(no subject)
Title:Nagai Aida Pairing: KaixAoi
Genre: uh... I don’t know... is this considered angst?
Fandom: the GazettE Beta: choko_kuriimu
Disclaimer: okay. I don’t own the band, the lyric, and... anything but the idea.
Author’s note: lyric by Kiroro, and in fact it’s called ‘Nagai Aida’ really.
You know… I was listening to this in the car then suddenly I had the idea and all... And I thought I should try it so... I hope you’ll enjoy.
To the ‘Are you Afraid of movies?’ readers: Sorry. I WILL translate the second part, but I still don’t know when… ;-;’
Nagai Aida
~Long Time~
Nagai aida matasete gomen
Sorry for making you wait so long time
I know I’ve taken too long time to notice it...
Making you wait, so patiently, when I was only pretending I didn’t know anything, when I didn’t even have the courage to admit it to myself.
Mata kyuu ni shigoto ga haita
All of sudden I had a lot of work to do
Always taking work as an excuse, always acting like I didn’t have time for anything, anyone else, and...you.
But instead to react like I imagined, you just smiled and accept my apology even though it was pretty clear all those things were not important. Not as important as you.
Itsumo iisho ni irarenakute
We couldn’t be always together
I sighed. Why did I felt like the urge to run away from your presence?
I just don’t know. I can’t even make a theory, even the most improbable ones.
Why am I so afraid of you?
If in the end...
... I just have discovered that was no fear I felt, but...
Sabishii omoi wo saseta ne
I let you feel loneliness, didn’t I?
I know you feel alone, sadness, like no one cares about you.
I understand that even if you don’t tell me with words.
Because I know you.
I know how simple is it, to make you feel lonely.
I mean, I know because you feel it easily... just like me.
Doesn’t it sound too cruel?
I mean...
I was hurting the person I care, and knowing it.
I can’t believe myself either.
Aenai toki jyuwaki kara kikoeru
When we can’t see each other, I listen from the telephone
When I saw my cell phone ringing, I felt ashamed of myself and think not to answer.
But I answered it anyway.
Because when I close my eyes listening to the ringing, I can see your feelings. Your loneliness, wanting someone to talk a bit, your worries getting bigger because I didn’t answer...
I can’t hurt you more than I already did, can I?
Kimi no koe ga kasureteru
You voice is hoarse
Your voice through the telephone says me how relieved you are.
I don’t know if it’s because you know I’m alright, or just because you know that you have someone to talk to you, to feel less lonely.
And when I think of it, I smiled a sad smile.
I can’t help but think that I could make you a little happy.
When the truth just say clearly in my face that that was not it, that I’m not allowed to think in this way.
Hisashiburi ni atta toki no
When we meet after a long time
Even when I thought I could take you from my head, from my dreams, I couldn’t. Not when I see your sweet smile in the next morning, at work, when you say greet shyly.
And I can’t help but feel warm and smile back, saying ‘good morning’.
Kimi no egao ga mune wo saratte yuku
You smile fill my chest
If I had to choose what I like most about you, I would say it’s your smile.
It’s just too beautiful, when it’s happy, shy, sarcastic and sad. Though, I always feel a pressure in my heart when I see the last one.
Kizuita no anata ga konna ni mune no naka ni iru koto
I realized how important you are to me
Now all I can do is think about you.
What have you done to me?
I can’t see anyone else when you are around.
I can’t pay attention to anything! Not even hitting the drums when you look at me!
How many times have I listened to complains because I forgot the rhythm only today?
Aishiteru masaka ne sonna koto ienai
I love you, as if I could say that
Even if I accepted the feeling I have about you, even when it’s written on my face clearly, even if everyone knows, even if you know, even if you love me back.
How can I tell you?
After I have done?
Or more specific, what I hadn’t done?
When I only brought you pain?
When I leave you in sadness?
When I can’t even forgive myself for this?
No... I can’t. I know I’m not allowed to do too.
And that’s why I don’t force myself to tell you those three words.
Anata no sono kotoba dake wo shinjite
Believing only in your words
‘Kyo made matte ita watashi
Until today I have waited to you
Egao dake wa wasurenai youni
Just don’t forget my smile
Anata no soba ni itai kara
I want to stay with you
Waratteru anata no soba dewa sunao ni nareru no’
With you, being in your side, I can laugh honestly
‘You know... I love you Kai.’
If I am allow to say it to you, to tell you what you want to hear...
I know that I can’t.
That’s why I do nothing other than letting my tears pouring down.
If I am allow...
All I want to do is to hug you tightly, in a way I know you won’t be far away from me, kiss you sweetly yet like there is no tomorrow, and whisper in your ear, ‘I love you Aoi’, and it hurts so much to realize that I can’t do this.
Aishiteru demo masaka ne...sonna koto ienai
I love you but... As if I could say that.
I see your sweet smile and the way your fingers try to dry
my tears, your voice so low and calm, telling me, ‘Don’t worry. Ccalm down a
bit. I had never blamed you, you know that. Then how about trying to forget all
those things? I love you just the way you are...’
I see you closing your eyes and without thinking, I do the
same as you are getting closer to me, kissing me so gently.
How can I say ‘I love you’ when you are an angel and
I am just a sinner bringing you to the darkness?
Author’s Note part 2. 8D
Well… Just for curiosity. ‘Nagai Aida’ was translated as
‘Long Time’ but in fact can be ‘Long Relationship’
thanks to choko_kuriimu love you my beta <3
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