(no subject)
im so bored right now and i cant sleep and im just thinking about way too many things wayy wayy to much.
i cant stand my dad. for once in my life i would like to feel like i have one. i asked him for help and he threw it back in my face saying that i shoudlnt be asking anyone for help. he is my father i dont understand how you can deny your own daughter help when she needs it. my whole life he has done nothing for me but make me cry. and ive never asked him FOR ANYTHING up until now because i really need it. why cant i have a dad who wants to be in my life and who wanted to come to my field hockey and lacrosse games and who wants to talk to me who wants to like hang out with his daughter who played with me when i was growing up? why cant i have a normal dad who doesnt yell and who doesnt make me feel like shit every time i see or talk to him?
sometimes when me and my mom fight she says im just like him and it makes me so mad i dont ever want to be like him i could never do that
i couldnt treat one of my children like they dont exist like they're nothing.
i swear anything i ever did or anything i didnt do that i could have done woudlnt have been good enough for him...nothing i could have done woudld have mattered and oooooh we have talked about this and even my mom knows.
but nothing. i get no love from my daddy.
i honestly dont think he would care if anything happend to me..when i got into my accident he yelled at me not asking me ONCE how i was doing how i felt about it or anything..
i was talking to my aunt a while ago and she even said wheenver they talk to my dad they ask him hows michaela doing....and u know what he says how the hell should he know and this and that about me.
im almost 19 years old and i can say that my dad has not done one thing for me in my whole entire life. and the one and only time i ask him for help he wont give it to me.
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING!
i dont want to say i hate him cuz i dont...but would that be so bad?
i have so many stupid little things on my mind right now and its getting to become too much for me. and i usually dont even think about my dad but since i talked to him its one more thing i think about its one more thing to make me cry about. DAMMIT!!
i cant stand my dad. for once in my life i would like to feel like i have one. i asked him for help and he threw it back in my face saying that i shoudlnt be asking anyone for help. he is my father i dont understand how you can deny your own daughter help when she needs it. my whole life he has done nothing for me but make me cry. and ive never asked him FOR ANYTHING up until now because i really need it. why cant i have a dad who wants to be in my life and who wanted to come to my field hockey and lacrosse games and who wants to talk to me who wants to like hang out with his daughter who played with me when i was growing up? why cant i have a normal dad who doesnt yell and who doesnt make me feel like shit every time i see or talk to him?
sometimes when me and my mom fight she says im just like him and it makes me so mad i dont ever want to be like him i could never do that
i couldnt treat one of my children like they dont exist like they're nothing.
i swear anything i ever did or anything i didnt do that i could have done woudlnt have been good enough for him...nothing i could have done woudld have mattered and oooooh we have talked about this and even my mom knows.
but nothing. i get no love from my daddy.
i honestly dont think he would care if anything happend to me..when i got into my accident he yelled at me not asking me ONCE how i was doing how i felt about it or anything..
i was talking to my aunt a while ago and she even said wheenver they talk to my dad they ask him hows michaela doing....and u know what he says how the hell should he know and this and that about me.
im almost 19 years old and i can say that my dad has not done one thing for me in my whole entire life. and the one and only time i ask him for help he wont give it to me.
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING!
i dont want to say i hate him cuz i dont...but would that be so bad?
i have so many stupid little things on my mind right now and its getting to become too much for me. and i usually dont even think about my dad but since i talked to him its one more thing i think about its one more thing to make me cry about. DAMMIT!!