FIC: On My Own (Chapter 4) (Glee)
Title: On My Own (Chapter 4)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3,626
Characters: Finn/Rachel
A/N: Just to clarify any confusion that might arise, Finn and Rachel separated seven years ago. Though the flashbacks refer to a time nine years in the past, they will eventually progress until we reach the point when they parted ways seven years before.
Summary: After graduation, they went their separate ways. What happens when fate intervenes and Finn and Rachel come face-to-face after seven years apart?
Previous Chapters:
Chapter One (this link has been repaired)
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Nine Years Ago (Give or Take a Few Months) . . .
Rachel nervously smoothed her red plaid skirt as she and Finn slowly made their way down Main Street, a gentle breeze blowing through her hair as the glittering lampposts lit their way. Assorted crowds of teenagers mingled upon the pavement, small shops and privately owned restaurants bustled with activity, and a steady stream of vehicles made their way down the fairly busy street. It was the usual Friday night in Lima, full of people with nowhere to go but finding entertainment just the same.
Well, it was the usual Friday night for most people. Because most people were simply enjoying the evening, thankful for the approaching weekend. Most people weren’t two apprehensive teenage kids, with sweaty hands and fluttering feelings of anxious optimism. Most people weren’t on their very first dates, after almost a year of fighting their fledgling feelings. Most people weren’t Rachel Berry and Finn Hudson.
She couldn’t quite understand it, really. She had perused all the pertinent websites and even studied a definitive text concerning the matter. First dates could be highly stressful experiences for many individuals, it was true. However, most individuals scarcely knew each other before their first romantic encounter. She and Finn had been friends for months. So why was it that she couldn’t think of a single thing to say to him?
“My two gay dads and I come to Main Street quite often,” she tried, even though her voice seemed to come from very far away. Wiping her sweaty palms upon her skirt, she forced herself to straighten up and clear her throat. “We regularly find ourselves at one of the many fine dining establishments dotting this quintessential thoroughfare.”
Finn’s forehead creased at her words. “Huh,” he replied, smiling blankly.
Rachel had to suppress a sigh. Clearly, that hadn’t been the correct approach. Biting her lower lip, she searched her mind for a suitable alternative; for something, anything to bring Finn out of his troublesome shell. Come on, Rachel, she prodded herself. What was it the book said? ‘Should your date display signs of nerves or anxiety, the best tactic might be a tasteful compliment. After all, who doesn’t love to receive compliments every now and then?’ Well, that was it then. She simply had to develop a pleasing sentiment in order to assuage Finn’s anxious state of mind.
Her thoughts decided, she paused for a moment and turned to the boy traveling by her side. It wasn’t difficult to think of something kind to say. Her breath caught in her throat as she studied his handsome visage. Truth be told, Finn looked amazing tonight. His russet hair was finely groomed, his cinnamon eyes gleaming from the excitement of the evening. And even though he was bedecked in simple attire, his jeans fit him perfectly and his leather jacket accentuated his nicely toned physique.
Placing a hand on his chest, Rachel smiled warmly at her new boyfriend. “You look very nice tonight, Finn,” she said. “I’m proud to be the girl with whom you chose to spend your rather valuable evening.”
Even though he might not have understood the statement in its entirety, she didn’t think he could miss the tender look upon her face, nor the affectionate lilt to her words. Slowly, he raised his hand so that he could rest it upon her own. “I’m just glad to be here with you,” he replied honestly, and the crooked smile he gave her caused Rachel’s nerves to melt away. “I’ve kinda wanted to do this for a long time.”
“Me, too,” she said breathlessly, her heart skipping a beat as she continued to stare into his warm brown gaze. She had wanted to be with Finn from almost the first moment she had laid eyes on him. Unlike most of the other boys at McKinley, there was something special about the sweet, unassuming boy gazing down at her. It was almost as if they shared some unspoken connection, some hidden mystery that no one else had ever discovered. It was more than just the music, more than just the effortless manner in which their two voices combined. It was almost as if he understood her in a way that nobody ever could.
Suddenly, Rachel knew exactly what she wanted to do on their first date. “Come on,” she said, reaching down to grab hold of Finn’s hand.
“Where are we going?” Finn asked as the tiny girl began to drag his massive frame down the street (he wasn’t putting up much of a fight).
“You’ll see,” Rachel replied secretively.
~*~
Her hand intertwined with Finn’s, Rachel walked down the busy Times Square thoroughfare in a state of disbelief. She still couldn’t quite believe that Finn was here, that he was by her side. She still couldn’t quite believe that she hadn’t been plunged into some bewildering, fantastical dream. Glancing at him out of the corner of her eye, she noted the differences that the years had wrought upon her long lost friend. He was more confident now, less bumbling. He seemed to walk with the air and grace of someone with a definitive purpose in life. But even as tiny prickles of electricity skirted up her wrist at the touch of his warm, smooth palm, she couldn’t help but wonder what purpose he had discovered. What was it that Finn Hudson was doing with his life?
“So, Finn,” she began awkwardly, searching her chaotic thoughts for something to say. “How long have you been in New York?”
“A couple weeks,” Finn replied, placing his free hand into the pocket of his slacks.
She waited for him to elaborate, to expand upon his statement. When he failed to do so, an uneasy silence fell between them. “That’s great,” she stated lamely, a mild rush of heat rising to her cheeks. Where were her keen words and profound sentiments when she needed them most?
“Yeah,” Finn nodded, kicking at a crumpled piece of paper. “You know, for work.”
“Oh,” she said, folding her lips as she cast about for something else to say. Finally, she settled on gathering more information about his career. “What is it that you do?” she asked.
“I’m a public relations analyst for L.J. Carson and Sons,” he stated, staring straight ahead. “Well, minus the ‘sons’. My boss works on his own.”
At first, Rachel wasn’t certain that she’d heard him properly. Finn - her Finn - was a businessman? The Finn she’d known, the Finn she’d dated, the Finn she’d loved had entered a life of drab meetings and nine-to-five workdays? He hated structure. Even worse than that, he hated hard work.
“Wow,” she murmured, pausing as she turned to face him. “I never would have thought that you would entertain such a profession, Finn.”
“Yeah, well,” he shrugged, dropping her hand. Immediately, her skin grew chilly from the loss of contact. “It just sort of happened.”
She studied him for a long moment, gazing at his downcast eyes, the mild downward curve of his lips and the slight slump of his shoulders. Her chest clenched at the sight, and she found herself wondering if Finn really had found a purpose after all. She found herself wondering if the confident man standing before her was still the confused boy she had known in her youth. She could almost see him hiding behind that cinnamon gaze, almost see him peeking out from beneath the shadows flickering within his eyes. She sensed a terrible sadness behind those shadows, a terrible weight that she hadn’t known him to carry in the years they’d known each other. In the years they’d been close friends. In the years they’d fallen in love. And before the words had even formed within her mind, she heard them flowing through the air between them. “Are you happy?” she asked, staring at him intently. For some reason, her breath grew shallow as she waited for his response.
He blinked at the question, running his fingers through his short brown hair. “Sure,” he said, but she sensed that the answer had been given more on impulse than anything else. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know,” she stated honestly, and it was her turn to shrug. “I just never figured you for a businessman, Finn.”
“We all have to pay the bills, Rachel,” he replied quietly, averting his gaze to a point just behind her left shoulder. “It’s a good job.”
“I’m sure it is,” she whispered, fiddling with the hem of her sweater. Even so, she couldn’t help but notice that the sadness reflected in his gaze had suddenly begun to penetrate her chest. And before she realized what she was doing, she felt herself following another impulse, and making another statement without thought: “Come on,” she said, reaching once again for his hand.
“Where are we going?” he asked as his forehead crinkled.
“You’ll see,” she said simply, giving him a secretive wink as she laced her fingers together with his own. And in the midst of Times Square, among crowds of theatre goers, tourists and residents alike, the tiny, lithe woman began pulling the tall, muscular man down the street.
“Rachel, where are you taking me?” he demanded, but she noticed that he wasn’t putting up much of a fight.
“Come on, Finn,” she replied jovially, pulling harder still. “Even stuffy businessmen like surprises.”
~*~
Nine Years Ago (Give or Take a Few Months . . .)
“What is this place?” Finn asked curiously, relishing the warmth of Rachel’s hand as she led him into a secluded woodsy area. The scent of oak wafted through the air and teased his nostrils, tiny twigs broke under his feet and the increasingly chilly breeze whipped through his hair.
“I frequently come here when I feel the need to think,” Rachel admitted, stepping over a fallen log. “It’s just so peaceful that it’s easy to wrap my mind around the troubling issues I often face.”
“Huh,” Finn grunted for a second time that night, although he sort of felt like he understood what she meant. Coming here, getting away from everything, made it easier to forget about other stuff. School, the guys, the fear that he wasn’t going to measure up. It was almost like he was stepping into some secret world, some hidden universe to which only he and Rachel had the key. And when she led him to a narrow bridge overlooking a gurgling stream, the feeling only intensified. “This is cool,” he said, gazing at her affectionately as he squeezed her hand.
“I like it,” she said quietly, shrugging as she blushed under the weight of his stare.
The sight caused his heart to race, and he found himself pulling her against his chest and wrapping his arms around her slender waist. Tucking her head under his chin, he breathed in her sweet scent and placed a gentle kiss atop her head. “This is nice,” he confessed. Having Rachel in his arms, knowing that she was finally his . . . it was like everything he’d wanted was finally starting to happen. It was like all the crap he’d endured over the past few months was finally starting to disappear. After everything he’d been through, his life was finally starting to become something good, something amazing. And he had Rachel to thank for all of it.
“Sometimes life becomes a little difficult,” Rachel stated, turning in his arms to look at the stream. Folding her small hands over Finn’s much larger ones, she leaned against his muscular torso and continued. “But when I come here, it’s like everything is okay again.”
“Yeah,” Finn agreed, prickles of electricity coursing through his skin at her touch. “I get that.”
“I knew you would,” she said, a breathy quality entering her tone as she watched the water ripple below. “You’re different, Finn. Special. You’re not like the other boys at McKinley High.”
His lips puckered at her words even as a rush of hope surged through his veins. After everything he’d done, after everything he’d put her through, her statement was almost like a salve for his guilty mind. “Really?” he asked, tightening his grip around her tiny frame.
“Yeah,” Rachel confirmed, nodding. “Really.”
“I’m sorry, Rachel,” his words spilled forth before they had fully formed within his thoughts. “I’m sorry for all the stuff I put you through.” He paused, trying to figure out what it was that he was trying to say. Trying to figure out what it was that he wanted to convey. Even though she had clearly forgiven him, even though she had clearly decided to give him a second chance, he felt like she deserved more. He felt like she deserved an apology, an explanation, an admission. He felt like she deserved the world. “I’m sorry that I was such a douche,” he said instead, and had to refrain from smacking himself in the forehead. He really needed to pay better attention in English class.
If he had been facing her, he might have noticed the tender smile which spread across her face. He might have noticed the warm gleam which flickered within her eyes, and the pink flush which colored her cheeks. He might have noticed that his words had meant much more than he believed. As it was, he only noticed the way she turned in his arms, pulling away from his touch.
“I didn’t mean -“ he hastily began, but Rachel silenced him by standing on tiptoe and placing a finger to his lips.
“You don’t have to apologize anymore, Finn, “she replied, gazing at him warmly. His eyes widened slightly when he felt goose bumps break out onto his arms as he registered the expression on her face. “I’ve already forgiven you.” And before he could say another word, before he could even think of an appropriate response, she was suddenly leaning forward and capturing his lips in a sweet, ardent embrace.
The shallow stream continued to gurgle and the evening breeze continued to blow through his hair, but as Finn fell into her kiss, he forgot about everything else.
~*~
“What is this place?” Finn queried, relishing the warmth of Rachel’s hand as she pulled him into a smoky abode. The scents of alcohol and perfume wafted through the air and teased his nostrils, cigarette butts littered the floor under his feet and the heady air caused his face to flush.
“You’ll see,” Rachel repeated her earlier promise with a sly smile, tugging him further into the depths of the room.
“Wait a second,” Finn stalled, stopping in his tracks as he noticed a narrow stage bedecking the farthest wall. “Rachel, what are you up to?” His heart began to thud as her sly smile quickly transformed into a wicked grin. Even after seven years, she still had the ability to leave him speechless. When had the prim and ambitious Rachel Berry turned into such a vixen?
“I told you, Finn,” she replied, winking. “You’ll see.”
“Rachel,” he warned, but she had already begun pulling him closer to the stage. And when they arrived, when they stopped in front of the platform, she motioned to the stage hand to lean down so she could whisper into his ear. A jolt of irrational jealousy followed by a twinge of nervous apprehension rocketed through his muscular frame when the man nodded and graced her with a special smile. Returning to his position on the stage, he thumbed through a booklet and hit some buttons on his audio equipment.
“Rachel,” he tried again, a stubborn edge entering his words, “What are we doing here?” Somehow, he already knew the answer to his question. Somehow, he already understood why she’d pulled him into the dim, musky club. But even as he waited for her response, even as he stood quietly while her eyes flickered over the shadows playing across his face, his nervous apprehension grew even more pronounced. Because after seven years of pushing himself to succeed, after seven years of forgetting everything he had once been, he wasn’t sure if he was ready to experience this now. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to return to a life that he had once chosen to leave far behind.
Even if it meant returning to a woman who had once been his everything.
Perhaps Rachel sensed his trepidation. Perhaps she knew what he was thinking, knew what he was feeling. Perhaps she understood what it had taken for him to even come this far. After all, she had always been good at understanding him. She had always known how he felt even before he knew it himself. And even though he couldn’t help the prickle of regret which coursed through his chest when her smile faltered and her expression turned serious, he also experienced a surge of relief. Maybe she had changed her mind.
He should have known that Rachel Berry was nothing if not determined.
“This is a karaoke club, Finn,” she explained, gesturing toward the audience. “People come here to listen to others sing.”
“I know what a karaoke club is, Rach,” he sighed, pushing his hands into his pockets. “I just don’t know what we’re doing here.”
For the second time that night, he had the odd sensation that Rachel was staring straight into his soul as she gazed at him with her intense brown eyes. “I thought that was obvious,” she replied quietly, taking a step toward him even as she ran her smooth pink tongue anxiously over the expanse of her soft, warm lips. Despite himself, Finn suddenly found himself transfixed by her mouth. “Come on, Finn,” she cajoled, looking up at him through thick lashes. “When was the last time you sang?”
Clearing his throat as he attempted to clear his mind of all thoughts pertaining to her moist mouth, his features quickly turned guarded. “High school graduation,” he said promptly, shrugging nonchalantly even though he felt anything but. “I stopped being the male lead of New Directions a long time ago.”
“Finn,” Rachel replied softly, knowingly, as she took another step forward and placed her small hand upon his muscular chest. “Don’t you understand?” she plead. “While it’s true that Glee ended a long time ago, you never stopped being you. You never stopped being that special, amazing guy who loved to sing.”
“You’re wrong, Rachel,” he shook his head, even though his words were reluctant. Even though he almost longed to agree; even though he almost longed to get up on that stage, to return to her side, to sing as if the years had suddenly melted away. “I’m not that guy anymore.”
“No, Finn,” she stated firmly, her fingers digging softly into the skin of his chest. “You’re wrong. You’ll always be that guy.”
He opened his mouth to argue. He opened his mouth to decline, to refuse, to deny it all. But before he could say another word, before he could even figure out what he wanted to say, the stage hand was leaning back down to their level. “Are you ready, Rachel?” he prodded.
Glancing from Finn to the stage hand and back again, Rachel raised her brows. “What do you say?” she asked, that same soulful expression radiating from her eyes. “Will you sing with me one more time?” And then, when he still appeared reluctant, when he still appeared as though he would refuse, she batted her lashes and continued in a more sultry tone. “For me?” she asked, leaning so close that her breath was warm against his jaw.
Damn it. Even after all this time, she still knew exactly how to twist him around her little finger. Even after all this time, she still knew exactly how to get underneath his skin and force him to do anything she wanted. Even as the refusal formed on his tongue, he found himself nodding in acquiescence. “One last time,” he agreed. And when her face broke into a radiant grin and she pulled him up the steps of the stage, he could only follow obediently in her wake.
“What are we singing?” he questioned as a microphone was thrust into his hand. But he needn’t have bothered. As Rachel took her place by his side, the opening strains of Don’t Stop Believin’ began to emanate from the speakers. Before he knew what was happening, she was giving him that same soulful look. And suddenly, he had begun to sing. The lyrics rushed forth from bygone years, the rhythm lost but not forgotten. Never forgotten. He hadn’t forgotten a thing, he realized as he belted out a song etched permanently into his mind.
He wanted to remain guarded, he wanted to remain aloof. He didn’t want to allow himself to give into the feelings pumping through his veins. Unfortunately, he had learned long ago that what he wanted almost never turned out exactly as he’d planned.
The music washed over him as if a salve for his troubled past; it flowed forth from their combined voices, echoing against every corner and reverberating along every wall only to return in perfect harmony to its point of origin. Only to return with amazing force to his conscious mind, causing years of buried emotions and repressed thoughts to spring forth with surprising clarity. And when they were finished, and Rachel was pressed tightly against his side, he began to wonder what it was he had been hiding from. Even more, he began to wonder if maybe it was time to let go of the past seven years and return to his own point of origin.
He began to wonder why he’d ever given this up in the first place.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3,626
Characters: Finn/Rachel
A/N: Just to clarify any confusion that might arise, Finn and Rachel separated seven years ago. Though the flashbacks refer to a time nine years in the past, they will eventually progress until we reach the point when they parted ways seven years before.
Summary: After graduation, they went their separate ways. What happens when fate intervenes and Finn and Rachel come face-to-face after seven years apart?
Previous Chapters:
Chapter One (this link has been repaired)
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Nine Years Ago (Give or Take a Few Months) . . .
Rachel nervously smoothed her red plaid skirt as she and Finn slowly made their way down Main Street, a gentle breeze blowing through her hair as the glittering lampposts lit their way. Assorted crowds of teenagers mingled upon the pavement, small shops and privately owned restaurants bustled with activity, and a steady stream of vehicles made their way down the fairly busy street. It was the usual Friday night in Lima, full of people with nowhere to go but finding entertainment just the same.
Well, it was the usual Friday night for most people. Because most people were simply enjoying the evening, thankful for the approaching weekend. Most people weren’t two apprehensive teenage kids, with sweaty hands and fluttering feelings of anxious optimism. Most people weren’t on their very first dates, after almost a year of fighting their fledgling feelings. Most people weren’t Rachel Berry and Finn Hudson.
She couldn’t quite understand it, really. She had perused all the pertinent websites and even studied a definitive text concerning the matter. First dates could be highly stressful experiences for many individuals, it was true. However, most individuals scarcely knew each other before their first romantic encounter. She and Finn had been friends for months. So why was it that she couldn’t think of a single thing to say to him?
“My two gay dads and I come to Main Street quite often,” she tried, even though her voice seemed to come from very far away. Wiping her sweaty palms upon her skirt, she forced herself to straighten up and clear her throat. “We regularly find ourselves at one of the many fine dining establishments dotting this quintessential thoroughfare.”
Finn’s forehead creased at her words. “Huh,” he replied, smiling blankly.
Rachel had to suppress a sigh. Clearly, that hadn’t been the correct approach. Biting her lower lip, she searched her mind for a suitable alternative; for something, anything to bring Finn out of his troublesome shell. Come on, Rachel, she prodded herself. What was it the book said? ‘Should your date display signs of nerves or anxiety, the best tactic might be a tasteful compliment. After all, who doesn’t love to receive compliments every now and then?’ Well, that was it then. She simply had to develop a pleasing sentiment in order to assuage Finn’s anxious state of mind.
Her thoughts decided, she paused for a moment and turned to the boy traveling by her side. It wasn’t difficult to think of something kind to say. Her breath caught in her throat as she studied his handsome visage. Truth be told, Finn looked amazing tonight. His russet hair was finely groomed, his cinnamon eyes gleaming from the excitement of the evening. And even though he was bedecked in simple attire, his jeans fit him perfectly and his leather jacket accentuated his nicely toned physique.
Placing a hand on his chest, Rachel smiled warmly at her new boyfriend. “You look very nice tonight, Finn,” she said. “I’m proud to be the girl with whom you chose to spend your rather valuable evening.”
Even though he might not have understood the statement in its entirety, she didn’t think he could miss the tender look upon her face, nor the affectionate lilt to her words. Slowly, he raised his hand so that he could rest it upon her own. “I’m just glad to be here with you,” he replied honestly, and the crooked smile he gave her caused Rachel’s nerves to melt away. “I’ve kinda wanted to do this for a long time.”
“Me, too,” she said breathlessly, her heart skipping a beat as she continued to stare into his warm brown gaze. She had wanted to be with Finn from almost the first moment she had laid eyes on him. Unlike most of the other boys at McKinley, there was something special about the sweet, unassuming boy gazing down at her. It was almost as if they shared some unspoken connection, some hidden mystery that no one else had ever discovered. It was more than just the music, more than just the effortless manner in which their two voices combined. It was almost as if he understood her in a way that nobody ever could.
Suddenly, Rachel knew exactly what she wanted to do on their first date. “Come on,” she said, reaching down to grab hold of Finn’s hand.
“Where are we going?” Finn asked as the tiny girl began to drag his massive frame down the street (he wasn’t putting up much of a fight).
“You’ll see,” Rachel replied secretively.
~*~
Her hand intertwined with Finn’s, Rachel walked down the busy Times Square thoroughfare in a state of disbelief. She still couldn’t quite believe that Finn was here, that he was by her side. She still couldn’t quite believe that she hadn’t been plunged into some bewildering, fantastical dream. Glancing at him out of the corner of her eye, she noted the differences that the years had wrought upon her long lost friend. He was more confident now, less bumbling. He seemed to walk with the air and grace of someone with a definitive purpose in life. But even as tiny prickles of electricity skirted up her wrist at the touch of his warm, smooth palm, she couldn’t help but wonder what purpose he had discovered. What was it that Finn Hudson was doing with his life?
“So, Finn,” she began awkwardly, searching her chaotic thoughts for something to say. “How long have you been in New York?”
“A couple weeks,” Finn replied, placing his free hand into the pocket of his slacks.
She waited for him to elaborate, to expand upon his statement. When he failed to do so, an uneasy silence fell between them. “That’s great,” she stated lamely, a mild rush of heat rising to her cheeks. Where were her keen words and profound sentiments when she needed them most?
“Yeah,” Finn nodded, kicking at a crumpled piece of paper. “You know, for work.”
“Oh,” she said, folding her lips as she cast about for something else to say. Finally, she settled on gathering more information about his career. “What is it that you do?” she asked.
“I’m a public relations analyst for L.J. Carson and Sons,” he stated, staring straight ahead. “Well, minus the ‘sons’. My boss works on his own.”
At first, Rachel wasn’t certain that she’d heard him properly. Finn - her Finn - was a businessman? The Finn she’d known, the Finn she’d dated, the Finn she’d loved had entered a life of drab meetings and nine-to-five workdays? He hated structure. Even worse than that, he hated hard work.
“Wow,” she murmured, pausing as she turned to face him. “I never would have thought that you would entertain such a profession, Finn.”
“Yeah, well,” he shrugged, dropping her hand. Immediately, her skin grew chilly from the loss of contact. “It just sort of happened.”
She studied him for a long moment, gazing at his downcast eyes, the mild downward curve of his lips and the slight slump of his shoulders. Her chest clenched at the sight, and she found herself wondering if Finn really had found a purpose after all. She found herself wondering if the confident man standing before her was still the confused boy she had known in her youth. She could almost see him hiding behind that cinnamon gaze, almost see him peeking out from beneath the shadows flickering within his eyes. She sensed a terrible sadness behind those shadows, a terrible weight that she hadn’t known him to carry in the years they’d known each other. In the years they’d been close friends. In the years they’d fallen in love. And before the words had even formed within her mind, she heard them flowing through the air between them. “Are you happy?” she asked, staring at him intently. For some reason, her breath grew shallow as she waited for his response.
He blinked at the question, running his fingers through his short brown hair. “Sure,” he said, but she sensed that the answer had been given more on impulse than anything else. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know,” she stated honestly, and it was her turn to shrug. “I just never figured you for a businessman, Finn.”
“We all have to pay the bills, Rachel,” he replied quietly, averting his gaze to a point just behind her left shoulder. “It’s a good job.”
“I’m sure it is,” she whispered, fiddling with the hem of her sweater. Even so, she couldn’t help but notice that the sadness reflected in his gaze had suddenly begun to penetrate her chest. And before she realized what she was doing, she felt herself following another impulse, and making another statement without thought: “Come on,” she said, reaching once again for his hand.
“Where are we going?” he asked as his forehead crinkled.
“You’ll see,” she said simply, giving him a secretive wink as she laced her fingers together with his own. And in the midst of Times Square, among crowds of theatre goers, tourists and residents alike, the tiny, lithe woman began pulling the tall, muscular man down the street.
“Rachel, where are you taking me?” he demanded, but she noticed that he wasn’t putting up much of a fight.
“Come on, Finn,” she replied jovially, pulling harder still. “Even stuffy businessmen like surprises.”
~*~
Nine Years Ago (Give or Take a Few Months . . .)
“What is this place?” Finn asked curiously, relishing the warmth of Rachel’s hand as she led him into a secluded woodsy area. The scent of oak wafted through the air and teased his nostrils, tiny twigs broke under his feet and the increasingly chilly breeze whipped through his hair.
“I frequently come here when I feel the need to think,” Rachel admitted, stepping over a fallen log. “It’s just so peaceful that it’s easy to wrap my mind around the troubling issues I often face.”
“Huh,” Finn grunted for a second time that night, although he sort of felt like he understood what she meant. Coming here, getting away from everything, made it easier to forget about other stuff. School, the guys, the fear that he wasn’t going to measure up. It was almost like he was stepping into some secret world, some hidden universe to which only he and Rachel had the key. And when she led him to a narrow bridge overlooking a gurgling stream, the feeling only intensified. “This is cool,” he said, gazing at her affectionately as he squeezed her hand.
“I like it,” she said quietly, shrugging as she blushed under the weight of his stare.
The sight caused his heart to race, and he found himself pulling her against his chest and wrapping his arms around her slender waist. Tucking her head under his chin, he breathed in her sweet scent and placed a gentle kiss atop her head. “This is nice,” he confessed. Having Rachel in his arms, knowing that she was finally his . . . it was like everything he’d wanted was finally starting to happen. It was like all the crap he’d endured over the past few months was finally starting to disappear. After everything he’d been through, his life was finally starting to become something good, something amazing. And he had Rachel to thank for all of it.
“Sometimes life becomes a little difficult,” Rachel stated, turning in his arms to look at the stream. Folding her small hands over Finn’s much larger ones, she leaned against his muscular torso and continued. “But when I come here, it’s like everything is okay again.”
“Yeah,” Finn agreed, prickles of electricity coursing through his skin at her touch. “I get that.”
“I knew you would,” she said, a breathy quality entering her tone as she watched the water ripple below. “You’re different, Finn. Special. You’re not like the other boys at McKinley High.”
His lips puckered at her words even as a rush of hope surged through his veins. After everything he’d done, after everything he’d put her through, her statement was almost like a salve for his guilty mind. “Really?” he asked, tightening his grip around her tiny frame.
“Yeah,” Rachel confirmed, nodding. “Really.”
“I’m sorry, Rachel,” his words spilled forth before they had fully formed within his thoughts. “I’m sorry for all the stuff I put you through.” He paused, trying to figure out what it was that he was trying to say. Trying to figure out what it was that he wanted to convey. Even though she had clearly forgiven him, even though she had clearly decided to give him a second chance, he felt like she deserved more. He felt like she deserved an apology, an explanation, an admission. He felt like she deserved the world. “I’m sorry that I was such a douche,” he said instead, and had to refrain from smacking himself in the forehead. He really needed to pay better attention in English class.
If he had been facing her, he might have noticed the tender smile which spread across her face. He might have noticed the warm gleam which flickered within her eyes, and the pink flush which colored her cheeks. He might have noticed that his words had meant much more than he believed. As it was, he only noticed the way she turned in his arms, pulling away from his touch.
“I didn’t mean -“ he hastily began, but Rachel silenced him by standing on tiptoe and placing a finger to his lips.
“You don’t have to apologize anymore, Finn, “she replied, gazing at him warmly. His eyes widened slightly when he felt goose bumps break out onto his arms as he registered the expression on her face. “I’ve already forgiven you.” And before he could say another word, before he could even think of an appropriate response, she was suddenly leaning forward and capturing his lips in a sweet, ardent embrace.
The shallow stream continued to gurgle and the evening breeze continued to blow through his hair, but as Finn fell into her kiss, he forgot about everything else.
~*~
“What is this place?” Finn queried, relishing the warmth of Rachel’s hand as she pulled him into a smoky abode. The scents of alcohol and perfume wafted through the air and teased his nostrils, cigarette butts littered the floor under his feet and the heady air caused his face to flush.
“You’ll see,” Rachel repeated her earlier promise with a sly smile, tugging him further into the depths of the room.
“Wait a second,” Finn stalled, stopping in his tracks as he noticed a narrow stage bedecking the farthest wall. “Rachel, what are you up to?” His heart began to thud as her sly smile quickly transformed into a wicked grin. Even after seven years, she still had the ability to leave him speechless. When had the prim and ambitious Rachel Berry turned into such a vixen?
“I told you, Finn,” she replied, winking. “You’ll see.”
“Rachel,” he warned, but she had already begun pulling him closer to the stage. And when they arrived, when they stopped in front of the platform, she motioned to the stage hand to lean down so she could whisper into his ear. A jolt of irrational jealousy followed by a twinge of nervous apprehension rocketed through his muscular frame when the man nodded and graced her with a special smile. Returning to his position on the stage, he thumbed through a booklet and hit some buttons on his audio equipment.
“Rachel,” he tried again, a stubborn edge entering his words, “What are we doing here?” Somehow, he already knew the answer to his question. Somehow, he already understood why she’d pulled him into the dim, musky club. But even as he waited for her response, even as he stood quietly while her eyes flickered over the shadows playing across his face, his nervous apprehension grew even more pronounced. Because after seven years of pushing himself to succeed, after seven years of forgetting everything he had once been, he wasn’t sure if he was ready to experience this now. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to return to a life that he had once chosen to leave far behind.
Even if it meant returning to a woman who had once been his everything.
Perhaps Rachel sensed his trepidation. Perhaps she knew what he was thinking, knew what he was feeling. Perhaps she understood what it had taken for him to even come this far. After all, she had always been good at understanding him. She had always known how he felt even before he knew it himself. And even though he couldn’t help the prickle of regret which coursed through his chest when her smile faltered and her expression turned serious, he also experienced a surge of relief. Maybe she had changed her mind.
He should have known that Rachel Berry was nothing if not determined.
“This is a karaoke club, Finn,” she explained, gesturing toward the audience. “People come here to listen to others sing.”
“I know what a karaoke club is, Rach,” he sighed, pushing his hands into his pockets. “I just don’t know what we’re doing here.”
For the second time that night, he had the odd sensation that Rachel was staring straight into his soul as she gazed at him with her intense brown eyes. “I thought that was obvious,” she replied quietly, taking a step toward him even as she ran her smooth pink tongue anxiously over the expanse of her soft, warm lips. Despite himself, Finn suddenly found himself transfixed by her mouth. “Come on, Finn,” she cajoled, looking up at him through thick lashes. “When was the last time you sang?”
Clearing his throat as he attempted to clear his mind of all thoughts pertaining to her moist mouth, his features quickly turned guarded. “High school graduation,” he said promptly, shrugging nonchalantly even though he felt anything but. “I stopped being the male lead of New Directions a long time ago.”
“Finn,” Rachel replied softly, knowingly, as she took another step forward and placed her small hand upon his muscular chest. “Don’t you understand?” she plead. “While it’s true that Glee ended a long time ago, you never stopped being you. You never stopped being that special, amazing guy who loved to sing.”
“You’re wrong, Rachel,” he shook his head, even though his words were reluctant. Even though he almost longed to agree; even though he almost longed to get up on that stage, to return to her side, to sing as if the years had suddenly melted away. “I’m not that guy anymore.”
“No, Finn,” she stated firmly, her fingers digging softly into the skin of his chest. “You’re wrong. You’ll always be that guy.”
He opened his mouth to argue. He opened his mouth to decline, to refuse, to deny it all. But before he could say another word, before he could even figure out what he wanted to say, the stage hand was leaning back down to their level. “Are you ready, Rachel?” he prodded.
Glancing from Finn to the stage hand and back again, Rachel raised her brows. “What do you say?” she asked, that same soulful expression radiating from her eyes. “Will you sing with me one more time?” And then, when he still appeared reluctant, when he still appeared as though he would refuse, she batted her lashes and continued in a more sultry tone. “For me?” she asked, leaning so close that her breath was warm against his jaw.
Damn it. Even after all this time, she still knew exactly how to twist him around her little finger. Even after all this time, she still knew exactly how to get underneath his skin and force him to do anything she wanted. Even as the refusal formed on his tongue, he found himself nodding in acquiescence. “One last time,” he agreed. And when her face broke into a radiant grin and she pulled him up the steps of the stage, he could only follow obediently in her wake.
“What are we singing?” he questioned as a microphone was thrust into his hand. But he needn’t have bothered. As Rachel took her place by his side, the opening strains of Don’t Stop Believin’ began to emanate from the speakers. Before he knew what was happening, she was giving him that same soulful look. And suddenly, he had begun to sing. The lyrics rushed forth from bygone years, the rhythm lost but not forgotten. Never forgotten. He hadn’t forgotten a thing, he realized as he belted out a song etched permanently into his mind.
He wanted to remain guarded, he wanted to remain aloof. He didn’t want to allow himself to give into the feelings pumping through his veins. Unfortunately, he had learned long ago that what he wanted almost never turned out exactly as he’d planned.
The music washed over him as if a salve for his troubled past; it flowed forth from their combined voices, echoing against every corner and reverberating along every wall only to return in perfect harmony to its point of origin. Only to return with amazing force to his conscious mind, causing years of buried emotions and repressed thoughts to spring forth with surprising clarity. And when they were finished, and Rachel was pressed tightly against his side, he began to wonder what it was he had been hiding from. Even more, he began to wonder if maybe it was time to let go of the past seven years and return to his own point of origin.
He began to wonder why he’d ever given this up in the first place.