Yay, I got a Sunday update out despite family stuff! Before midnight, even. *grins* Possibly at least one more chapter tomorrow, though I really do need to turn my attention to some of my other poor, neglected stories
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Er, did I say this was all going to remain strictly from Shishido's point of view? *sweatdrops*
[laughs] and that was my *main* discontent with this chapter--was the sudden jump-switch of narrators. Ah, but the boys are finally talking again, Shishido's done his apologizing, and he didn't do too shabby a job of it... he managed to impress upon Otori enough that he's serious, so they're willing to make a second go of it....
*coughs* I was afraid people might react badly to the sudden switch in style. My reason for doing it will become clear in the next chapter, promise. -_- It's a deliberate stylistic thing.
it would be nice to know what Otori's thinking.... it would give the readers more information to work this (and then Otori probably wouldn't get half so abused by the fans... although, Shishido might receive a good fair share of hits and thwaps by then, too...) and, I don't know how you would've done the Amano Otori confrontation over Shishido without Shishido being there otherwise---and that's something I, personally, don't think Otori would want Shishido to see. But... is it going to be a limited narative switch--limited only to the scenes shared with Shishido?--or are you really going to bring Otori completely into the narrative flow? Now that things are sort of fixed between them, that lack of communication isn't so pronunced to the point that we don't know what Otori's thinking at all....
[laughs] and that was my *main* discontent with this chapter--was the sudden jump-switch of narrators. Ah, but the boys are finally talking again, Shishido's done his apologizing, and he didn't do too shabby a job of it... he managed to impress upon Otori enough that he's serious, so they're willing to make a second go of it....
[sing-songly] and Amano is gonna be *pissed*~!
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And yes, Amano is indeed going to be pissed.
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