Insight into conversations at a "katzersche" coffee-table - "oh Christmastree"
I am just returned from what I found to be a very inspiring "Kaffeetrinken" (a german equivalent to the clishee 5 o'clock english tea time). I will quickly relate to you, the conversation that passed. Laugh at ur wish, or at least admitt the stupidity of everybody related to me, including myself.
First of all I should describe the setting. As it is Christmas for us tomorrow, and hence Christmasweekend now, we had the whole Chirstmas "schmang" (a word my Greek Highschool teacher is known to use very frequently). Räuchermännchen and Pyramide (Chirstmas decorations from the Ertzgebirge, "echt" East German). The air was cented of Sandelholz, slowly coming out of the Räuchermännchens mouth, and on the roof you could see spirals of light, right above the pyramid. Overall, very propper. We drank tea/coffee/milk and ate the "Weihnachtsplätzchen" (Chistmascookies) that I had baked on the day before. The atmosphere was very christmassy. My sister played her instruments - 3 flutes (soprano, alt and tenor) and her trumpet - extremely well, which delighted us all (even me).
For some reason, the conversation landed on dogs. After which my dad said that today in an elevator he saw a lady holding a shivering Chihuahua wrapped in a blanked in her arm, which had me remark on the uglyness of these dogs. I surely cannot understand how anyone could ever want to admit to own such a thing. This then, led onto dog-breading. Well, the known incest in animal breeding had me flash back to a specific Futurama episode, where Fry travels back in time, sleeps with his mother and thus becomes his own father. Aloud I said: I wonder if it is possible to be your own mothers cousin. One thing lead to another and my sister and dad were getting out a paper to draw out the possibilities, while my mom just sat in her chair, very embarrassed. We discussed many possibilities before we found an answer. Here is the solution: Yes it is possible. How? Your dad must be your mothers uncle (the brother of your grandfather). To make sure you and your mom are cousins. This solution got me interested. Is it also possible to be your own mothers aunt? The answer is: Yes. How? Your dad then must be your moms grandfather, (your great grand father) which then makes you the brother/sister of your mom's dad/mother (your grandparents). Believe it or not, this was quite a victory in my understanding of possible family relations, although rather disturbing. Through all this my mom just sat in silence.
BUT, it shall come worse. My mom wanted me and my dad to put up the Christmastree. Through some simliarity of word in the german language, one word led to another. My dad said, yes he will shit the christmastree. And I said what a difficult birth this would be. Jointly this led to a discussion of my dad giving birth to a Christmastree by shitting it. Press. Breathe. Press. Breathe. What if the "baby" was in Steißlage (sideways)? asked my dad. And I nearly fell off my chair laughing. Quite painful was the answer. My mom at that point hid behind her hand. And I knew that my dad and I were thinking the same, visualizing in our minds, what that would look like.
Merry Christmas is all I can say to that.
The actual sad thing is, these type of conversations are not infrequent...usually held by me and my dad while eating. I wonder how my mom puts up with it.
p.s. the tree is standing now. hehe
First of all I should describe the setting. As it is Christmas for us tomorrow, and hence Christmasweekend now, we had the whole Chirstmas "schmang" (a word my Greek Highschool teacher is known to use very frequently). Räuchermännchen and Pyramide (Chirstmas decorations from the Ertzgebirge, "echt" East German). The air was cented of Sandelholz, slowly coming out of the Räuchermännchens mouth, and on the roof you could see spirals of light, right above the pyramid. Overall, very propper. We drank tea/coffee/milk and ate the "Weihnachtsplätzchen" (Chistmascookies) that I had baked on the day before. The atmosphere was very christmassy. My sister played her instruments - 3 flutes (soprano, alt and tenor) and her trumpet - extremely well, which delighted us all (even me).
For some reason, the conversation landed on dogs. After which my dad said that today in an elevator he saw a lady holding a shivering Chihuahua wrapped in a blanked in her arm, which had me remark on the uglyness of these dogs. I surely cannot understand how anyone could ever want to admit to own such a thing. This then, led onto dog-breading. Well, the known incest in animal breeding had me flash back to a specific Futurama episode, where Fry travels back in time, sleeps with his mother and thus becomes his own father. Aloud I said: I wonder if it is possible to be your own mothers cousin. One thing lead to another and my sister and dad were getting out a paper to draw out the possibilities, while my mom just sat in her chair, very embarrassed. We discussed many possibilities before we found an answer. Here is the solution: Yes it is possible. How? Your dad must be your mothers uncle (the brother of your grandfather). To make sure you and your mom are cousins. This solution got me interested. Is it also possible to be your own mothers aunt? The answer is: Yes. How? Your dad then must be your moms grandfather, (your great grand father) which then makes you the brother/sister of your mom's dad/mother (your grandparents). Believe it or not, this was quite a victory in my understanding of possible family relations, although rather disturbing. Through all this my mom just sat in silence.
BUT, it shall come worse. My mom wanted me and my dad to put up the Christmastree. Through some simliarity of word in the german language, one word led to another. My dad said, yes he will shit the christmastree. And I said what a difficult birth this would be. Jointly this led to a discussion of my dad giving birth to a Christmastree by shitting it. Press. Breathe. Press. Breathe. What if the "baby" was in Steißlage (sideways)? asked my dad. And I nearly fell off my chair laughing. Quite painful was the answer. My mom at that point hid behind her hand. And I knew that my dad and I were thinking the same, visualizing in our minds, what that would look like.
Merry Christmas is all I can say to that.
The actual sad thing is, these type of conversations are not infrequent...usually held by me and my dad while eating. I wonder how my mom puts up with it.
p.s. the tree is standing now. hehe