Ianto’s sister.
Ianto frowned, confused. Why would Jack want to meet Rhiannon? He could see why it was crossed off at first, but then his lover had added it back. Apocalypse had never once asked to be introduced to his sister, and a part of him was dreading it. It would be a minor miracle if it went well…oh wait, his sister worked in the Minor Miracle Department. Maybe he didn’t have anything to worry about after all.
Although dinner out would be nice…
7. Get Ianto that long black coat I saw in that one shop on Earth. He’d look dead sexy in it.
Hm…yes, Ianto could see himself in a black coat. He’d need to look at it though before he agreed to wear it, he had his well-dressed image to maintain, after all. Besides, they could always use something else to spice up their sex lives.
8. Go on holiday with Ianto.
9. Go on more than one holiday with Ianto.
Seeing those two resolutions was heartening. Not that Ianto had actually doubted the whole holiday invitation thing, but he did know Jack, and Apocalypse had the attention span of a five-year-old in a toy store.
Death found it endearing, actually.
He didn’t know what that said about himself personally, but Ianto couldn’t help it. It was just one of the many things Death loved about his Apocalypse.
10. Show the rest of this damned Department what Ianto means to me.
Ianto leaned back in the chair, lost in thought. Everyone in the Department thought that he and Jack were simply shagging, and it irritated the shit out of Death. He knew it had more to do with Apocalypse’s reputation of being a ‘shag-em and leave-em’ type of guy, and that was colouring perceptions.
But really, how does one really think a relationship that had gone on nearly five hundred years was simply shagging?
Death swore that the majority of the people he worked with were as thick as pavement slabs.
He set the list back down, and nibbled on his thumbnail in thought. If Jack really meant to carry out these resolutions, then Ianto had better help him out with his priorities.
He picked up the fountain pen that Jack favoured, wrote one more point on the list.
**********
“Ah, Mr. Jones,” Jack’s cheerful voice interrupted Ianto’s game of Solitaire. He’d known about the deck of cards in Apocalypse’s desk; they were used for the weekly poker game between Jack and his Horsemen. “I hope I haven’t been keeping you waiting too long?”
“Oh, were you gone?” Ianto asked dryly, raising an eyebrow at his lover.
Apocalypse strode across the office like a man with a purpose…and Ianto knew exactly what that purpose was judging from the leer on his face. Ianto swiveled the chair around, and without further ado Jack straddled Death’s lap. “Why, hello there,” he purred, in that tone that had Ianto’s cock perking up and taking notice. Apocalypse slowly slid Death’s tie off, flinging the blood-red silk to the floor. “This is a pleasant surprise. And here I was thinking I’d have to find you for a little afternoon delight.”
Death rested his hands on Apocalypse’s waist. “It’s still morning, Jack,” he pointed out.
Jack blew it off. “Morning…afternoon…it’s always a delight to get a bit of time alone with my favourite Death.”
“I should hope I’m your only Death.”
The answer to that question was Jack’s lips on his, and Ianto knew he’d never get tired of his lover kissing him. What Jack’s tongue could do…
When they finally parted, Ianto was a little less dressed and Jack was a little more mussed. “Oh yeah,” Apocalypse murmured, “that’s what I was missing.”
“How did your meeting with Good and Evil go?”
Jack rolled his eyes. “I got congratulations from Evil for my forward thinking on the Earth’s Doomsday, and then Good gave me a lecture about ignoring my duties…but then he grinned and said it was a brilliant long con. Honestly, I already knew that, but it was nice to hear it.”
Ianto wasn’t surprised. “It was well done.”
“It was, wasn’t it?” Apocalypse preened. “Of course, getting called into that particular meeting meant I was able to let them both know I was going on holiday.”
Death smiled. He couldn’t help it. “And who’s going to be running things around here while you’re gone?”
Jack snorted. “Toshiko, of course. She’s the only one competent enough to do it. Which is why I’m assuming you’re going to be putting Donna in charge while you’re with me?”
“Well, Donna does know everything,” he answered, smirking.
“I thought that was you,” Apocalypse teased.
“It is. I taught her everything she knows. Literally.”
“I won’t tell her you said that.”
Death raised an eyebrow. “She wouldn’t believe you anyway.”
Jack laughed. His eyes were practically glowing. “You’ll need to rearrange your Angels to cover your cases.”
“Not a problem. When are we leaving?”
“I thought tomorrow. But tonight…” Apocalypse leaned closer. “Tonight, you’re mine, Mr. Jones.”
Really, Death wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Oh, and by the way,” Jack said, “I do agree with your addendum to my list of resolutions…”
“I’m glad you do, Sir.”
Jack’s eyes darkened. “I love it when you call me that…” He kissed Ianto once more, giving it lots of tongue and hitting all the right spots.
11. Stop playing pranks on the mortals which only takes away from being able to perform these resolutions.